“Each life is linked to all life.” – Kosta Stoyanoff

As I gather years, it becomes ever clearer to me that we are indeed all related to each other in multiple ways. And, often it seems that serendipity (call it what you wish) brings people into my life when we need the other, we have a reason to meet. That reason may simply be the joy of knowing each other, yet experience has shown me that it is more than chance.

Can you think of moments in your life when either an old friend or someone new has popped into your life just at just the moment you needed them, even though you may not have realized that you needed them? It happens to me often.

An example was when I was interested in learning more about my paternal grandparents. I had never asked them the right questions when they were alive. It was summer and we invited a church group, which friends had belonged to while working in the U.S., that was touring Europe to picnic at our home in France. Sitting under a tree with several of them, I discovered that one of the women not only knew my grandparents, we were also related. She shared stories that helped answer some of my questions.

There are multiple times when a friend has shown up just when we needed her. Like the time our dog seemed to be gagging on something when the father of our daughter’s friend showed up at the door. He raised dogs and immediately knew what to do.

A Chinese proverb explains that when we are born we are attached with an invisible thread to all the people we are meant to meet in life. I easily believe it. Having meaningful relationships with people of all ages is an ingredient of age-esteem.

Bonnie Fatio

Ripples
A poem that remains in my memory from childhood and one that I often recite, in the words I remember vs. the correct ones, is shared below. The message is simple, powerful and valuable for each of us. – There are lasting ripples resulting from each of our words and actions.

Drop A Pebble In The Water
By James W. Foley

Drop a pebble in the water: just a splash, and it is gone;
But there’s half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,
Spreading, spreading from the center, flowing on out to the sea.
And there is no way of telling where the end is going to be.

Drop a pebble in the water: in a minute you forget,
But there’s little waves a-flowing, and there’s ripples circling yet,
And those little waves a-flowing to a great big wave have grown;
You’ve disturbed a mighty river just by dropping in a stone.

Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute it is gone;
But there’s half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on.
They keep spreading, spreading, spreading from the center as they go,
And there is no way to stop them, once you’ve started them to flow.

Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute you forget;
But there’s little waves a-flowing, and there’s ripples circling yet,
And perhaps in some sad heart a mighty wave of tears you’ve stirred,
And disturbed a life was happy ere you dropped that unkind word.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: just a flash and it is gone;
But there’s half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,
Bearing hope and joy and comfort on each splashing, dashing wave
Till you wouldn’t believe the volume of the one kind word you gave.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: in a minute you forget;
But there’s gladness still a-swelling, and there’s joy circling yet,
And you’ve rolled a wave of comfort whose sweet music can be heard
Over miles and miles of water just by dropping one kind word.

It takes so little to offer a lasting gift, a gift that lives on. All it takes is a simple card, mail or call.

Such a gift was presented to me unexpectedly this morning. Someone who I had coached several years back phoned to update me on where she was in her life. She is at a new fork in the road as she transitions from one job and country to another based on a personal decision that she has made. This transition is planned and prepared with a six week break for rest and recreation before moving into her new life.

Why is this a gift that lives on? Knowing that I have positively supported someone and in her words, “inspired” her long after our coaching session to live her life more fully motivates me. It gives me an even greater desire to continue. – And it warms my heart to know she cared enough to reach out to me with thanksgiving.

Is there someone I could phone to remind them that I am thankful for their guidance, for their support, advice, love, friendship…?  Oh, yes! There are many. And, as of this moment I am going to remind one person each day that she or he has offered me a lasting gift.

What about you? Who are the people you would like to reach out to today to say “Thank you”?

Bonnie Fatio

– It is never too late to dream –

“If everyone tells you it’s possible, then you are not dreaming big enough.” – Bertrand Piccard & André Borschberg

Watch this 360 video about Solar Impulse, Explorers Of The Impossible.

The vision was to fly an airplane using only renewable energy. There is no noise, no pollution and no fuel. It is new technology. 100% renewable energy.

“When people think something is impossible they stimulate you to find new solutions and be creative… This is what drives us to show the power of a dream, the power of perseverance.”

I was struck by the pilots’ comments that they purposely went to experts in other fields when designing/building the airplane so that no preconceived ideas would limit them (for example the huge sheets of carbon were created by shipbuilders, not the airplane manufacturers).

“People thought we were crazy. It was a nice feeling. When people tell you it is possible, it means you are not ambitious enough.”

They believed in this dream, the vision, and understood that every question had a solution.

“They did not know it was impossible, so they did it.”

Believe in the power of dreams!

Bonnie Fatio

Life moves one step at a time. Something I learned years ago while working with children with very special needs. You need to recognize the little successes that keep us moving in the right direction.

Even though we sometimes think we are off course, my experience proves time and time again that we never really are. We simply are stopping along the path to smell the roses or turn over a rock. And from each little detour we learn something precious for the future.

You are moving towards what you want with little steps.

Enjoy the journey.

