Ivy Slater, 49, New York City, NY

Age Esteem brings to mind a warmth.  Age Esteem to me is our esteemed age. – Not growing old or that we are x years old.  Old is negative, esteem is positive so AgeEsteem is seeing each additional year that we age as being more esteemed, more knowledgeable – and the more special we are.

One concern I have is that my body will keep up with my mind.  I don’t worry about my mind because I love to intake.  I work hard to make my body keep up with all the things that I still see ahead.

Ivy’s Tips:  Keep wonderful women around you, empowering women around you.  Surround yourself with women who are open of heart, open of mind, and encouraging.  – Women that you encourage and support, and who support you.

Exercise.  As opposed to pounding at the gym, I suggest walking with your girl friends.  Walking with women is both physical and mental.  Be kind to yourself and kind to your body.  Give your body what it needs when it needs it.  I would be the first to tell you that I love my ice cream, but we must make our choices.  Make sure that you take care of your body.  Don’t eat all junk food.  Make sure you spend time taking care of your outer body as well as your inner body.  So take Yoga classes or pilatis or walk with friends or go to the gym if that is how it works for you, but take the time.  Take the mental time and time for peace.  We are right here at the Women’s Global Summit and meeting and sharing interesting stories, but then at the end of the day you must digest it. – Letting it all sink into your mind, your body and your spirit.

Ivy Slater is a business coach working specifically with women in business, women entrepreneurs and women in sales at Slater Success Coaching.

Robyn Simon, 67, Blue Mountains of Australia

What is Age Esteem?   If you’re talking about ladies, I think a woman should be confident to be herself at every stage of her life and especially as she matures to have an understanding of how she presents herself to the outside world based on her own belief in herself and not that dictated by fashion, culture or status.  To realize that I can say from my life that the more mature you get, in actual fact in your own outrageous or quiet way the more outrageous you can be.

It’s an interesting word, esteem, and I think sometimes it is hard won.  The situations around us put us down and make us feel small and I think this is where the community of other women can really support us.  I think that Age Esteem can start at any stage of life from the youngest person to the most mature.

My greatest concern is the lack of physical flexibility and strength.  I feel that because I’m taking care of supplementation and diet and I have relatively good genes with aging I’m intending not to lose my flexibility and strength , but it is one of my concerns.  I’ve been crippled with arthritis and I’m looking after my eyesight but I would be very concerned to lose the faculty of eye sight.  My concern would be to lose the facility to have continuing new adventures in life.  I would not like to lose that.  And yes, a practical concern and a very valid one for most women of the world is to have enough finances to maintain my life in a relatively comfortable manner, and especially to have enough finance to move and to travel a bit.  I think that is very important to me.

Robyn’s Tips:  Stay in the present as much as possible and do not dwell in the past.  Do not live with regret mulling over negative things that may have happened in the past.  Keep your mind in the present as much as possible.

I think that Spiritual development and training is very important to well being because if you train your mind not to sweat the small stuff.  Sweating the small stuff is occupying your mind with criticism, hatred, or all things that can pull a person down.

It is very helpful for a woman to be sure that she has younger friends in her life.  I think you need to have a large spectrum in associations.  I actually went back to work in a spa industry that does massages and beauty treatments and facials and most of the young ladies who worked with me were between the ages of 19 and 25.  That’s one of the best things I’ve done.  I also love spending time with younger men.  Some of the greatest actresses in the world made it very clear that you should have young men around you.  Their energy, all they exude, their presence, I think it is helpful and important.  And I think that a lot of European ladies have known that for a long time.

Also diet.  There is a lot of knowledge out there now for how to look after your physical body that’s reasonable.

Robyn Simon, specialist in aromatic medicine, www.mydoterra.com/robynsimon

Bernice Seigel, 78,  Holiday, FL, USA

What is Age Esteem?  Being a senior citizen myself I can put myself into that category because I feel fine being of the age I am.  I have a great deal of esteem for myself and for others of my age.  I have a great deal of respect for age and try to deal with my age the best I can.

