My wish to you on this Valentine’s Day is that you be your own Valentine and love yourself as much as you love others.  Be your own Valentine this year!

Bonnie Fatio

Who are your Valentines?  Who do you love?  Who is important to you?

Valentine’s Day offers a unique occasion to take stock of who matters to you. –  And what a joyous opportunity to express your feelings.

Whether you purchase cards or create your own personalized messages specific to each of your Valentines, they are certain to be appreciated.

• Make a list of the people who matter to you and perhaps some who you may know less well but who need a lift.  Include people of all ages.  Many are lonely.
• Select your Valentine cards or simply cut out a heart in colored paper and write a message on it, or make a collage like the one above.
• Add your own special message expressing why the person is special to you.
• If you don’t have enough time to prepare Valentines, why not phone each person and let them hear the message directly from you.

It may surprise you to discover what a boost it can be to your own age esteem and positive attitude as you do this to make others feel good.

Bonnie Fatio

Bonnie Fatio spoke to the Paying Forward Club in the Tuscany Falls Ballroom at Pebble Creek, Arizona.  People in the Paying Forward Club give of their time and talents in multiple ways.  They also provide a list of places in need of volunteers.  Bonnie’s talk was on the theme  “Aging and the benefits of volunteering”, sharing research, stories, tips and techniques with active audience participation.

“After hearing Bonnie whatever I look at, I’m going to look at it in a positive way.  I think at our age we can look at the people in our life and say “I don’t need that person in my life anymore.”  That gives us power.   It was wonderful to hear Bonnie.  She really spoke to me. Ginette, 63

“I’m going through a rough transition.  I’ve recently retired and I feel like I have this whole part of life ahead of me.  I’m not sure what I want to do with that.  Bonnie’s talk was a good motivator and inspiration that has given me a lot to think about.” Grace, 58

“We get such negative thoughts on a daily basis… bombarded with what a “bad time” this is. I really identified with Bonnie, especially where she said to replace the negative thoughts I have with something positive.  I think all of us are guilty of being self-critical, but it’s time we divested ourselves of that language and replace it with something else.” Carol, 65

Each day of this new year will bring new opportunities and experiences to be experienced and savored.

Do you look forward to each day?

One of my favorite AgeEsteem mentors and friends was Doris Blunt.  Doris was a woman of amazing inner faith and strength.  She always seemed to be bubbling over with happiness and interest.  Yet she had buried two husbands, both of whom she had accompanied through Alzheimer’s in their last years.

When I asked Doris how she remained so enthusiastic and happy she offered me the following secrets to her happiness.

• When you wake up in the morning you have choices.  You can listen to the birds and give thanks for the day as a new blessing and get up to greet the day or you can lie in bed and feel bitter about your aches and pains.  She chose the first.
• Remind yourself that whether you have a good day or a bad day depends on you and the attitude that you bring to it.  She brought a positive attitude which began when she first awoke.
• Decide what your purpose for the day is.  Doris was the sunshine of the home where she lived, so she always put on her sunniest smile when she left her room.  She said that although her smile was not always genuine when she put it on, it definitely became real by the time she met another person.  In fact her smile became infectious.  Others returned it!

These are simple yet powerful pointers for each of us to enhance our age esteem and positive attitudes to live happier lives.  Let’s look forward to each day!

Bonnie Fatio

Paul Ernest Charles Mastromatteo, 55,born in Toronto, Canada; naturalized US citizen

My first thought when I hear AgeEsteem is esteem, how you feel about yourself.  So when I hear Age Esteem I overlap that with age and self.  I take it as how you feel about yourself regardless of the age you are.  Age is first older, like aging.  I think if a person has age esteem they feel good about themselves whether they’re young and lively or older and spry.

With respect to aging there is always the issue of how you maintain your health because things happen at 50 that generally don’t happen when you’re 20.  You want to be sure that things are ok.  I mean, we all kind of plan on having an average life span, but not all of us get there.  It gets a little more complicated when you get to midlife, two thirds life and so on.  So that’s a concern, and sometimes you wonder about what would happen if I got arthritis or something and couldn’t swim or run or walk as much as I used to. – Just the simple everyday things.  These things become more possible as you get older and you have to be mindful of them.

Paul’s tips: I’ve always been pretty good about trying to stay fit.  I can’t say the same for this year; it’s kind of fallen off but I hope to get back to it.  I’ve been a runner and a swimmer for most of my life.  Whether it’s my metabolism or what, I’ve never really changed weight and that’s not something most people can say.  That might be more of a blessing than anything else.  I think that staying active is a good thing to do;  it has helped me stay in shape.  I like to think that I can still do a lot of things that I did when I was younger, I’m  just not as fast.

