We are privileged to have modern technology to facilitate our contact, even without leaving our home. Use the tools that are available to you. There are many unique ways to connect with others.

• Test some of the chat rooms associated with sites that interest you.
• Comment on other people’s posts on social media. Ask questions and stimulate conversations.
• Do some research on topics that interest you. You can use your new knowledge to initiate conversations about topics that take your mind away from the present pandemic.

These open new doors to both your social health and intellectual health, stimulating you to think in new ways, while offering you an opportunity to express your ideas and to also challenge the ideas of others. Share your perspective that comes with age, your wisdom. Society needs to hear what you think to counterbalance other perspectives. Be bold with your age-esteem and positively share your thoughts.

Ask yourself what you might be doing for others as well as with others.

• Meet by phone or computer app each day to have a virtual cup of tea or a before dinner drink with someone who is alone.
• Have dinner with your remote family. We dine with our daughter and her family twice a week. Each of us places a computer at the end of our table and using Zoom we soon forget that we are not physically in the same room.
• Many parents are juggling schooling their children at home and caring for little ones while continuing their jobs from home. Why not offer to help children with their studies using a program like Zoom or Skype?
• Set a time to play computer games with a friend or grandchild. AARP has a good selection of games, and a favorite for puzzles is JigZone. I personally meet up with my granddaughters on WhatsApp and we work on the same puzzle seeing who finishes first.
• If you are able, purchase food or walk the dog for another person in your neighborhood who is not able to get out. Ideas are limitless once you begin.
• One of my favorite ideas to stay connected is the Kit de tendresse (Tenderness Kit) pictured above that we received from friends with two little girls. It includes poems, drawings, cutouts, conundrums, and more, all wrapped in colorful paper with lots of scotch tape!

It’s an interesting time to invent new ways to have contact and keep your social health vital.

Bonnie Fatio

To prevent COVID-19 you need to actively develop and maintain your health. In this series dealing with the eight areas of health we will first focus on Social Health, even while being told to avoid direct contact with others. 

It is human nature to seek contact with other people. This does not change due to the COVID-19 alert. We still want to continue to feel that we are part of a community, that we belong, and we are not completely isolated socially.

In the present situation people are being asked globally to remain isolated in their homes, whether or not they are in quarantine. It is an important safety measure to limit the spread of the COVID-19. It is important that we nevertheless keep our social life active. No, you are not able to visit friends in their homes, go to the cinema, attend club functions and group activities. However, there are other ways to remain socially active.

It is up to you to take responsibility to remain socially active, and there are many ways to do this. Let’s look at some of the possibilities.

We are blessed to be living in a time of social media and Internet access which opens possibilities for us not only to communicate with others through text or voice but to also see each other on the screen of our phone or computer.  Who might you call or email in order to check up on them or to just have a conversation? Who have you not spoken with for a long time? Have you been saying to yourself you should call a particular person? Well my friend, this is your opportunity to do it.

• Make a list of people you would like to speak with and mark two names in your agenda each day for the next weeks. Then contact each of them on the designated day. Not only will you make someone else happy, you will feel better, too.
• Prepare some uplifting topics to discuss, such as the blessing of being able to speak with each other. Ask questions and share happy memories or present stories.

Everyone has regular access to the Internet which makes old fashioned mail precious. If you are like me, you still have a stash of special note paper that has been gathering dust in a drawer and postcards you’ve gathered during travels. This is an ideal opportunity to use them.

• Write to friends and family. You can plan a quick walk to the nearest mailbox at a time when there are few people in the street.
• If you need stamps, in many countries you are able to print your own stamps online. This is a wonderful opportunity to learn to do it.
• Why not view your photos and include one that is meaningful?

Interestingly an important part of remaining social is to also avoid negative media.

• When you are communicating with friends and colleagues keep your messages positive and upbeat; avoid complaining and emphasizing what is not good. This is going to make a difference not only for you but also for the others with whom you’re communicating. Let them know if they begin to talk negatively that you want to look at the positives in this present situation.
• Highlight some of the opportunities and possibilities this crisis brings, such as time to speak with friends you care about, people playing music and singing on the balconies in Italy so neighbors will not feel isolated, or lack of traffic and industrial pollution.

Remember, when you focus on your Social Health, you also enhance your age-esteem.

Bonnie Fatio

How to take care of yourself and continue to enhance your age-esteem during the threat of Coronavirus.

It is smart to remember that we are high risk for Coronavirus  (COVID-19) when we are part of the over 65 population. However, health information I will share over the next weeks is important for people of all ages and stages of life. – And I care about each of you!

When you are in good health, you are happier, healthier, and less susceptible to disease, so it’s important to look at your total health.