One of my concerns with aging is that we moved here (Holiday, Florida) late in life two years ago, and I was just hoping that I would be able to fix the house and to be around to enjoy it.   It’s the same thing for my husband who just bought a brand new car.  We have the goal that we are going to live!

My chronological age is almost 79, but I feel as young as the people around me.  I’ve always worked with younger people.  I think that has a great deal to do with it.

Bernice’s Tips:  First of all I’m fortunate enough to have good health.  That is the most important thing.  My husband also is in good health, so we are able to do a lot of things together.  But we also do things separately.  He’s the math and science person and he taught.  I am the humanities and the languages, the fun person as far as that is concerned.

My tip is working with younger people, being with younger people.  I didn’t want to move into an older community because I honestly cannot relate to those people.  I sing in a chorus.  When we are singing for the senior citizens I am so happy to be one on our side of the stage.  I feel for them and I am very thankful.

I keep myself very active.  I’m involved with the chorus.  We go out to lunches.  We go shopping.  I just have a positive attitude toward life.  I’m at an age where I can enjoy it.  I feel fortunate.  We have the house and financially the means to live.  We have lovely children who are very active themselves and encourage my husband and myself to do what we have to do.

Get up and move around.  My parents died at 90 and 91, so my genealogy is pretty good.  But my parents thought when they turned 65 which is retirement age here, that was the end.  My father was more active, but they just waited all that time to die, which is horrible.  They had everything to live for.  They had their own house.  They owed no money.  They stayed in their house.  I was fortunate enough to be able to help them stay in their own home with help until they passed on.

My sister who is 8 1/2 years younger than I am has my same positive attitude.  She is 70 now.  Her husband died 3 years ago and she just got herself a new boyfriend.  He is 78, my age.  She says, “Look, if you can be as great at that age I guess he is also.”  Yes, I think you need a good attitude of mind.

Christy Rutherford, 61, Sequim, Washington

I think Age Esteem is feeling good about yourself at any age no matter what age you are.

I’m not really concerned about growing older.  I just want to continue to grow and getting old is just part of the process.  It’s not something that I am concerned about.  I’m loving every part of my life and this is just a new part of my life. – Something to look forward to.

Christy’s Tips:  I do what I love and I love what I do.  It’s really true.  Every day I get up with the idea about asking what would you have me do today and what is it I’m supposed to be doing today?  That would be either to help my family, myself, or someone else.  I just go with my impressions.  Sometimes I don’t, but when I do I feel better about myself.  If I don’t, I give myself good excuses like I deserve to take a break and do just what I feel like today.

Keep a positive attitude.  Don’t worry about how you look and what other people think about what you are or who you are.  Be grateful for every single day and for every person you come into contact with and even for the difficulties you have. Even the difficulties make you a stronger person.

Christy Rutherford teaches youth and children drama skills and theater skills.

Philip Selby, Yorkshire, England and Geneva, Switzerland

I imagine Age Esteem is about trying to help people to accept their age and to accept their values without regarding age as a negative, because many people regard age in a negative light. This is what I call ageism.

One of my personal concerns is to try and keep fit physically and mentally.  I’ve always been interested in physical exercise and sports so I try to continue my physical exercise by running long distances which I enjoy and I try to keep my mind busy mainly through learning new languages.  At the moment I’m learning Chinese.  I’ve been to China a couple of times.  I hope to go back and I’m struggling to learn Mandarin which is a big challenge.  It is far more difficult than other languages I’ve learned, including Russian and Hebrew.

One of my fears is that I will injure myself running and that I will have to curtail my running, so I have to try to adapt my exercise in such a way that I reduce the possibility of damaging my joints.  I think a lot of people who go in for long distance running don’t consider the impact it can have on the back, the hips, the knees.  I try to run within my limits.

Philip’s Tips:  I would say forget about your age, because I believe our chronological age should not affect how we feel about ourselves.  I would say we should do the things we want to do, to do the things that we enjoy and not regard age as a barrier or as an excuse.  I don’t think it’s an excuse to say that I can’t do such and such, I can’t run a half marathon because I’m too old.  If you have a physical disability, if you’re sick, if you have a problem with your knees for example then maybe you can’t run a half marathon but I don’t think age in itself is enough reason not to do what we enjoy doing.

