Proud To Be A Woman

We should make everyday an International Women’s Day. – A day to celebrate and honor all women of the world.

I am proud to be a woman.

As a woman I have given birth to a daughter as well as to ideas, products, businesses, and AgeEsteem… I am capable to teach, lead, advise, guide, counsel, support, encourage, mentor, and sit at the decision-making table.

I am able to laugh, sing, play and dance, even though my heart may be breaking or my body in pain.

I am able to feel within me the pain and suffering of my sisters around the globe who face atrocities that no living creature should have to endure, and lift them in my thoughts and prayers.

I am able to rejoice as I watch generations of women stand up and speak out for what they know to be right and just, despite the personal risk it may involve.

Oh, yes, I am proud to be a woman and to celebrate my sisters of all ages each day of the year!

 Bonnie Fatio

What a wonderful reminder to give thanks on this special day for all the blessings that surround us.

I am especially thankful for the people in my life who make my heart brim with love.

• My granddaughters who remind me how to play and laugh with abandon,
• Our daughter and her husband who are cascading the love and values of family to the next generation,
• Our extended family of all ages who share their lives with us and keep us current,
• Friends who dare say, “I love you” and hug with genuine warmth,
• People who have passed through my life, often without a name, who have marked me in some positive way through a word or action,
• The parents and grandparents who did their best to transmit their values, faith, and zest for life that continue to guide me today, and especially
• My husband of 49 years who encourages and supports my dreams and is always present with his unconditional love, allowing me to be my authentic self.

Oh, yes, my heart overflows with thanksgiving and gratitude for all of this and so much more.

Bonnie Fatio

P.S. The cute turkey was drawn by Rani, one of our young friends whose family invited us to celebrate Thanksgiving Day with them.

A Time To Say, “I’m Sorry”

There are occasions in all stages of life when it is best to simply say, “I’m sorry”, and move on.  This is very different from the approach of the person who is always apologizing, even when she is not responsible for what happened.  Those people wear us down with their apologies that become meaningless.

For others it is almost impossible to squeak out the words.  They are not able or willing to express that they are perhaps at least partially responsible for a situation.  How many broken relationships would still be whole if only the friends or partners had been able to express those words, “I’m sorry”?  How many estranged family members would be speaking to each other if they were able to voice those words?

And how often do we have unhappy thoughts and feel badly knowing that things might be different had we owned up to our own role in breaking a relationship because we couldn’t say, “I’m sorry.  Forgive me.”?

Knowing when to say, “I’m sorry” is important to AgeEsteemers in all stages of life.

• Saying “I’m sorry” allows you to move on to other things.  You are not preoccupied with an unhappy incident that you caused that keeps you from fully living your life today.
• You open the door to deeper discussion.
• It is a key to healing a relationship.
• Your healthy relationships will lead to greater contact with other generations.
• By saying “I’m sorry” when it is meaningful, you set an example for others.

Let your age esteem shine as an example to others. When it is meaningful, say “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

Bonnie Fatio

You are a gift to all generations!

A dynamic 40+ career woman who is highly successful in her field of work and loves her job shared the following advice with me.

When she heard about AgeEsteem her reaction was, “What a terrific idea!  Older people need to recognize what a wonderful asset and resource they are.  They seem to shy away from younger people, yet we all need each other.”

She went on to explain, “When I first started to attend conferences, my parents told me to always seek out the oldest person.  That person was sure to know more than my peers.  So I did.  I sought out and befriended older people.  I learned so much more that way.  In fact I owe these people much of my professional success and understanding of human relations.”

So do not shy away from people of other generations.  Seek them out, speak with them and learn from them. Share your wisdom and age esteem.

Bonnie Fatio

The New Retiree

The new retiree looks very little like the person who retired from her job a generation ago.

Besides being more actively engaged in life, there is another major difference.  The retired population now represents several generations.  Our lives last much longer.  To become 90 is not unusual.  To live to be 100 years of age is no longer so exceptional.  In Japan there are more than 50,000 centenarians.  The number of women centenarians doubles every 10 years.

This means that retirees cannot be viewed as one common group of people with common needs.  With as many as three generations represented among retirees our interests, concerns and outlook on life and death are very different.

As we live longer and interact with multiple generations who are both pre and post retirement age esteem becomes even more important.  Age esteem, feeling confident about ourselves as we age, is a necessary component to help us live our retirement years with a healthy and happy outlook.

Bonnie Fatio

Love with Every Age

Do you remember the first time you were kissed? – Really kissed!  Your heart seemed to stop, your toes tingled and you felt as though the ground was opening under your feet.

I hope you did, or will.  It is never too late.

Let’s face it, though.  Lights don’t always go off and bells don’t always ring.  – Nor is it necessary.

There are many ways to love. The media focuses our attention on romantic love as though it were the end-all.  They forget the love of a parent or grandparent, aunt or uncle, teacher or tutor, or the love of a sibling for another.

The media also overlooks the love that we share among friends.  It has nothing to do with romance.  It has everything to do with listening, understanding, and being there for the other person.  It is based on shared experiences, memories, laughter and tears.  It carries the knowledge that you can say what you really feel and not be judged, or ranting over something silly and not be laughed at.

