Who is most present in your life?  Who is always there for you?  Who is your best friend?

The heart drawn in the sand has no name in it.  It is waiting for the name of your best friend.  You probably have answered the questions with the name of someone near and dear to you.  Most of us have.

I challenge you to look at the heart differently though, and answer the questions with your own name.  –  Because you are the most important person in your life.  And before others can fully appreciate and love you, and before you can truly love someone else, you need to love yourself.

You are the one constant in your life, the one person who is always with you.  No matter where you go, there you are!

Make this Valentine month a time of reconnecting with yourself, enhancing your age esteem, appreciating your qualities, and lighting your life with love that begins within you, for you!

Bonnie Fatio

Who are your Valentines?  Who do you love?  Who is important to you?

Valentine’s Day offers a unique occasion to take stock of who matters to you. –  And what a joyous opportunity to express your feelings.

Whether you purchase cards or create your own personalized messages specific to each of your Valentines, they are certain to be appreciated.

• Make a list of the people who matter to you and perhaps some who you may know less well but who need a lift.  Include people of all ages.  Many are lonely.
• Select your Valentine cards or simply cut out a heart in colored paper and write a message on it, or make a collage like the one above.
• Add your own special message expressing why the person is special to you.
• If you don’t have enough time to prepare Valentines, why not phone each person and let them hear the message directly from you.

It may surprise you to discover what a boost it can be to your own age esteem and positive attitude as you do this to make others feel good.

Bonnie Fatio

Beans, beans, the magical food; the more you eat the better your mood…

…. for your body will profit in many ways and you will feel great.  There are various types of beans – red kidney beans, white navy beans, green lima beans, brown lentils – and all are available in all parts of the world.  The beans, as opposed to string beans, are dried and have to be soaked before cooking, usually overnight.

They contain many nutrients and they have very little fat and thus no cholesterol.  Dried beans contain a lot of protein and can be substituted for meat or other high protein foods.  They regulate sugar in the blood and are important in controlling cardio-vascular conditions such as high blood pressure.   As they are very inexpensive, they can be eaten often and can be prepared in many different ways to vary meals.

Grandma Nature

AU CINEMA February 2011

Very Good ***  Good**

You will note several foreign films among these.  Watching them in their original language will stimulate your brain neurons, good for your age esteem.

Another Year ***1/2   Mike Leigh of England makes films about ordinary people and here he depicts a very happy, loving couple surrounded by an array of miserable mortals who just can’t get it right. It could have been dreary, but it is a perfect example of great drama based on simple observation.  And how, sadly for the losers, one’s character ultimately defines one’s life.

Angèle et Tony *** (vo French)  By artist and first-time director Alix Delaporte, this is somewhat the French version of the above, with a bit more hope and sensuality thrown in – naturellement! It’s a sort of modern Taming of the Shrew: an incongruous couple meet and slowly discover each other, due to Tony’s basic goodness and patience, and despite Angèle’s rough, desperate character. It’s fresh and moving in its treatment of simple people, making them shiny and special.

Last Night ***   A yuppie couple have a tiff after a party when the wife detects a definite attraction between her husband and his sexy colleague. He denies all, she forgives, but the seeds of doubt have been sown. This is a smart, elegant take on modern relationships and fidelity, moments of temptation and the Venus and Mars differences between women and men.  It’s an excellent beginning for Iranian/American director and screenwriter Massy Tadjedin, who has managed to rope into her film such stars as Keira Knightley, Eva Mendes and Guillaume Canet.

Honeymoons ***  (vo Serb)  The terrible difficulty and injustice of emigration and being a refugee is treated here within two hopeful love stories, one of an Albanian couple and the other Serbian. They go from their dysfunctional families and weddings to the hell of trying to enter fortress Europe, even with the correct documents. It’s gripping, revealing and brilliantly directed by Goran Paskaljevic.