I attended a webinar of FWoC (Female Wave of Change), a partner of Inspired Women Lead which I founded in 2016. During the webinar, Dr. Shashi Goel presented eight areas for each of us to include in our health plan. She emphasized that each of these eight areas contributes to our overall mental health, and therefore the way we live during these days of uncertainty – which means they are powerful contributors to our age-esteem.

Over the years we have dealt with these eight areas in various blogs. During the next weeks, I will feature one of the eight areas of health every two days. As always, I will strive to give you concrete examples of what you can do, even without leaving your home.

it’s not enough to ask what you can do to prevent COVID-19 such as washing your hands, wearing a mask, remaining at home and not having contact with other people. You need to also be actively developing and maintaining your health.

Most often when speaking of health, physical health comes to mind. Physical health is undeniably important. However, to be healthy we must take a holistic view. So, let’s look at the multiple areas where we can influence our health. These include social health, emotional health, spiritual health, environmental health, intellectual health, occupational health, financial health, as well as physical health.

Each of these areas of health is dependent on each of the others; we need all of them if we are to be wholly healthy. Each is a key to our age-esteem.

Bonnie Fatio

Are you constantly focused on what you have to do, forgetting what you would like to do?

Harmonize your life. Happy people at all stages of life create a balance among exercise, healthy food, positive relationships, adequate sleep, and their main activity (studies, grandparenting, volunteering, travel).

Building this harmony in your own life may be much easier than you think.

• Take a tough look at your life today. What seems to work well? What do you wish you had time for but don’t? Prioritize these activities you would like to build into your schedule.
• Choose one new activity to begin this week.
• Decide how you will include this activity into your life. What will you drop from or reduce in your schedule? Who might take over a task for you to free up more time?
• Act on this priority. As soon as it seems to be in harmony with the other activities in your life, move on to priority two.

Be gentle with yourself. It will not happen overnight. Take it one step at a time. Your age-esteem will benefit as you take control.

Bonnie Fatio

It is important to have “down time”, moments or periods of time when we do nothing except enjoy the moment. I was having one such moment with two of my friends recently. We had each taken off the afternoon to simply “be” together.

Although it was the first time that these particular friends met, they immediately connected with each other. It didn’t surprise me, because we have positive outlooks that help us anticipate the joy of meeting someone new and to find the interest in them.

Mixing with positive people is an important key to aging with age-esteem. People we associate with influence how we feel about ourselves and about life in general.

Do you have people in your life who are positive in their outlook?

• Make a personal audit of the people you see regularly. What do you admire about them? Do you learn from them? Are they people who share your values and whom you respect? Do they bring out the best in you?
• Eliminate anyone from your inner circle who does not fit these criteria. Move away from anyone who stresses faults rather than qualities.
• If you must be with negative people at work, be polite but don’t let them into your inner circle.
• Seek out and spend your time with people who have positive, « can do » attitudes.

Positive people will help you become the greatest you that you can become today, at the age you are.

Bonnie Fatio

Elder Abuse

While riding a city bus in Geneva, Switzerland, I was fascinated by a video clip with the Helpline for people experiencing domestic violence. What caught my attention was the message of an older woman saying, “Since my husband has retired, he controls everything I do. I’ve had enough.”

There are many types of violence, and older persons are often abused physically, psychologically, sexually, and financially. This includes neglect, violation of rights, denial of privacy, and denial to participate in making decision.

Keeping in mind that throughout the world, 1 million people reach the age of 60 years every month, there is real concern that mistreatment of elders will increase.

So, what can you do?

• Become aware of what mistreatment of older people means so you can recognize it.
• Download this report from the United Nations to learn how to recognize abuse and what to do about it..
• Know your rights and seek help if you, or someone around you is being abused.
• Find out what services are available in your community to help prevent further violence and mistreatment. Speak to your healthcare professional, church leader, social services, Helpline, elder abuse prevention center.
• Remember to practice the techniques and concepts of AgeEsteem. The more confident and happier you are as you age, the greater your sense of self-worth and your expectation of being treated with respect and dignity.

No one should have to experience violence, abuse or mistreatment, at any age.

Bonnie Fatio

Bloom Where You Are

During Winter it can be terribly gray where I live. Weeks go by with no sunshine. – Gray clouds, gray fog, gray rain. Gray buildings, gray roads, gray expressions on people’s faces.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anaïs Nin

And then, suddenly Spring arrives, trees bud, flowers bloom, grass becomes luscious green, birds chirp and sing, and the world comes to life! People begin to smile again and even walk with more energy in their steps.

It brings to mind the saying, “Bloom where you are planted”. While the ground lay fallow during the grey winter months, much was happening underground and trees as each little bud began to bloom where it had been planted. It did not decide what bloom it would become or where it would grow. It bloomed where it was planted.

