Elder Abuse

While riding a city bus in Geneva, Switzerland, I was fascinated by a video clip with the Helpline for people experiencing domestic violence. What caught my attention was the message of an older woman saying, “Since my husband has retired, he controls everything I do. I’ve had enough.”

There are many types of violence, and older persons are often abused physically, psychologically, sexually, and financially. This includes neglect, violation of rights, denial of privacy, and denial to participate in making decision.

Keeping in mind that throughout the world, 1 million people reach the age of 60 years every month, there is real concern that mistreatment of elders will increase.

So, what can you do?

• Become aware of what mistreatment of older people means so you can recognize it.
• Download this report from the United Nations to learn how to recognize abuse and what to do about it..
• Know your rights and seek help if you, or someone around you is being abused.
• Find out what services are available in your community to help prevent further violence and mistreatment. Speak to your healthcare professional, church leader, social services, Helpline, elder abuse prevention center.
• Remember to practice the techniques and concepts of AgeEsteem. The more confident and happier you are as you age, the greater your sense of self-worth and your expectation of being treated with respect and dignity.

No one should have to experience violence, abuse or mistreatment, at any age.

Bonnie Fatio

Elder Abuse Awareness Day

Elder abuse is a problem that often goes undefined. Frankly, I found it frightening to read the signs of abuse shared by the U.S. National Institute on Aging. Why? Because they seem to also fit the stereotype of an older person, the image that has been fed to us over the years.

The list includes traits such as seeming confused; rocking back and forth; looks messy; and has trouble sleeping. All of these seem to fit stereotypes of aging, yet they can also be serious warning signs that something is wrong. Add to this any bruises or burns that cannot be explained, and you know you must act. However, not all abuse is physical. It can also be emotional, financial, or being neglected.

Let’s open our eyes to some of the elders around us who act oddly and who may very well be abused and need help. Try to have a private conversation with the elder to learn what is happening. If there is abuse, then guide them to where they can receive the proper assistance. This may be through an adult protective service, or a social service agency.

Are you being abused? Speak to your doctor, a help line, or a trusted friend to find help. Each of us deserves to live our age with dignity.

Bonnie Fatio

Age Esteem is “Being”

Are you present in the moment, or are you ruled by To Do Lists and self-imposed obligations?

I came across an e-zine that I had written three years ago.  “This is really good stuff”, I thought.  I pulled out another and another.

Did I really write these?  I know that I did, but they seemed to convey an authenticity that has been missing recently.

What has happened?  What am I doing differently today to make them less than they were?  Is it because of my health issues?  I have had several during the past three years.  Have I turned my passion into work?  I still love what I do.  Many questions bombarded me.

The answer came to me a couple days later as I was writing my To Do List. – I have become caught up in “doing” rather than “being”!

This revelation shook me up.  I had always prided myself in being drawn toward my vision rather than building it.  But here I was, several business mentors later, realizing that I was no longer being my genuine self and living the vision.  Instead, I was caught up in doing what must be done to build the vision.

You may say, “Of course you were.  That is how empires are made.”  But it is evident to me that I do not want to build an empire.  My vision is of a world where people of all ages are respected as valued members of society.

It is not an empire.  It is an attitude, a way of life that enhances lives around the globe.

I want to be a catalyst for this vision to positively transform the way we look at age.  It is a vision of dignity, respect and appreciation for the contribution and potential of each age, which is inclusive of all people.  This vision wants to be so strong that people begin to think, act and live the vision.

Yes!  For this I need to go back to “being” the vision.  Being means breathing, thinking, dreaming, feeling and vibrating the vision now.  It means being present in each moment.

I AM and I choose to BE.

Time will tell the difference this will make.  Oh, yes.  I will continue to “do” as well, but only as it relates to “being”.

How about you?

Bonnie Fatio