Africa United ***  This colorful road movie, about a handful of African kids crazy about football, covers a lot of ground – not only the seven countries it traverses, from Rwanda down to South Africa, but such topics as class, prostitution, child-soldiers, AIDS and of course friendship and solidarity. The destination of the World Cup down in South Africa is the vehicle for this exuberant journey of fun and mishaps, which mixes in some charming cartoon footage that’s the fairy tale which carries the children through this improbable voyage. Sweet, naive and hopeful, it’s the work of British director, Debs Gardner-Paterson, who knows Africa well.

La Petite chambre ***  (vo French)  A stubbornly grouchy old man (the grand Michel Bouquet) resents his aloof son and wants to be left alone. A caretaker for the elderly, who has her own heartbreak, manages to bring him out of his shell. Touching and well directed by Stéphanie Chuat and Véronique Reymond, both from Lausanne, it was the Swiss entry to the Oscars.

In the Beginning there was Light (Am Anfang war das Licht) **1/2  (vo German)  Apparently there are certain people who can subsist on air and light, without eating or drinking for long periods of time.  Are they liars and charlatans or deeper spirits than the rest of us? And why would they not want to eat? The Austrian P.A. Straubinger sets out to find out who, how and why in this engrossing and well-researched documentary. He leads us through the scientific facts, but there is also the Eastern idea of higher consciousness that cannot always be explained. He goes to all corners of the world, from Australia to the US, India, China and Europe, and takes us from scepticism to considering spirituality and the importance of mind-over-matter. This is well-balanced, eye-opening reportage.

Toi, moi et les autres **1/2  (vo French)   A bit of Romeo and Juliette and a modernized offshoot of Les parapluies de Cherbourg, here’s a socially-conscious musical by Audrey Estrougo that’s young, touching and aesthetically filmed, set between a wealthy family and an immigrant section of Paris. It has some lovely songs and a delicate Leila Bekhti as the heroine, but is too lethargic in its pacing.

Rien à declarer **1/2 (vo French)  After the colossal success of Bienvenu chez les Ch’tis, France’s Dany Boon has been looking for his next big comedy. This one, about two opposing border guards (Boon and Benoît Poelvoorde) on the French and Belgium sides, is an amusing take on their differences and prejudices at the time when European borders were being eradicated. A good premise and quirky characters make for many laughs – the café-owners and the bumbling drug-transporter are hilarious.

The Black Swan **  Here’s a bit of the classic Red Shoes, lots of melodrama, some quite fearful scenes set in a New York ballet company and a sublime Natalie Portman as the tortured, paranoid, perfectionist ballerina. Darren Aronofsky’s surrealistic film is somewhat over-the-top, but Portman is fragile and convincing, meriting her Golden Globe.

Neptune Ravar Ingwersen, film critic

AU CINEMA February 2011
Superb ****

Films are not just entertaining.  They are also thought-provoking, stimulate conversations and keep our minds alive.  –  All of which is good for our age esteem.

The King’s Speech ****   This superb film tells the story of the stuttering that plagued King George VI of England (father to Queen Elizabeth II), and the man who helped him overcome it. Each historical figure, from the spunky young Queen Mother (Helena Bonham-Carter) to the abdicating Duke of Windsor (Guy Pierce) and Colin Firth as the central figure, Bertie, shines in this evocative, tightly-wound yet very moving account of the man who did not want to be king, but took the mantle with responsibility and old-fashioned British resolve. Brilliantly directed by Tom Hooper, Firth brings out an amazing array of emotions as the shy king, while Jeffrey Rush is masterful as his speech teacher. Firth fully deserves his Golden Globe (and Oscar?) for best actor.

The Way Back (Les chemins de la liberté) ***1/2   A Peter Weir film is always superlative – Gallipoli, Witness, Dead Poets’ Society, Master and Commander. This latest one, with a strong character-actor cast (including Ed Harris and Colin Farrell), is about the long, harrowing journey on foot to freedom – from Russia to India – of a desperate group that escapes from a Siberian gulag. Fine acting and pacing make this true story a heroic odyssey.