Another piece of advice is to read my book about aging which gives advice on a wide range of topics helping to achieve successful aging.  By that I mean reaching an advanced age and still to be active physically and mentally and to be able to play a part in society and to have good relations with one’s friends and one’s family, to have avoided accidents and to have taken care of one’s finances.  There are many things one can consider from middle age which I would say is about 40ish in order to achieve successful aging.

I don’t really run to compete. I realize that I’m probably too old and not fit enough to do that, but I do enjoy taking part in long-distance runs in particular when there are a lot of runners and a great atmosphere.  Two runs which I enjoy very much are annual runs: The Matterhornlauf which takes place in August running from Zermatt in the Valais in Switzerland with a 1000 meters increase in height to Schwarzsee, and the other is the Great North Run which is a half Marathon in Newcastle in the UK with about 50,000 people taking part.  One of the great things about it is that all the runners are raising money for various charities, and I have had the opportunity not only to enjoy running but to raise money for a worthwhile cause, which presently is Children With Cancer UK.

Philip Selby is the author of Live Better, Live Longer: A Practical Guide to Successful Aging available as an ebook on Amazon.com; also published in French (Bien Savoir Vieillir), in Japanesse and in Chinese.

Bonnie Ross-Parker, 67, Atlanta, GA (originally from Hartford, CT)

I love the idea of AgeEsteem. I think of being proud to be where you are whatever your age is and having that kind of self-confidence and that belief in yourself that doesn’t have anything to do with age or with your chronological place in the world.  It’s just how you feel about yourself.

There are concerns about aging.  I guess I would have to say that my greatest concern is that I won’t be able to get everything done that I want to do before I pass.  There is so much more travel and so many more experiences I would like to have.  I’ve been moving into the closing of my 6^th decade, and it makes me realize that time is so short and so valuable and there is so much more to do and so much to experience.  That would be my greatest concern about age.  With my own experience with age I can say that I just love where I am.  I wouldn’t trade youth for experience under any circumstances.

Bonnie’s Tips:  Feeling good about yourself is an inside job.  It has to come from living a fulfilling life, and I am there.  I express gratitude every day.  I feel blessed every day.  I feel fulfilled in the work that I do.  I meditate.  I work out.  I do what I can to feel good about myself.  It has nothing to do with my age.  It has to do with just wanting to have the most energy and the most out of every single moment of every single day.  So for me it’s not at all about age or aging.  It’s more about enriching my life day to day and making it the best it can be at any given time.

As far as advice is concerned, I would just say to live each moment.  I know that sounds trite.  Everybody says live each day as it comes, but it is really getting the most out of the life you have, getting the most out of the experiences, making the most out of relationships, touching people’s lives, making a difference in somebody else’s life.  I think you look within to be fulfilled and not look for happiness from the outside with the new car, the new house, the new whatever.   Instead, just know that you are contributing and making a difference in the world.  If you don’t feel that you are, then find a way to do that through volunteering, through a warm shoulder, through a compassionate ear, whatever you can do.  It is the relationships that are fostered along the way that is most important.

It is interesting that the word journey has the word our in it.  I think the journey is really a collective energy.

Bonnie Ross-Parker is a professional speaker and author and creator if the national organization, The Joy of Connecting.

Ann Banner, 62, NC, USA

I think that when I hear AgeEsteem it is how you feel at any point in your life whether you’re considered young, middle aged or older.  Naturally by being over 60 now, it is how I feel about myself and being over 60 years old.

I think more recently I’ve given aging more thought because in my immediate area and among the people I grew up with, I see a lot of people I went to high school with who are dying in their mid- 60’s.   It concerns me not so much because I feel that I’m next, but because I do wonder what is it about our age group that seems to be more prevalent.  Then I fear that since years are going by there are things that I have to consider because I won’t live another 62 years.  I don’t know if it is so much a fear as it is a concern.