I would say it’s important to be balanced.  Keep your mind and your body active.  Be open to learning new things.  It’s kind of easy to say “I’m a certain age and will never be able to learn a new language”.  I heard recently one of the best ways to keep your mind active is to learn a new language.  It keeps your brain growing and developing.  Just staying close to people you care about.  Make sure you stay in touch.  It’s easy today with the internet, Skype, and everything.  So take advantage of those things. You can be in touch with someone every day who is thousands of miles away.  Not like in the old days of pen and pencil.  That’s meant a lot to me.

Paul Mastromatteo is presently completing his MBA at Thunderbird University.

Bonnie Fatio

I’m not sure who wrote this; I received it from a girl friend over the internet.  We know that friends are precious at all ages and are important for our Age Esteem,  but this also has a special message for you men. – Marriage is good for your health!

“I just finished taking an evening class at Stanford.  The last lecture was on the mind-body connection – the relationship between stress and disease. The speaker (head  of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman whereas for a  woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends.

At first everyone laughed, but he was serious.

Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality “girlfriend time” helps us to create more serotonin – a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being.  Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities.  They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going. Jobs? Yes. Sports? Yes. Cars? Yes. Fishing, hunting, golf? Yes.  But their feelings? Rarely.

Women do it all of the time. We share from our souls with our sisters/mothers, and evidently that is very good for our health.  He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym.

There’s a tendency to think that when we are “exercising” we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged—not true. In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking!

So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health! We are indeed very, very lucky. Sooooo, let’s toast to our friendship with our girlfriends. Evidently it’s very good for our health.”

Inter-generational friendships are also important for our Age Esteem.

Bonnie Fatio

This year instead of making New Year’s resolutions, why not make a promise to yourself?

A promise is so much more powerful than a resolution.  Resolutions are usually statements about what we will not do.  We look back and try to correct our behaviors.  A promise is focused on realizing something that we want to do.  It is proactive and positive.

I challenge you to set a date with yourself with the goal of focusing on your dreams and passions.  What would you like to do in 2011?

• Is there a dream that you have tucked away and tried to forget?  Allow it to surface in your thinking and promise yourself to realize it in 2011.
• Do you have a passion that you have been smothering?  Release that passion and promise yourself to act on it in 2011.
• Are you wondering what your passion or dream is?  Ask yourself this question.  “If I knew I could not fail, if I could only succeed, what would I be doing now?”  Listen closely to your answer and promise yourself to bravely embrace that passion or dream and make it real.

2011 will become the year that you make it become.  Promise yourself to live your passion and realize your dream.  It is never too late, but only you can make it happen.  Start today and shine with Age Esteem in 2011!

Bonnie Fatio

Are you tired of society’s relentless negative talk about age and aging?

Would you like to feel more confident at any age despite a few wrinkles and lack of energy?

Would you like to know some secrets to Age Esteem that you can practice immediately?

Would you like to start the new year with a meaningful promise to yourself, and make 2011 your year of “Aging with Pizzazz?”

Listen when Bonnie Fatio is interviewed by Sandra Haymon of Baby Boomers Sandwich on Tuesday 28 December at 6pm MST.

Listen and/or join the chat room at www.BlogTalkRadio.com/sandra-haymon.

Home alone for Christmas?  This blessed Christmas season can be a lonely one for many of us.  This becomes especially true as we mature and our children leave home, marry and have their own families and traditions.  Not everyone can travel long distances to be together.

If you are going to be alone, why not create some new traditions of your own?  Age Esteemers know that when you are reaching out to others, you no longer feel lonely.  Why not plan some activities like these?

• Find out if help is needed at the local soup kitchen for the hungry, reading the Christmas Story to people in the hospital, or distributing gifts to the poor.  Most churches and communities have programs like these.
• Search out others of all ages who might be alone and organize Carol singing on Christmas eve followed by hot chocolate and conversation, a homemade or white elephant gift exchange, or party to play board games.
• Bake cookies or candy or make candles or decorations that you can wrap and deliver to people who you know will not be able to leave their homes.  Your visit when you deliver your gift will be precious.  It may prove to be the greatest gift.
• Plan to phone three people each day to wish them Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas or simply to let them know you are thinking of them.  Include people who will also be alone as well as family and friends.

Share your vitality and joy for living, your age esteem.  Even if you have to pretend to feel happy when you begin to reach out to others, before you know it your happiness will be genuine!

Bonnie Fatio

Galerie Chausse-Coq
presents an exposition of watercolors by
Helen Drew
with the participation of
Madame Zita Burgy
7 december – 23 december 2010
Vernissage the 9 december from 6pm.
Galerie Chausse-Coq
Arcade rue Chausse-Coq 16
1204 Geneva, Switzerland
www.helendrew.com

Helen Drew is a friend and model of Age Esteem.  I hope many of you will be able to view her work.

Bonnie Fatio