Do you find yourself complaining that time is racing, life is whizzing by? Stop! Why waste that precious time with complaints?

Often our complaints serve as a convenient scapegoat to another problem: lack of confidence and lack of age-esteem.

Here’s good news. You can begin to reinforce your confidence and age-esteem immediately.

Focus on your qualities. You have many.

• Pretend to be another person writing a recommendation for you. List your talents, skills and qualities. Be generous. Deep down inside you know you are talented. Keep the list where you can read it often and add to it regularly.
• Keep a journal of praise. Write down the praise you receive. No matter how minor it may seem, when someone praises you write their words in your journal. Copy praise received electronically or via the post into your journal. Refer to it as your confidence booster.
• Flash yourself a smile as you look in the mirror. Praise yourself on one of your qualities as though saying it to your best friend: “You organize great events!”

You will soon find that you accentuate the positive naturally while also increasing your age-esteem, and time becomes meaningful and fulfilling.

Bonnie Fatio

Cultivating confidence is easier than you think.

Stay connected! Did you know that older adults who are engaged socially will often extend their lives and their enjoyment of life by years?  Personal relationships and regular interactions with others can make a major difference in your self-esteem and confidence.

Do something different. By exposing yourself to a new context, you’re literally growing as you learn to act in new circumstances. Joining a group that shares a common interest makes life fun. Feeling helpful and needed often encourages the release of “good” hormones that help the body to fight off illness and disease while physically making us feel better.

Get out there and be confident, share your talents and passions with others!

This time of year has a magical way of adding a bit of spring to your step, so use these warmer days to grow your garden and take action in your age-esteem.

The Beauty of Older Women

“So much has been said and sung of beautiful young girls, why doesn’t somebody wake up to the beauty of old women?” – Harriet Beecher Stowe, American Abolitionist and Author

Harriet Beecher Stowe lived from 1811 to 1896. Her quote leads one to believe that very little has changed in the views toward aging, yet aging has transformed greatly during past years. We are healthier, more vital and remain engaged in life as older women. We live our ages with more confidence and age-esteem, and transcend a beauty that only we can bring.

Bonnie Fatio

Working Across Generations

One answer to working together across generations is Shared Intergenerational Leadership.

Why is this effective?

By working with others of diverse generations through sharing responsibilities, for instance leading a project, meeting or training, we learn how others function and think.

Rather than watch the other person perform in a way that annoys us, we are forced to open our mind. We have the natural opportunity to ask why they suggest something or prefer to work in a way that may seem foreign to us.

A personal incident that comes to mind took place when I was running an Intergenerational Dialogue at a Conference in Colombia with a young woman in her twenties from Trinidad Tobago. As we were discussing how notes would be recorded at each able she said, “They can also Tweet!”

My initial reaction was, “How rude!” Imagine people tweeting while you are sharing your idea. I am not proud to say that I missed this opportunity to sit on my mouth and to say nothing. However I did immediately ask further questions. I do, after all, tweet.

As a result, when we shared the leadership of this Intergenerational Dialogue I found myself encouraging participants to also tweet using the hash tag of the conference.

I learned something, the other person’s idea was valued, and it added to the richness of the dialogue process. Rather than trying to pigeonhole the other person into the characteristics of her generation, we each actively listened to the ideas of the other and acted together, sharing leadership intergenerationally. Each of us benefited in the process.

These experiences further enhance my own leadership style and confidence, and therefore my age esteem.

Bonnie Fatio

The New Retiree

The new retiree looks very little like the person who retired from her job a generation ago.

Besides being more actively engaged in life, there is another major difference.  The retired population now represents several generations.  Our lives last much longer.  To become 90 is not unusual.  To live to be 100 years of age is no longer so exceptional.  In Japan there are more than 50,000 centenarians.  The number of women centenarians doubles every 10 years.

This means that retirees cannot be viewed as one common group of people with common needs.  With as many as three generations represented among retirees our interests, concerns and outlook on life and death are very different.

As we live longer and interact with multiple generations who are both pre and post retirement age esteem becomes even more important.  Age esteem, feeling confident about ourselves as we age, is a necessary component to help us live our retirement years with a healthy and happy outlook.