Ann’s Tips: I’m probably harder on myself than on other people.  I find myself telling other people things that I really should be speaking to myself about.  But when my younger co-workers say, “Oh is it 5 o’clock yet?”  I’m often heard to say, “Someone wishes they had all day.”  So don’t wish your life away.  I think that because I see time going by so fast, or seemingly so fast, I just think people ought to treasure that voice.  I find myself saying that a lot.  I try to live each day to the fullest.

I think that if people are honest with themselves they’ll realize there are things that they don’t like about themselves, but it’s the only self they’re going to get.  I guess what I would say is what I say to myself.   Emphasize those things that you do well.  We all have some, like a good sense of humor or patience, tolerance, understanding of other people, being less critical of other people.  Those things are all a part of our esteem and I think if we stopped and realized what is good that we can share with other people, we would feel better about ourselves.  That is where it starts.  If we’re not happy within we sure can’t share it.  Misery loves company.  That’s for sure.  I think people often seek out other people who don’t feel good either.  If you go to another person and you feel bad, you’re probably going to go to the person that’s going to agree with you, and that’s not always the best thing to do.

Ann Banner is a public health pediatric nurse working primarily with the pediatric residents from Chapel Hill, NC, USA

Bonnie Fatio

Hendrica Okondo, 55, Kenya

AgeEsteem makes me think of feisty, fantastic wise women.

I think my fear of aging is that people will forget that I’m intelligent and I can still do the things I did when I was younger and that they will do things for me instead of ask me.

Hendrica’s Tips: I think the passion to live and just feeling blessed that I’m alive.  I thought I would die at 50.  And here I am meeting all these lovely young people.  I like women especially because there is always a story and they always want to know more about people.  I want to know what their stories are.  That’s what makes me excited.

I am in a line of work that keeps me in contact with like-minded people.  I don’t think it matters where they are.  I’ve met highly powerful women like Michelle Bachelet who is very down to earth and very nice, and I’ve met women in the village in Sudan who were fun to be with just sitting under a tree.  They can laugh at what they went through during the war and still find time to ask whether I have a husband and where are my children.  I think women wherever they are have this personal touch and that is what I love about them.

I think you should affirm yourself and not be concerned with what people think about you.  Just be clear that you are beautiful, not according to the model in the magazine, but beautiful with a good heart.  If you have a beautiful smile it makes it even better.  I think if you pick something you are enthusiastic about, even volunteer, it is good.  I was very inspired by two very important women coming in the other day just to help write certificates for speakers at the Women’s Summit.  That is very inspiring.  It shows just how committed and how engaged they are, which means that they are not sitting at home thinking, I’m lucky I’m bored.  No, they are just ready to go out and help.  It is the kind of thing I find in my village where you find grandmothers who are ready to come to church at any time and to decorate the church. –  They’re ready to do any work that you want them to do.  At the end of it you can all sit around and just laugh.  (I’m sorry you don’t have Hendrica’s contagious laugh live.  She shares it generously.)  I think that laughter just makes it easier.  I have great admiration for the women at the world office of the YWCA .  They work really very hard, and sometimes when things are going terribly wrong they just sit down and laugh.  I think it is a strength that keeps you going.

We need to stay current.  I love my job.  I get to talk about sex to women and they seem very shocked when I do because somehow I don’t think that my face looks like someone talking about sex.  I’m a Catholic, and I love to talk to Catholics about sex, because the Pope should have nothing to say about sex since he doesn’t practice it.  Especially in the continent I work in where we have 6 million young women that were born positive.  They have the virus.  So I get very angry when people say we want a virus free world,   These kids will never lead a virus free life, but they do want to have sex.  They also watch television and they know that relationships are what makes a young person.  If we do not tell them how to protect themselves, we will not reach the target of zero transmission.  They will do it secretly and they will transmit the virus.  This is a reality.  You can’t preach abstinence to someone who already has the virus.  So it becomes very serious work and I believe that women have a right to make decisions about their own bodies.  I definitely think if you want to have an abortion and you have information and you make a conscious decision and you understand the consequences you should have a right to safe and proper services to have the abortion.