True Grit ***1/2  The Coen brothers are back, once again at the summit of their craft, with a bold and entertaining remake of the 1969 John Wayne classic of the same name. And who else but the versatile Jeff Bridges to fill the Duke’s boots, with no apologies and a huge amount of grimy charm. The other wonder of this film is Hailee Steinfeld, a 14 year-old rising star playing the feisty girl who hires Bridges to find her father’s murderer. And Matt Damon makes a fine third wheel. The cinematography is perfect in its rich tones, both indoors and out, the dialogue is melodious, if one dares call it Shakespearean, while the mood is outrageously campy and tongue-in-cheek. Even if you’re not a fan of Westerns, you’ll be bowled over.

Neptune Ravar Ingwersen, film critic

Acidity in food leads to joint pain making it more challenging to exude your age esteem.

Tackling the acid-alkaline composition of food is very complex.

It is known today that we all have too much acid in the body.  This enhances conditions such as rheumatism, arthritis and even cancer to name a few.  The problem is that nearly all foods are acid: meat, fish, cheese, eggs, and starch such as rice, pasta and oats.
The alkaline or non-acid foods are vegetables, some fruits and some nuts.  Anything green is alkaline and thus very healthy for you.  In fact, all vegetables are non-acidic except for tomatoes.  Potatoes are alkaline as well as dried fruits in moderation, except for apricots.  Only two kinds of nuts are known to be alkaline – almonds and brazil nuts.

With fruit it becomes complicated as well. The sweeter the fruit, the more basic or alkaline it is.  Bananas are alkaline. Strawberries and raspberries among other berries are acid; and one interesting fact is that lemon, once it is absorbed in the body, becomes alkaline.

Therefore, if you want to get rid of some aches and pains, try increasing the amount of vegetables eaten as well as the other alkaline foods mentioned above.

Grandma Nature

Each day of this new year will bring new opportunities and experiences to be experienced and savored.

Do you look forward to each day?

One of my favorite AgeEsteem mentors and friends was Doris Blunt.  Doris was a woman of amazing inner faith and strength.  She always seemed to be bubbling over with happiness and interest.  Yet she had buried two husbands, both of whom she had accompanied through Alzheimer’s in their last years.

When I asked Doris how she remained so enthusiastic and happy she offered me the following secrets to her happiness.

• When you wake up in the morning you have choices.  You can listen to the birds and give thanks for the day as a new blessing and get up to greet the day or you can lie in bed and feel bitter about your aches and pains.  She chose the first.
• Remind yourself that whether you have a good day or a bad day depends on you and the attitude that you bring to it.  She brought a positive attitude which began when she first awoke.
• Decide what your purpose for the day is.  Doris was the sunshine of the home where she lived, so she always put on her sunniest smile when she left her room.  She said that although her smile was not always genuine when she put it on, it definitely became real by the time she met another person.  In fact her smile became infectious.  Others returned it!

These are simple yet powerful pointers for each of us to enhance our age esteem and positive attitudes to live happier lives.  Let’s look forward to each day!

Bonnie Fatio

Paul Ernest Charles Mastromatteo, 55,born in Toronto, Canada; naturalized US citizen

My first thought when I hear AgeEsteem is esteem, how you feel about yourself.  So when I hear Age Esteem I overlap that with age and self.  I take it as how you feel about yourself regardless of the age you are.  Age is first older, like aging.  I think if a person has age esteem they feel good about themselves whether they’re young and lively or older and spry.

With respect to aging there is always the issue of how you maintain your health because things happen at 50 that generally don’t happen when you’re 20.  You want to be sure that things are ok.  I mean, we all kind of plan on having an average life span, but not all of us get there.  It gets a little more complicated when you get to midlife, two thirds life and so on.  So that’s a concern, and sometimes you wonder about what would happen if I got arthritis or something and couldn’t swim or run or walk as much as I used to. – Just the simple everyday things.  These things become more possible as you get older and you have to be mindful of them.

