Elder Abuse

While riding a city bus in Geneva, Switzerland, I was fascinated by a video clip with the Helpline for people experiencing domestic violence. What caught my attention was the message of an older woman saying, “Since my husband has retired, he controls everything I do. I’ve had enough.”

There are many types of violence, and older persons are often abused physically, psychologically, sexually, and financially. This includes neglect, violation of rights, denial of privacy, and denial to participate in making decision.

Keeping in mind that throughout the world, 1 million people reach the age of 60 years every month, there is real concern that mistreatment of elders will increase.

So, what can you do?

• Become aware of what mistreatment of older people means so you can recognize it.
• Download this report from the United Nations to learn how to recognize abuse and what to do about it..
• Know your rights and seek help if you, or someone around you is being abused.
• Find out what services are available in your community to help prevent further violence and mistreatment. Speak to your healthcare professional, church leader, social services, Helpline, elder abuse prevention center.
• Remember to practice the techniques and concepts of AgeEsteem. The more confident and happier you are as you age, the greater your sense of self-worth and your expectation of being treated with respect and dignity.

No one should have to experience violence, abuse or mistreatment, at any age.

Bonnie Fatio

Age Esteem is “Being”

Are you present in the moment, or are you ruled by To Do Lists and self-imposed obligations?

I came across an e-zine that I had written three years ago.  “This is really good stuff”, I thought.  I pulled out another and another.

Did I really write these?  I know that I did, but they seemed to convey an authenticity that has been missing recently.

What has happened?  What am I doing differently today to make them less than they were?  Is it because of my health issues?  I have had several during the past three years.  Have I turned my passion into work?  I still love what I do.  Many questions bombarded me.

The answer came to me a couple days later as I was writing my To Do List. – I have become caught up in “doing” rather than “being”!

This revelation shook me up.  I had always prided myself in being drawn toward my vision rather than building it.  But here I was, several business mentors later, realizing that I was no longer being my genuine self and living the vision.  Instead, I was caught up in doing what must be done to build the vision.

You may say, “Of course you were.  That is how empires are made.”  But it is evident to me that I do not want to build an empire.  My vision is of a world where people of all ages are respected as valued members of society.

It is not an empire.  It is an attitude, a way of life that enhances lives around the globe.

I want to be a catalyst for this vision to positively transform the way we look at age.  It is a vision of dignity, respect and appreciation for the contribution and potential of each age, which is inclusive of all people.  This vision wants to be so strong that people begin to think, act and live the vision.

Yes!  For this I need to go back to “being” the vision.  Being means breathing, thinking, dreaming, feeling and vibrating the vision now.  It means being present in each moment.

I AM and I choose to BE.

Time will tell the difference this will make.  Oh, yes.  I will continue to “do” as well, but only as it relates to “being”.

How about you?

Bonnie Fatio

Hardy Korver, 54, Netherlands

When I hear the term Age Esteem I think of you, Bonnie Fatio! (laughter)  What made me think about it even before my wife put your book AgeEsteem in front of me was the economic crisis.  I thought, “We’re throwing away a lot of experienced good people because of age.”  You see that the other generations that are now a bit more elderly didn’t screw up as much as mine.  It’s a good mix.  We should use the mix.  Mix high and low in both ages and experience.  Use them both.  We need both.  We need those people yet we’ve let them go way too soon and we haven’t really given them the respect and responsibility that they should still have.

I’m becoming a dinosaur myself.  In fact Age Esteem is written about me.  It effects my life too.  I am a dinosaur in my firm.  There are only three guys older than I am and I’m only 54, and feel like 45.  As juniors we ran to the older guys, but there aren’t any older guys left. Your wings are clipped when you’re older.  I don’t think I can do as much.  Or I can, but I’m not supposed to.  That is the problem where Age Esteem comes in.  You may live alone, but surely you are surrounded by others saying, “You can’t do that anymore.”

Hardy’s tips: Know the relativity of everything. Don’t dig yourself in too much to what you are doing at present because there is much more around you.

Get balance in your life.  Work is very important.  You get a lot out of it but grave yards are full of those people who couldn’t be missed.  I keep that in mind. Work hard and play hard.  At least if you play hard you enjoy other things.   I still have people around me who take four weeks holiday and the rest of the year they’re 100 km and hour, always.  I can’t believe that that’s good.  No one ever died from working hard.  They die because they don’t take a rest.  Relax some of the time.

It is more than just reloading the battery. I think that’s a poor description of just survival.  It’s getting inspiration, not only charging the battery but getting new ideas.  You don’t have the same energy as when you started out, so you have to grow.  It’s inspiration and that can only happen if you look around you in a different way.   I have gotten the nicest inspirations from very unexpected things that I see.  Like in Africa or my home, too.