Love is an important ingredient to aging with vitality and health, and with age esteem.

Look at your own relationships and ask yourself

• Who do I love?
• How do they know how important they are to me?
• How can I express to these people that I love them, care about them or appreciate them?

Age-esteemers know that love is a gift.  They use it generously.

Bonnie Fatio

A Geneva Tradition: Escalade

Traditions are important as a means of bringing people together for a common purpose. We have family traditions that include celebrating holidays, watching the sunset and greeting visiting friends or family at the airport with flowers. There are also community traditions such as how people celebrate the national holiday together in their town.

The city and state of Geneva, Switzerland have a unique tradition of celebrating the Escalade. It is the day that they commemorate the citizens of Geneva fighting off the Savoyards during the night of December 11th 1602, and thus remaining independent and free.

There is much folklore around the festivities. One story tells of La Mère Royaume, a woman who took the cauldron of vegetable soup off the fire and threw it on the enemy soldiers. This has resulted in delicious chocolate cauldrons filled with marzipan vegetables like those you see strewn over the table in the photo above.

These chocolate cauldrons are then smashed by the oldest and youngest person as they hold hands and say, “And thus perishes the enemies of the Republic!” This is to the great delight of all ages since you then eat the chocolate and its candy vegetables.

Bonnie Fatio

Not a mother?  Read on.

This week-end we will honor mothers.  Mothers are the breath of life.  We are born from the womb of our mother.

However, she may not be the one who is there to raise us.  For numerous reasons we may be raised by someone who did not give birth to us. – And this person becomes our mother, the one we turn to for oh so much in life.

Even those who do have a mother in the home are often raised at least partially by someone else.   We have many mother figures in our lives.  These are women who guide, mentor, encourage, support and advise us.  They are our role models for relationships, work, finance, education, health, and savoir-faire.   These women are equally precious in our lives.

Are you one of these women?  Then you too are to be honored on this Mother’s Day.   You have an opportunity to make a positive difference in the lives of young girls and women of all agesthrough your example and your interest in helping them become confident and to reach their greater potential.  –  And there is no age limit for this.

Women with age esteem mentor other women of all ages.

Bonnie Fatio

You Are A Gift To All Generations

 You are a gift to all generations!

A dynamic 40+ career woman who is highly successful in what she does, and love her job shared the following advice with me.

When she heard about AgeEsteem her reaction was, “What a wonderful idea!  Older people need to recognize what a wonderful asset and resource they are.  They seem to shy away from younger people, yet we all need each other.”

She went on to explain, “When I first started to attend conferences, my parents told me to always seek out the oldest person.  That person was sure to know more than my peers.  So I did.  I sought out and befriended older people.  I learned so much more that way.  In fact I owe these people much of my professional success and understanding of human relations.”

So do not shy away from people of other generations.  Seek them out, speak with them and learn from them.

Bonnie Fatio

Grace Chumley, 52, Washington

What comes to mind when I hear the term Age Esteem is as you are getting older embracing who you are and being proud of that, and not wanting to shrivel up and think that your life is over.  – To still know that you have something to contribute to society.

Living in the United States a real concern with aging is to have the finances to survive with the Social Security falling apart. So my biggest concern is what will become of me when I no longer have an income that I am earning through work.  We are fighting that here.  Government wants us to retire even older, which gives us no time to live.  By the time we do get to where we can retire and not have to actively work in earning income we don’t have a chance to live any more.  That isn’t productive.  We have worked all our lives.  I think we should be able to enjoy our lives and live.  I worry that there will not be the finances there, or the care that I need if I need to have care.

Another concern is not having a community to live in where you are also accepted as someone who can contribute.  I know that my parents’ generation said, “Don’t ever put me in a home”.  Now we have better homes and better assisted living but they are unaffordable to some people.  So, will my children take care of me?  What will happen?  Will I have a community of friends I can do things with?  Will I have companionship, friendships?  These are concerns.

Grace’s tips:  On a looks level, I’ve always taken very good care of my skin.  I’ve always felt that was important so I’ve taken care of myself that way.  I obviously need to take care of myself better with exercise; but I think what has kept me feeling young is having a positive attitude and smiling.  It’s my best attribute.  I love to laugh.  I love to laugh at myself.  I remember coming home one time and saying something that I had done that was really stupid.  My husband was like, “Why do you want to tell me about that?  That is so embarrassing.”  I thought no, I am embracing how strange and silly I was.  It’s fun.  I’m laughing at myself with the world, not at myself in a negative way.  So I think laughing and smiling is just something that keeps me young at heart.  I love to smile.  I love to teach youth to smile.

I think we have a choice in life.  I have chosen to be happy with whatever is thrown at me.  I think that is a choice we can individually make.  We can look at our lives and we can be angry; we can be sad; or we can be happy.  I think if we choose to be happy we can be much more productive, have more fun and share that with other people.  Then they will have fun too, love life, embrace it.

Grace Chumley, Grace Under Pressure, Chumleyfamily.blogspot.com   

(If you have ever had to deal with the death of a loved one, this blog may be of precious help.)

Photo credit: Bonnie Fatio