Paul’s tips: I’ve always been pretty good about trying to stay fit.  I can’t say the same for this year; it’s kind of fallen off but I hope to get back to it.  I’ve been a runner and a swimmer for most of my life.  Whether it’s my metabolism or what, I’ve never really changed weight and that’s not something most people can say.  That might be more of a blessing than anything else.  I think that staying active is a good thing to do;  it has helped me stay in shape.  I like to think that I can still do a lot of things that I did when I was younger, I’m  just not as fast.

I would say it’s important to be balanced.  Keep your mind and your body active.  Be open to learning new things.  It’s kind of easy to say “I’m a certain age and will never be able to learn a new language”.  I heard recently one of the best ways to keep your mind active is to learn a new language.  It keeps your brain growing and developing.  Just staying close to people you care about.  Make sure you stay in touch.  It’s easy today with the internet, Skype, and everything.  So take advantage of those things. You can be in touch with someone every day who is thousands of miles away.  Not like in the old days of pen and pencil.  That’s meant a lot to me.

Paul Mastromatteo is presently completing his MBA at Thunderbird University.

Bonnie Fatio

I’m not sure who wrote this; I received it from a girl friend over the internet.  We know that friends are precious at all ages and are important for our Age Esteem,  but this also has a special message for you men. – Marriage is good for your health!

“I just finished taking an evening class at Stanford.  The last lecture was on the mind-body connection – the relationship between stress and disease. The speaker (head  of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman whereas for a  woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends.

At first everyone laughed, but he was serious.

Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality “girlfriend time” helps us to create more serotonin – a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being.  Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities.  They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going. Jobs? Yes. Sports? Yes. Cars? Yes. Fishing, hunting, golf? Yes.  But their feelings? Rarely.

Women do it all of the time. We share from our souls with our sisters/mothers, and evidently that is very good for our health.  He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym.

There’s a tendency to think that when we are “exercising” we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged—not true. In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking!

So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health! We are indeed very, very lucky. Sooooo, let’s toast to our friendship with our girlfriends. Evidently it’s very good for our health.”

Inter-generational friendships are also important for our Age Esteem.

Bonnie Fatio

Philip Hardisty,  57, British

I think Age Esteem is working at your passion.  At the moment I’m concentrating on my painting career.  I have a business here in Geneva (Switzerland) but since I moved here it hasn’t really gone in the direction that I had wanted.  As I graduated as a painter and I’ve always  played with it over the years I think that I’m at a time of life where if I don’t go for it now, then possibly I’ll  never do it.  I think there is always something pulling me in that direction so that is the path I am trying to follow.

Age isn’t something that you really think a lot about until you become older.  I think that possible concerns for me are going to be health and how to survive, obviously financially, physically and like that.  I think these are probably the main concerns we become more aware of as friends become older, you become older, and your body doesn’t quite work like it used to. – All those sort of things.

Philip’s tips: For me it’s all mental.  If you think young you stay young.  I have a mother who is now 84.  To look at her she probably looks as if she’s in her late 60’s early 70’s and I think that it is all to do with mental approach; it’s a mental attitude.  Obviously you can’t control what happens to your body.  If things go wrong, things go wrong, but if mentally you have a young, positive  outlook, that to me is most important.  Try to be optimistic.  I think it gets more difficult to remain optimistic about things as you get older, but if you can remain optimistic it plays an important role.

I think it’s very important to have a passion.  Again these are things that you think about when you get older.  We only have one life so it’s very important to try and do the best we can to have a passion about what we do because you can’t go back.  It’s no good to go back saying, “I wish I had done that, etc.”  So if you have a passion it makes your life more pleasurable and you go on a bit longer; you enjoy achieving.

Philip Hardisty’s paintings can be viewed on appointment by contacting www.hardistyint.com.