Age Esteem is “Being”

Are you present in the moment, or are you ruled by To Do Lists and self-imposed obligations?

I came across an e-zine that I had written three years ago.  “This is really good stuff”, I thought.  I pulled out another and another.

Did I really write these?  I know that I did, but they seemed to convey an authenticity that has been missing recently.

What has happened?  What am I doing differently today to make them less than they were?  Is it because of my health issues?  I have had several during the past three years.  Have I turned my passion into work?  I still love what I do.  Many questions bombarded me.

The answer came to me a couple days later as I was writing my To Do List. – I have become caught up in “doing” rather than “being”!

This revelation shook me up.  I had always prided myself in being drawn toward my vision rather than building it.  But here I was, several business mentors later, realizing that I was no longer being my genuine self and living the vision.  Instead, I was caught up in doing what must be done to build the vision.

You may say, “Of course you were.  That is how empires are made.”  But it is evident to me that I do not want to build an empire.  My vision is of a world where people of all ages are respected as valued members of society.

It is not an empire.  It is an attitude, a way of life that enhances lives around the globe.

I want to be a catalyst for this vision to positively transform the way we look at age.  It is a vision of dignity, respect and appreciation for the contribution and potential of each age, which is inclusive of all people.  This vision wants to be so strong that people begin to think, act and live the vision.

Yes!  For this I need to go back to “being” the vision.  Being means breathing, thinking, dreaming, feeling and vibrating the vision now.  It means being present in each moment.

I AM and I choose to BE.

Time will tell the difference this will make.  Oh, yes.  I will continue to “do” as well, but only as it relates to “being”.

How about you?

Bonnie Fatio

GO! 

Yesterday you learned to use your internal STOP sign to eliminate negative thoughts and expressions in order to grow our age esteem.

Let’s take it a step further.  It isn’t enough to simply stop our negative thoughts.  We need to also replace them with something positive.  A positive thought or expression is uplifting and moves us forward.  Negatives are like weights that hold us down.

Now that you have used your STOP sign to eliminate negatives that creep into your language, it is time to replace those negative words and expressions with positive thoughts and words.  Just as the streetlights turn from stop to go, so will your thoughts.

• Each time you catch yourself using a negative expression such as “I can’t”, STOP!
• Now GO! Transform your words to make them positive.  “I could never learn to use these new fangled phones” becomes “I will learn to use my new phone’s multiple possibilities”.
• GO! with your new positive vocabulary until it becomes second nature.

You will soon find that you have a whole new attitude that enhances your age esteem and your life will become happier.

Bonnie Fatio

Attitude Is Everything

 What kind of day this will be is up to me.  I can lie in bed when I wake up in the morning and tune into all my aches and pains and any regrets I might wish to conger up. – And the flavor of my day has been set.

I can also put a smile on my face as I awaken and rejoice in the yet undiscovered wonders of this new day. – And the flavor of my day has also been set.

Age esteemers will choose the second scenario.  They know that attitude makes the difference.  You decide what kind of day you want and you make it happen through your attitude.  You control the flavor of your day.

 Bonnie Fatio

Silvia Glatthard, 80, Swiss

Age Esteem is how you should try to manage your age.  How to deal with your age.  You should take aging as a normal thing.  It is natural to become old and older.  You should not do anything to go against that.  Accept it and just be happy and be thankful all the time.  I try to be like that and I am.

Silvia’s Tips:  Attitude.  This is my nature.  My mother had the same spirit. Just go along and make the most out of every day each day and be happy.  I have good friends.  Where I live everybody knows me.  When I go around everyone call outs to me.  The other side is that everybody knows everything about everyone else, but I don’t mind that.

Anandi Smith, 23, British & Nepalese

Age Esteem is definitely a positive message on how you deal with getting older.  It’s for all different ages.  When I hear the word it’s not just based on older people or younger people.  It’s for all ages.  You don’t lose your esteem simply because you get older, provided you have esteem.

Anandi’s Tips: I think mainly is to have good role models in people around you.  Obviously the media tells us that you’ve got to be young; old is bad.  I study the media all the time and they put this picture in your head of what you have to be.  No one really celebrates being older.  There also seems to be a gap.  It’s  good to be 25 and then you’re respected after you’re 40 but that gap in between is not celebrated.  You have all these expectations:  You have to have a boy friend, to get married, to have kids and a career.  There seems to be no celebration of this in between age, especially as a woman.  For example, if men haven’t gotten married in that time, their main focus is on their career.   If you’re a woman and have a good career at 25 you still aren’t fulfilled until you’ve ticked all the other boxes.  But then once you’re 40 you are old enough to be respected because of your age.

I look at my mom who just turned 50 this year and I can see that her peak in career is actually now.   Mine is just beginning and is just as exciting as hers, but I can see that the older she’s getting the more clever and intelligent she’s getting.  She’s wired.  Her career is moving.  I respect my grandma a lot.  She is on fire.  She knows everything that’s going on in the world.  She was one of the first teachers in the northeast region (England) that taught computers and she was very career ridden,  which in those days for a woman was quite strange.