I believe age-esteem is important if you are to bloom where you are planted. You may not have chosen to work in the company that offered you the job, or to live in the house or city that you do, or to admit to be the age that you are. Yet, how much easier is it to decide to love what we do, to make our home into our haven no matter where it is, and to recognize the joys and advantages of being the age that we are? The quote from Anaïs Nin expresses it well. It is more painful to be a victim and detest something than it is to risk making the most of a situation and actually blossoming where you are, doing what you do, and being the age you are.

Are you willing to make the effort to bloom where you are planted? Are you willing to take control of your life and to love yourself at the age you are? If you are, you will also blossom with AgeEsteem.

            Bonnie Fatio

Isaac Newton once said,”If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants.”

Think back to your youth. Were there people in your life that took an authentic interest in your future, or helped you see both sides of a situation that seemed overwhelming? Maybe a speech, or a family story that sparked a fire inside of you to make a difference in your community?

It is important to recognize that the relationships that pushed you beyond what you could have imaged for yourself are the shoulders of the giants that helped you see further than others. In turn, you now have the opportunity to be the shoulders for the younger generation.

Here are a few ways that you can empower the younger generation and give them the opportunity to see further than those before them.

Listen – While your ideas are valued, it is important to know that listening and truly hearing the ideas of the younger generation is so empowering. It gives them an actual space at the table to share their views and opinions.

Mentor – The vast majority of the younger generation desires to create change in their communities and around the world. They are in need of a supportive counselor who has the ability to push them beyond what they may have imagined they could accomplish. Thus, “passing the torch” and empowering the younger generation.

Be Humble – It is important to know that we cannot always think that our way is the right way. In order to empower the younger generation one must be humble and willing to admit when new ideas are better than our own.

Offer your shoulders to the youth and know that your AgeEsteem will spark empowerment in the youth of today.

What can the older generation do in order to support and encourage the younger generation?

Do you have a favorite recipe that you have perfected for many years? Maybe something that can only be taught in the kitchen, or with a pinch of this and a dash of that. This is a great opportunity to develop highly transferable skills, from hands-on math conversions to staying with a project from beginning to end. Remember, those messy young sous chefs will one day cook entire meals for their family and friends.

Do you carry with you a wealth of childhood stories? With your stories you can give the younger generation an insight into the lifestyle of your childhood. You can teach what books cannot! These stories pass on life lessons that allow the younger generation to become a part of something larger than themselves.

Have you encountered difficult people in your life? Think about how many different types of people you have had to interact with. You have a wealth of experience and know a lot about behavior and manners that the younger generation has not yet acquired. Use your experiences and examples to encourage and support the younger generation with problematic relationships. Teach them techniques to respond instead of react when interacting with impossible people.

Are you a great motivator? Can you move the younger generation from the couch and video games to a more active lifestyle? Be creative! Encourage outside activities such as splashing in muddy puddles, tossing a ball, gardening and the good old fashioned games of tag and hide-and-seek. Give the younger generation a better line of sight on how their actions make a measurable difference in their own happiness.

The energy of the younger generation mixed with the experience of the older generation can do wonders in a society!

I challenge you to take an interest in the younger generation by passing on your AgeEsteem and making a positive difference in the youth of today.

When I cheerfully wished a friend Happy Valentine’s Day, her response surprised me. She moaned, “Ha! Maybe it’s a Happy Valentine’s Day for you, but I have no one to love”.

Her response set me thinking. Is it possible to have no one to love? It is true that with aging comes the loss of loved ones, often a change in where we live and our activities. These can bring the feelings of loneliness and even abandonment, leading to depression. It may seem to us that we have no one to love, but is it really possible to have no one to love?

If this is true, then how can we change the situation? How can we find others to care for and love? In my book, AgeEsteem, the chapter on The Power of Purpose opens with this personal quote: “Having a purpose enables us to step outside of our own needs and problems, to focus on new opportunities and to renew our energy as we take action”. Scientific research and my own personal experience shows that to have that sense of belonging, of being loved and loving others, we must have a purpose in our lives, a reason to get up in the morning and to look forward to the day.

The trick is to reach out to others. Find a volunteer activity where you can benefit others with your talents and personality. Do you like children and have energy to care for them? Why not help a neighbor with her little ones once or twice a week? Many children are begging for help with their homework. Youth are in need of older mentors to guide them. Join a team to fold flyers or decorate for a party. Read to the blind. Opportunities are countless once you begin to look into volunteering.

Nothing is more fulfilling than to think that you have benefited the life of another. Seek your immediate purpose. Forget about yourself for a minute and reach out to others. Richard Branson, multi-billionaire, says that what gets him up in the morning is the idea of being able to make a difference. Doris Blunt, a retired school teacher, would get up with a smile each morning because she was the “sunshine” of the home she lived in. We each have a purpose. Find yours, and you will also find someone to love.

Bonnie Fatio