Bonnie Fatio

Dr. Jen Palmer, 44, Florida

I love the term Age Esteem because it has such a positive image. I have always hated the term “anti-aging”, because it implies the natural process of aging is a negative event that should be avoided and fought against. That creates an unreasonable pressure to try to look younger than we are, and to even pretend we are younger than we are.

Personally, I believe we should embrace the gifts that come with getting older and consider life to be a great adventure. For me, every decade gets better and better! Age Esteem brings to mind confidence, wisdom and strength. The term is a great reminder as to how we should feel, at any age, especially as women.

My personal conerns? For the most part, I look forward to getting older because life gets better every year! I think as long as we have our mental and physical health, we can create a great quality of life for ourselves whether we are 30 or 80. So my biggest concerns would be losing my memory, or having difficulty walking, because those would present challenges (but not roadblocks) for living the kind of life that I imagine.

Jen's tips: My focus is on creating a lifestyle that promotes health for myself and my husband, while still enjoying some splurges here and there. We try to get a good dose of activity and exercise through the week, eat lots of veggies and whole foods, and take supplements. It’s all about balance and moderation. And have fun, because that keeps us youthful and positive about life.

We have plenty of inspiration because we live in an area of Florida that has a large senior population, and the majority of the people we meet are fit and happy. Every day, I see people in their 70s and 80s playing tennis, walking, and swimming- sometimes better and farther than I can! So my assumption is that I will be one of those happy, healthy seniors when the time comes, as long as I take care of myself.

Dr. Jen Palmer is a Naturopathic Doctor ProAgingLiving partnering with AgeEsteem. 

Dental Health

Your dental health is important at every age.  It influences how you feel physically. It also affects your confidence and age esteem.  You like to feel healthy and to smile without reserve.

Avoid brushing teeth less than a half hour after drinking orange juice or other acid drinks.  This makes the enamel less fragile.

As a toothbrush is not always available after eating, sugarless chewing gum is a good way to clean teeth temporarily.  Today chewing gums have whitening ingredients as well which can embellish your big happy smile.

Grandma Nature

May you love yourself at every age and stage of life, knowing that you are lovable and worthy of love.

May your love for others overflow into all areas of your life.

May you embrace all that comes your way with confidence and love.  

May love fill your heart today and every day of the year.

I love you!

Bonnie Fatio

Daniel Meylan, 76, Paris, France

Age esteem?  Esteem is already important alone.  With age it is even more important.  It is good to put them together.  We’re not so old.  We must continue to esteem ourselves and to care for ourselves well, not let ourselves go.

Daniel’s Tips:  I force myself not to let go of what I have always done.  I oblige myself to stay physically fit and to not be a vegetable.  I walk a lot.  A couple weeks ago I fell because I was racing to catch a bus.  It was a lesson.  I will not do that again.  It has taken me these weeks to recuperate my normal way of walking, which has to do with regaining confidence.

At present I have a problem.  If I don’t know people, I have a difficult time to carry on a conversation like I used to.  I am destabilized because I don’t find my words like I used to.  As a result I panic which makes it worse.  To improve this I am going to a coach specialized in helping me find the words that I have lost.  It is a long journey.  I completely stopped speaking at a certain point and now I am trying to recuperate the vocabulary I’ve lost.  I’ve also lost much of my English and my German.  Now I force myself to make conversation with others.  I actively engage in social occasions.

For the intellectual side I read books on the Middle Ages to learn about that era.  It is very difficult for me to concentrate, but I insist on doing it.  It is also another way to recuperate some of my words.

It’s also important to be with family, with the grandchildren regularly.

I go to a center for older people several times a week.  There is a woman there who is 100.  She manages to keep physically and mentally fit and is a strong role model for me.  She is well dressed.  I am considered someone who is still completely present.  I feel comfortable there but sometimes wonder why I go.  I am still completely independent which isn’t the case for most.  I get there and home by my own means.  I want to keep my autonomy.  It’s important for me.

We go there to live as well as possible as long as possible.  I am in the section that designs and paints in the morning and does gymnastics in the afternoon, though I am in much better physical form than the others.

I am strict with myself for all questions of remaining in shape.

Bonnie Fatio