I’ve been surrounded by older women that made me think positively about getting older.  I do have girl friends who are younger than me and I learn from them as well.  Their generation is different from mine.  They’re quicker than I am.  You can bounce off ideas and experiences with other people who have a whole different knowledge.  But role models for me are generally older than me.  There are lots of women who I want to be like when I reach their age.  I want to have their attitude and their energy.

As grandparents we try hard not to spoil our grandchildren with “things”.  Instead, we offer them endless unconditional love, educational experiences, happy memories filled with fun and adventure.   As much as we laugh together and play together, we remain their grandparents.  This is important for their age esteem as much as it is for ours.

Recent studies at Yale University, USA and the National Institute on Aging in the USA show that the attitude that children have towards aging influences how they feel about age when they become older.  This means that our attitude towards our own age is an important factor for our little ones later in their lives as well as today.

In order to offer unconditional love to our grandchildren, we must love ourselves unconditionally.  This indicates that we love ourselves at the age we are and celebrate ourselves as well as our grandchildren.   Children feel this sincerity and what we get in return are

• lopsided hugs and sticky kisses,
• pet names that only a child could chose,
• questions and statements that melt our hearts,
• a chance to rediscover life through new eyes, and
• the privilege of knowing we are important in very unique and important ways to our grandchildren.

Age esteem is the perfect gift for every occasion.

Why is it that when someone says “sex” our ears perk up, and when someone says “age” we tend to tune out?

Actually sex and age have a lot in common.

• Both are three letter words.
• How you relate to each of them is dependent on your attitude.
• Your attitude toward each depends in great part on the attitude of your environment, what you were raised to believe.
• What you get out of sex and out of age is influenced by what you put into each.
• You control how you live with both your age and with sex.

Having an intimate relationship can improve your health and longevity.  – Just be sure to practice safe sex.

A Gem Of A Business

I’m always delighted to discover AgeEsteemed Businesses.  Denise’s Beachway Cafe* in Bradenton, Forida is such a place.  Although we were only in the area for a week, we ate there three times.  The food was delicious and the environment welcoming – and full of AgeEsteem.

• Welcoming for all ages:  50 plus customers, grandparents with grandchildren, business people and small groups of friends of all ages.
• Staff of multiple ages with most being 50 plus who love doing just what they do.  In fact, Denise told me « I hire them for their smile and attitude. –  I can teach anyone the mechanics of the job ».
• Family atomosphere.  Staff call many customers by name, asking about their families and activites. (Giving your name to sign up for a table probably helps.)  Many sign in on their own   We saw one regular customer scrub his hands and help put utensils together with napkins after he had paid his bill.  Another was paying for past meal bills that had been held for him.
• Even when the place is packed with people waiting for tables, the racing waitresses still manage a genuine smile and welcome.  And….
• The food is good and within most budgets since you can eat for under $10 even after adding on the tip.

Thank you, Denise, for showing the way to other small business owners.  You have a gem of a business, full of AgeEsteem.

*Denise’s Beachway Café, 7224 Manatee Ave. W, West Bradenton, Florida.

This is based entirely on my own personal experience.

Home Alone

Are you alone for the holidays?  It happens more frequently to us as we get older.  Loved ones have died.  Family is far away.

There are two ways to look at being home alone for the holidays.  First is to feel alone and lonely.  If that is your case, then take control.  Tune into your AgeEsteem.  Shake out of your lonliness by inviting others in.

• Attend holiday programs and services.  Many offer a pick-up service.  Or invite a friend who drives to accompany you.
• Invite other singles to your home for some holiday cheer.  Some may feel as lonely as you.
• Organize an event with neighborhood children.  It can be as simple as hot chocolate and a story.  Parents will be pleased to have some free time for their own preparations.
• Volunteer in a soup kitchen or shelter.
• Dress up as Santa Claus or Mrs. Claus and visit neighbors to deliver homemade cookies.

The second way to look at being home alone for the holidays is to see it as being with yourself.  You are in your own company and able to enjoy the time by yourself.  Plan activities that relate to the holidays.

• Watch The Christmas Story.
• Listen to your favorite holiday music.
• Get out your photo albums and renew the joys of past holidays.
• Begin a journal of happy memories of holidays past.
• Make yourself a special meal and savor it.

Being home alone can be peaceful, joyous and loving.   Let your AgeEsteem attitude shine through and enjoy!

Abundance Is An Attitude

Each of us has potential that can be freed by looking at the abundance and goodness around us.  When we lighten our lives by seeing the fortune that we have we are not only happier and more confident, we also become a magnet for others.  There is a goodness in abundance which creates more goodness and more abundance.  Look around you.  The abundance is there.

AgeEsteem is acknowledging our abundance.

1.  Interview people around you who are of different generations.

• What are they most thankful for?
• Do they have a habit of giving thanks daily?  How?
• If so, when did they begin this habit?
• How do they benefit from their daily thanksgiving?

2.  Do you see a difference between the attitude of those who give thanks regularly and those who do not?
3.  Now, interview yourself using the same questions.
4.  Taking all your interviews into consideration, do you see a correlation between people giving thanks, and feeling good about themselves at the age they are today?
5.  Share your experience by leaving a comment or mailing Bonnie.Fatio@AgeEsteem.com.