Bonnie Fatio

Here I am in Florida, USA, among senior citizens everywhere I go. – And the energy is amazing. I am in one of the popular restaurants where breakfast is served all day. There is a senior’s menu that has smaller portions and smaller prices. My coffee, eggs, fruit and pancakes with sausage cost less than $10.

So people keep returning. Business is good. There is a line of people waiting for tables. It is all cheery and good fun. Nothing to make you think being older is anything but joyful.

Yes, there are also a few scattered children either with grandparents or families. They transform sections of the picture into intergenerational joy.

No matter where you look, age relates to happiness.

AgeEsteemers are champions at making the most out of every experience. Life is, after all, what you make it to be.

Bonnie Fatio

To continue the conversation at a retirement party (Ah, To Be 25 Again) discussing “Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be 25 again”, I asked the person if he really meant it. He said “Yes, especially if I could be 25 years old and know all that I know today.”

It is probable that 25-year- olds today do know as much as their grandparents knew when they were 60. The ease of communication and access to information has grown exponentially. A 25-year- old person today has access to more information in a few minutes than our grandparents had in a several years.

If this is the case for the 25-year- old, it is also true for us who are 50, 62 or 87. We too had greater access to information than our grandparents had.

The critical difference is the ‘living’ that we have acquired. – The experiences with both positive and difficult passages that have taught us what we could never learn in a classroom or on the Internet. These experiences include people we have met, places we have traveled, foods, flavors and aromas that have tickled our senses. They include childbirth, illness, accidents, healing and death. They include love, despair, joy, grief, forgiveness, gratitude, passion, spiritual awareness, empathy and understanding.

Would you choose to give up all that you have lived since age 25 in order to be 25 again ‘knowing’ what you know today? Maybe you would. Or perhaps you are like me, filled with age esteem and loving the experience of living each age and each stage realizing that each day brings a new beginning.

Personally, I would not want to be 25 again and to miss out on these past 44 years of living and learning. It seems to be a poor exchange to trade these years of experiencing life in order to be in a younger body and simply ‘know’ without having gone through the process of living.

What about you? Would you trade the years you have lived since the age of 25?

Bonnie Fatio

Would you like to be age 25 again?

At a retirement party one of the guests explained to me that he would soon turn 60, but was telling everyone that he was 25. He seemed genuinely nostalgic with a desire to relive his 20’s.

Would he really want to be 25 again?

Speaking with people around the world during my travels for AgeEsteem, I have learned that people rarely mean that they would like to be 25 years old again. – It is the associations with the age that they would like. What they miss is what they remember as endless energy, exciting projects on the horizon, and the opportunity to tread on and even blaze new paths.

What they overlook is the fact that we can have much of that at any age. So much of what we seek around us is within us. Instead of wasting time with what we wish we had, we should focus on what we do have, and what we wish for in our lives.

I still have seemingly endless energy when I am doing something that I love, whether it is speaking in a foreign country to a new audience or doing a sun dance in the rain with my granddaughters. Catch yourself doing something that you love and the same will be true. Like me, you will probably also need some down time to compensate for all that energy, but remember how we used to sleep late or take a nap between activities when we were younger? Even in college I used to nap between classes. Times haven’t changed all that much.

Exciting projects can still beacon to us and there are multiple new paths to tread physically, virtually and figuratively. It is up to each of us to realize what we want. In the words of Lou Tice, a great teacher and mentor, “If it is to be it is up to me”.

Would you really want to be 25 again and miss out on all that you have lived, learned and experienced? Or do you enjoy living the NOW with passion and age esteem?

Bonnie Fatio

As I started to settle onto one of the benches in St. Michael Shrine in Tarpon Springs, Florida a woman came towards me. There was something in her bearing that made me stand up even though I had not seen her before.

She came directly to me, wrapped her arms around me and simply said, “I love you. Be happy.”

It was without surprise that I hugged her in return saying, “I love you. I am happy.”

How simple it is to share the joy of love by hugging a complete stranger, saying “I love you”, and encouraging them to be happy.

There have been odd moments when I have hugged a stranger. I also do tell people that I love them. But to do all of this at the same time to a complete stranger? – That was a new lesson in unconditional love.

Bonnie Fatio

It’s no fun having a sore joint. In fact its downright painful! At the same time, being less than one’s usual self can bring positive lessons, increase one’s awareness of what others go through regularly on a day-to- day basis, and teach us how to be better persons.

One of these lessons is perseverance. Practice does improve performance. But we must stay with it and persist. The first day that I climbed on the stationary bike at the clinic, there was a very old gentleman on the bike next to me. As I peddled at my gentle speed, I glanced over at the controls on his cycle. Wow! He was climbing mountains compared to me.

When I told him how impressed I was with his capacity to bike up difficult grades, he turned to me and said, “I have had to build up to this. When I began three weeks ago, I could do less than you are. But I have worked at it each day and it has paid off. I now climb steep grades and can still find my breath to speak with you.”

The key is perseverance! – A key to keeping strong with age-esteem at every age.