The Blewfield Clan

What a wonderful time post retirement seems to be for the cousins at the reunion in Paducah.   Everyone seems to be developing or focusing on genuine  interests.  And varied they are!

• Suzanne, who still works part-time in a law office  is submersed in the family genealogy and can trace her branch back to the Mayflower several times.  She is now writing a book about it.
• Bill, who is a retired professor and Fullbright Scholar, lives with poetry and has one of the best poetry resources, www.unf.edu/mudlark/
• Doreen complements working part-time as a mentor to student teachers with her passion for theater and acting on the local stage.
• Don “recycled” to become a pastor and acts as interim minister to congregations.  He also lives his passion as a cookie creator at the local bakery.
• Rose and David sold their house and now live in a motor home to experience new places across the nation.  Rose is a writer and David a photographer and using these passions.
• Gerard focuses on renewable energy and is sought out as an expert to speak and advise.   He also volunteers on clean water projects in Africa.
• Jeanie continues to nurse ailing birds, something that she has always done and is not ready to leave.  She loves what she does.

And this is just part of the cousins!

It is never too early or too late to develop your interests and passion.  It is an important aspect of personal age-esteem to love what you do.  It is a real elixir to building confidence and feeling vital.

When I told friends we were headed to “Paducah”, they thought it was an exotic island or a joke.

Actually it is neither.  Paducah, Kentucky is hometown to two cousins.  We were going there to meet up with the Blewfield clan of cousins.   As children growing up in the Midwest, we spent a week each year with cousins in LaPorte, Indiana.  We swam, boated, had hamburger eating contests, and played from dawn til dark.  It was a highlight of summer.

Now 60 years later we still look forward to being together. The Cousin’s Reunion has become a tradition with a different person taking on the organization every two years.

This year a conversation revolved around benefits of being older.  –  Especially living our passions, investing time in work and activities we truly love and that build our confidence and age-esteem.

• We feel vibant and involved in new ways.
• People seek us out.  Our strengths are recognized and sought after.
• We are involved in amazing activities that give meaning to our lives.
• We are more tolerant and understanding, no longer sweating the small stuff.
• Our lives have greater perspective.

The average age of a first time grandparent in North America today is 48.

With today’s life expectancy being  78 in North America, (as opposed to 81.5 in Iceland and 41 in Zimbabwe) many of us may have 30 years or more of grandparenting ahead of us.   So  the question of how we want to fill the role of grandparent becomes an important one.

This is especially true since as today’s grandparents we are likely to be more educated than previous generations and also be active, self-confident with age-esteem and more globally aware.  We still have places to see and dreams to live.  Grand-parenting is just one role among many.

Nourishing Factors

What do you feed your body?  Do you nourish it, starve it, or overload it?

A balanced diet is essential to our age-esteem and self image.  An important aspect of how we feel about ourself, whether we lack energy and feel old or are alert and dynamic is the food we eat.

At a recent luncheon I attended  Dr. Margaret Chan, Director-General of the World Health Organization, emphasized the importance of eating healthfully to an audience of fairly affluent diners.  A trend that is influencing health in the 21st century is the globalization of unhealthy lifestyles.

We are dealing with excesses and deficiencies.   It isn’t because we have a full plate that it is not lacking in the nutrients that we need.  Add to this the men and women who starve themselves to be size 0 and who are depriving their bodies of necessary aliments.  Then on the other side we have the overweight and obese who are also missing the right nutrients even though they eat plenty.

When in doubt, add fruits, vegetables, lean meats and fish.  They are good for your health and nourish your age-esteem.

Babies and AgeEsteem

Celebrate Each Success

Celebrate each success: When Baby tries something new, even if she doesn’t succeed, you applaud her and celebrate.  You know that each new success builds on past efforts.  She begins to walk by trial and fall, and we cheer her each step of the way.

• Allow – and even encourage – yourself and others to test your abilities, make mistakes, and learn from them.
• Applaud errors as part of the learning process.
• Recognize and celebrate the smaller successes.  They are necessary building blocks to achieve your goals.

No, it’s never too early to model your own age-esteem for a child nor is  it ever too late to learn lessons of age-esteem from children!

Babies and AgeEsteem
Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

Make time to play: Children bring us back to the little wonders in life that we overlook as busy adults.   They teach us how to play again, to go barefoot in the grass.  As a result we use games and play to teach, create memories, and to bond with Baby.

• Loosen up and relax.  Take yourself less seriously.  Make time to admire the beauty and wonders life offers.
• Play with children and animals.  Be silly; have fun.
• Find ways to ‘play’ with colleagues, family and friends in order to understand and enjoy each other on a different level.  Play helps us to bond.

Play is an important ingredient to building confidence and age-esteem.

Body Clock Is Ticking Faster – And Still No Right Partner

What To Do?

Enlist your friends and family: Let your friends and family help you.  Sure, you’ll meet some frogs… but you may meet your prince..ess…  (No reason for all frogs worth kissing to be men!)  I know, it takes courage as well as confidence and age-esteem to do this, but you have to act on your goal.

• Ask your friends to help you.  And don’t be shy about sharing the values and qualities Right Partner must share with you.
• Accept to meet the person who they want to introduce with them.  Double date with the friends who set you up or go out with a group of friends.   Be game to try something new like riding a Segway through the city…
• Find out how others have met.  It can lead to new avenues of ideas.  –  It may be worth testing a dating service or to join chat rooms on line.

Body Clock Is Ticking Faster – And Still No Right Partner

Meet New People

Get out and about: Keep active.  Plan time in your schedule to meet new people and to attend events.

• You’ve envisioned Partner Right.  Where would this person be apt to spend time?  Go where this person would go. If you want to find someone with an interest in art, attend shows.  If music is  important attend concerts, join a choir.
• Mix with others at these events.  Commit yourself to speak with three new people at each event.  Strike up a conversation and learn about the other people in a group.  Be genuinely interested in what they say.  Not only will they find you interesting as a result, but others in the room are more apt to notice you.  It will also reinforce your confidence and age-esteem.

Body Clock Is Ticking Faster – And Still No Right Partner.
What To Do?

Define “Partner Right”: This is the person you will commit to and who would be the parent of your children.  Research your own heart and mind to know what kind of person you want to share your life.

• Seriously think about your own values.  What is most important to you?  Write these values where you can see them regularly.
• What qualities and values are important for this person to share?  You want to share mutual respect with this person and be proud to raise children together.  What qualities and values are essential for this?
• Make a vision board to represent Partner Right.  Use pictures, words and objects such as an opera ticket or invitation to an event, anything that represents an aspect of the ideal person.  The goal is to picture the interests, values and personality as well as any important physical qualities.  Keep this vision board where you see it.   Add to it, and refer to it regularly.  Imprint it in your mind.

Now step out with personal confidence and age-esteem knowing that you and Partner Right will find each other.

What To Do?

So how do you keep your confidence and age-esteem while feeling that age is placing a barrier in front of you?  How do you manage to meet the right partner? – The person with whom you can share mutual respect, trust, support, encouragement, laughter and love?

Take your time: Don’t rush.  A lasting relationship doesn’t just happen.  It develops, and there are stages in that development.  Just as a baby needs to turn over, sit and crawl before it can walk, we need to move forward one step at a time.  It begins with eye contact, moving into the other’s space, and yes even holding hands.  And it happens over a period of time.  It’s still good advice to know someone for a year before making a commitment.  If this is the right partner, it’s a good investment.