The Beauty of Older Women

“So much has been said and sung of beautiful young girls, why doesn’t somebody wake up to the beauty of old women?” – Harriet Beecher Stowe, American Abolitionist and Author

Harriet Beecher Stowe lived from 1811 to 1896. Her quote leads one to believe that very little has changed in the views toward aging, yet aging has transformed greatly during past years. We are healthier, more vital and remain engaged in life as older women. We live our ages with more confidence and age-esteem, and transcend a beauty that only we can bring.

Bonnie Fatio

Robyn Simon, 67, Blue Mountains of Australia

What is Age Esteem?   If you’re talking about ladies, I think a woman should be confident to be herself at every stage of her life and especially as she matures to have an understanding of how she presents herself to the outside world based on her own belief in herself and not that dictated by fashion, culture or status.  To realize that I can say from my life that the more mature you get, in actual fact in your own outrageous or quiet way the more outrageous you can be.

It’s an interesting word, esteem, and I think sometimes it is hard won.  The situations around us put us down and make us feel small and I think this is where the community of other women can really support us.  I think that Age Esteem can start at any stage of life from the youngest person to the most mature.

My greatest concern is the lack of physical flexibility and strength.  I feel that because I’m taking care of supplementation and diet and I have relatively good genes with aging I’m intending not to lose my flexibility and strength , but it is one of my concerns.  I’ve been crippled with arthritis and I’m looking after my eyesight but I would be very concerned to lose the faculty of eye sight.  My concern would be to lose the facility to have continuing new adventures in life.  I would not like to lose that.  And yes, a practical concern and a very valid one for most women of the world is to have enough finances to maintain my life in a relatively comfortable manner, and especially to have enough finance to move and to travel a bit.  I think that is very important to me.

Robyn’s Tips:  Stay in the present as much as possible and do not dwell in the past.  Do not live with regret mulling over negative things that may have happened in the past.  Keep your mind in the present as much as possible.

I think that Spiritual development and training is very important to well being because if you train your mind not to sweat the small stuff.  Sweating the small stuff is occupying your mind with criticism, hatred, or all things that can pull a person down.

It is very helpful for a woman to be sure that she has younger friends in her life.  I think you need to have a large spectrum in associations.  I actually went back to work in a spa industry that does massages and beauty treatments and facials and most of the young ladies who worked with me were between the ages of 19 and 25.  That’s one of the best things I’ve done.  I also love spending time with younger men.  Some of the greatest actresses in the world made it very clear that you should have young men around you.  Their energy, all they exude, their presence, I think it is helpful and important.  And I think that a lot of European ladies have known that for a long time.

Also diet.  There is a lot of knowledge out there now for how to look after your physical body that’s reasonable.

Robyn Simon, specialist in aromatic medicine, www.mydoterra.com/robynsimon

Suzanne Durham, 64, Alabama, U.S.A.

I love the positive spin that was put on Age Esteem, because now that I’ve become one of those older women I realize some of the bias and negative words that are out there like the Senior Citizen’s Club and those kinds of things.  So I love Age Esteem.  I immediately went to my own age; I went personal first.  I went to my own age of being 64, soon to be 65, and I thought that was a very positive way to frame my own issues around age.

My own concerns?  Personally I’ve noticed over the last couple years a loss of energy.  I get tired easier.  Although I still consider myself energetic and I do have some vitality, I have noticed a little bit of decline in energy and my job doesn’t allow that.  So I get tired and a little weary.  I’m also incredibly blessed to have extremely good health.  I’ve never had any diseases.  I had gastric bypass six years ago and I’ve lost 100 pounds.  I did that 6 years ago to get my energy back because I noticed that my weight was just really sapping my energy.  I was 245 pounds and lost to 145 and am now about 160.

Now I have some extra skin and sometimes ask myself, “Shall I have a tummy tuck or chin tuck?”  I always say that you can’t tell how old black women are because they have that great oil in their skin; and you can’t tell how old a fat woman is because of all the cellulite.  There is an advantage to cellulite in some places.

Suzanne’s tips:  Take care of yourself.  Exercise.  Do all the things we say to do to remain physically healthy.  I think you need to be mentally healthy as well.  You need to find that thing that brings you happiness and joy and that brings you spiritual energy and spiritual joy.  It goes back to finding the passion in your life that gives you spiritual energy.  It is important to stay active both physically and mentally.  I’m a former PE (physical education)  teacher so I’ve taught activity and I beat myself up mentally fairly often because I’m not as physically active as I know I should be.  I don’t always get that mile walk in every day that I try to.

Know your body.  Know the signs and symptoms and pay attention.  Pay attention to your mental well being as well as your spiritual health and your physical health.  Pay attention to your body.

Suzanne Durham is CEO of YWCA of Central Alabama, Birmingham, Alabama

Pauline Mawaka in her interview (see March 21, 2010) referred to several secrets to her own AgeEsteem.

• Purpose: When she retired she began the Senior Women Citizens for Change in Kenya to combat the violence against older women.
• Passion:  She lives her passion for helping women.    “Women encourage me, so I keep my energy.”
• Control:  Pauline says, “I control my own life.   I control my thoughts and my body.”
• Sing:  Do something that you love, that lightens your heart.
• Reach out:  Pauline’s purpose is directed towards “shaking the world”, and bettering the lives of Kenyan women.
• Social contact:  She has regular interaction with others through her singing and work.
• Spirituality:  “Knowing that God loves me” makes it possible for her to continue despite difficult situations.