All Saints Day is a time to remember and honor those who have gone before us.  In some countries it is also celebrated as Halloween.  Whatever we call it, it is a day to celebrate the lives of those relatives, friends, role models and mentors who are no longer with us.  It is a wonderful reminder that we will each live on in multiple ways long after our death.

It also reminds us that how we live our lives and reach out to others is precious. Who are the people you remember and celebrate today?  They are most probably those who touched your life through what they said and did rather than what they had.

Age esteemers greet each day as an opportunity to make a positive difference in the life of others. – A smile, encouragement, listening, reaching out a hand…  It takes very little to positively affect the  life of someone else.

Bonnie Fatio

In June of this year Dr. John Beard, Director of the World Health Organisation’s (WHO) Department on Aging and Life Courses, announced the launch of the Global Network of Age-friendly Cities.

Research from 33 cities, confirmed the importance for older people of access to public transport, outdoor spaces and buildings, as well as the need for appropriate housing, community support and health services and the need to foster the connections that allow older people to be active participants in society, to overcome ageism and to provide greater opportunities for civic participation and employment.

This is aligned with the vision of AgeEsteem of “a society where people of all ages are respected as contributing members of society”.   I was privileged to meet with Dr. Beard following my talk on Age Esteem at the WHO headquarters in Geneva last month to discuss our common concerns around issues of aging.  Very energizing and encouraging.

Bonnie Fatio

An Australian study tells us that people who give priority to their partner and children above professional success are happier in life.  Bruce Headey, Associate Professor at the University of Melbourne indicates that focusing on one’s social success and material belongings can actually stand in the way of greater satisfaction in life.

Your choice of partner is also important.  The study shows that women are most happy when their partners participate in family life.

Not enough people actually sit down to ask themselves what makes them happy and then do what they can to make their lives happier. So ask yourself

• What makes me happy?
• How can I build more of this into my life?

And then act on your answers!

Bonnie Fatio

Diane Smith, 53

What is Age Esteem?  When I first saw Bonnie Fatio,s book AgeEsteem: Growing A Positive Attitude Toward Aging I thought it was about aging.  I thought it’s going to tell me how to age gracefully and this it great!

What I worry most about aging is aches and pains.  I’ve never been sick a day in my life, but when I turned 50 I started feeling some aches and pains and that’s one of my concerns.  And you know I look in the mirror and I see wrinkles and I start buying eye creams and stuff.  I have beauty products to prevent aging.  The reason is that it’s probably been on my mind since I was 25.  I’m a believer in prevention.
Diane’s tips:  I stay active.  I have friends.  I love working in my garden.  I feel good working in the garden.  I’m strong enough to do things and have the energy.  I feel  good.   I have a cup of coffee every morning.  I read my Bible every day.  It gives me inspiration and I look at my life and I look at where I’ve been and where I am now and I’m thankful.  I thank God.  If God doesn’t bless me with anything else, I’m blessed.  Yes, I’m totally blessed.  I have a lot of great friends.  I have a wonderful husband whose a good friend.  That makes it easy.  I have a daughter.  I have grandchildren.  I carry their picture around and when I look at them I think what a wonderful blessing.  I’m just thankful for what I have and I don’t worry about what I don’t have.

Do you choose how you act or react when an unexpected situation arises? – or – Do you normally accept the situation and suffer the consequences?

Your happiness may depend on how you answered.

In a recent publication of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, they presented a study run over 25 years in Australia which shows that happiness is based on choice and the life goals that each of us sets.  Happiness is greater for those who know how to choose than it is among those who simply accept life as it happens.

We may not be able to change what happens, but we can choose how we react to what happens.

Bonnie Fatio

Happy World Teacher’s Day

What better way to follow “Words of Encouragement” than to give tribute to teachers.

Each of us has one or several teachers who have encouraged and inspired us.  They did it out of love and dedication to teaching and to helping us become smarter and confident in our own knowledge.  Most often teachers have to be satisfied with their own estimate of how well they did their job.  We were not over zealous in letting them know that we appreciated what they taught us or in telling them what we have done with our education.  But it is never too late.

Today is the ideal occasion to write a note of gratitude to a former or present teacher.  Formal education is a blessing that not everyone enjoys.  Search out your teachers on face book and through former classmates.  Make today a day of thanks for teachers.

Bonnie Fatio

Age Esteemers speak to themselves and others with words to encourage.  They grow confidence, skills and knowledge in others as part of their legacy.  They recognize their role as mentors and support and encourage others of all ages.  They share their own expertise and experience of living with openness and love.  They are eager to encourage as they help others to develop their qualities.

• Catch someone doing something new, challenging or difficult and support and encourage them.
• Revise and devise your vocabulary to give others a boost in confidence and to help them recognize what they do well.
• Look on encouragement as an opportunity to reach out to others as a mentor and guide.  You, too, will learn in the process.

Bonnie Fatio

Age Esteemers take responsibility for their own happiness.  They know that no one else can make you happy.  Riches cannot make you happy.  You are responsible for your happiness.

There is a lovely saying, « If you want to be happy, just be happy! »  It is as easy as that.  Happiness depends on you.  If you want to be happy, decide to be happy.  Curl up the corners of your mouth.  Put a smile on your face and look up.  It will change your whole perspective.

• Practice smiling.  Smile at yourself in the mirror.  Smile at people you meet.  Smile just for the pleasure of smiling, and see what happens.
• Smile when you wake up in the morning, even before you open your eyes; and make it the last thing you do at night before you drift off to sleep.
• Look for the happiness around you; look for the humor in the day.

Bonnie Fatio

People with age esteem recognize that they have choices, that they are masters of their own life.  They may not be able to control what happens to them all of the time or even most of the time, but they take control over how they act or react to what happens.

Age esteemers know they can choose to see what happens as an opportunity or as a catastrophe.  They can choose to be a victim, or they can choose to take action to move beyond the problem, to learn from it and benefit from it.

• Decide that you will become a can do, will do person who takes control.
• Look for the opportunity inside a difficulty.
• Remind yourself that you are in control.

Bonnie Fatio

Do you have an attitude of gratitude?

People with Age Esteem express gratitude.  Age Esteemers know the importance of not only feeling thankful, but also expressing appreciation and gratitude for what they have and what others do for them.  They choose to recognize the blessings of each day, no matter how great or small.

• Keep a gratitude diary where you record the highlights of each day for which you are grateful.
• Count your blessings when things seem difficult.  Remind yourself of all the good that surrounds you while you deal with a problem.
• Express openly to others your gratitude for what they mean to you.

Bonnie Fatio