Hendrica Okondo is Global manager for reproductive health and rights and HIV, and also the focal point for Africa at the World Office of the YWCA.

Bonnie Fatio

Daniel Meylan, 76, Paris, France

Age esteem?  Esteem is already important alone.  With age it is even more important.  It is good to put them together.  We’re not so old.  We must continue to esteem ourselves and to care for ourselves well, not let ourselves go.

Daniel’s Tips:  I force myself not to let go of what I have always done.  I oblige myself to stay physically fit and to not be a vegetable.  I walk a lot.  A couple weeks ago I fell because I was racing to catch a bus.  It was a lesson.  I will not do that again.  It has taken me these weeks to recuperate my normal way of walking, which has to do with regaining confidence.

At present I have a problem.  If I don’t know people, I have a difficult time to carry on a conversation like I used to.  I am destabilized because I don’t find my words like I used to.  As a result I panic which makes it worse.  To improve this I am going to a coach specialized in helping me find the words that I have lost.  It is a long journey.  I completely stopped speaking at a certain point and now I am trying to recuperate the vocabulary I’ve lost.  I’ve also lost much of my English and my German.  Now I force myself to make conversation with others.  I actively engage in social occasions.

For the intellectual side I read books on the Middle Ages to learn about that era.  It is very difficult for me to concentrate, but I insist on doing it.  It is also another way to recuperate some of my words.

It’s also important to be with family, with the grandchildren regularly.

I go to a center for older people several times a week.  There is a woman there who is 100.  She manages to keep physically and mentally fit and is a strong role model for me.  She is well dressed.  I am considered someone who is still completely present.  I feel comfortable there but sometimes wonder why I go.  I am still completely independent which isn’t the case for most.  I get there and home by my own means.  I want to keep my autonomy.  It’s important for me.

We go there to live as well as possible as long as possible.  I am in the section that designs and paints in the morning and does gymnastics in the afternoon, though I am in much better physical form than the others.

I am strict with myself for all questions of remaining in shape.

Bonnie Fatio

Don Adams, 78, USA

Age esteem is both for yourself inwardly and outwardly.  It is two different things.  One is esteem for yourself and the other is to encourage other senior folks to have high esteem for themselves.

One of my biggest concerns with aging is to not forget things. – To have the capacity to keep all the things going that I have a need to keep going for myself and my family.  I have the concern about being able to do that. – All the myriad of things that one does on a day to day basis.  If you lose track of some, the impact of not getting those things done, especially if you are the only person aware of the need to do it, may have an impact on family and friends.

One of my big concerns is to try to insure that I do whatever I can do day by day to contribute to the future life for my wife, Lynne, so if something were to happen to me she can have some reasonable life and not have a life of being in poverty.

Don’s Tips: Try to expand your sense of humor, not taking yourself too seriously.  Constantly evaluate and reevaluate all the things you have had that were important to you and things that you felt that you had to do and other people had to do to test those against reality.  Determine is this really true or do you need to rethink or re-evaluate?  Open up your thoughts, which I think is very important.  It’s not just thoughts; it’s all aspects of your life – not getting in ruts, not being willing to look outside the things you have been holding dear or sacred.

My advice to myself would have been to not have a double bypass operation.  I should have exercised more and watched my habits in eating, etc.   I would recommend that to other people. Unfortunately for some like with me this has taken place over my whole life time, so what is in my arteries is in my arteries.  Develop the skill and ability to communicate to people.  If you find me giving advice understand that if you chose not to take it that it’s ok.  You can do something with it or not do something with it.

You have to keep expanding your circle in all areas of your life whether it’s with people, skills, or whatever.  Keep trying to expand and not just live within what is familiar and what has been part of your life.  Do not say this is wonderful; it cannot be improved upon.  Expand in all areas.

Don Adams and his family have lived in Belgium and England as well as the USA.

Bonnie Fatio