Satisfied
Just when you think that you’re all worn out,
Straighten up, stand strong, give a shout:
“Hooray for the day!
Come what may
I will greet it with joy and gratitude,
And a cheerful, confident attitude.”
I am alive and
Satisfied!
Written by Alexandra Taylor for AgeEsteem®
Happy Mother’s Day to All the Women of the World!
Whether you are a mother, grandmother, aunt, godmother, fairy godmother or friend, this is YOUR day.
Thank you for all that you do to assure that our children and grandchildren grow to be happy, educated, concerned citizens of our planet. Thank you for your guidance and unconditional love. All of us at AgeEsteem are grateful to you.
Happy Mother’s day!
Bonnie Fatio
Jolanda van Tol, 46, Netherlands
AgeEsteem means I believe in age. I am counting the years until I turn 50. My life is going much better than I was at 35 or even younger. And if people say you look 39 it’snot a compliment because I know myself now and I am happier now. I am really looking forward. That is why my hair is grey and nothing is going to change that, ever.
My concern with becoming older would be my health, my mobility but we will figure it out when it happens. Also perhaps my independence if I could not do things for myself anymore and have to have others make decisions for me. Those are the only things.
Jolanda’s Tips: Age just happens! Accept yourself. Just accept yourself the way you are. It is the way it is! You don’t need to try to look younger with all the techniques. You still can have nice breasts, butt and no wrinkles at 47. I love old women. You know Simona Signoret? She was beautiful before she died. Try to be happy. Keep yourself healthy. Just move around. Not to exercise in a room, but just walk and bike and move! Don’t lay down. Don’t take a nap in the afternoon like my mother did from age 35. No, just go on and go to bed early, but stay up all day.
Jolanda van Tol, helps people recognize their qualities and make them visible, www.Gloedvol.nl
Photo credit: Paulissimo
Going to the movies is good for your age esteem.
Ann Banner, 62, NC, USA
I think that when I hear AgeEsteem it is how you feel at any point in your life whether you’re considered young, middle aged or older. Naturally by being over 60 now, it is how I feel about myself and being over 60 years old.
I think more recently I’ve given aging more thought because in my immediate area and among the people I grew up with, I see a lot of people I went to high school with who are dying in their mid- 60’s. It concerns me not so much because I feel that I’m next, but because I do wonder what is it about our age group that seems to be more prevalent. Then I fear that since years are going by there are things that I have to consider because I won’t live another 62 years. I don’t know if it is so much a fear as it is a concern.
Ann’s Tips: I’m probably harder on myself than on other people. I find myself telling other people things that I really should be speaking to myself about. But when my younger co-workers say, “Oh is it 5 o’clock yet?” I’m often heard to say, “Someone wishes they had all day.” So don’t wish your life away. I think that because I see time going by so fast, or seemingly so fast, I just think people ought to treasure that voice. I find myself saying that a lot. I try to live each day to the fullest.
I think that if people are honest with themselves they’ll realize there are things that they don’t like about themselves, but it’s the only self they’re going to get. I guess what I would say is what I say to myself. Emphasize those things that you do well. We all have some, like a good sense of humor or patience, tolerance, understanding of other people, being less critical of other people. Those things are all a part of our esteem and I think if we stopped and realized what is good that we can share with other people, we would feel better about ourselves. That is where it starts. If we’re not happy within we sure can’t share it. Misery loves company. That’s for sure. I think people often seek out other people who don’t feel good either. If you go to another person and you feel bad, you’re probably going to go to the person that’s going to agree with you, and that’s not always the best thing to do.
Ann Banner is a public health pediatric nurse working primarily with the pediatric residents from Chapel Hill, NC, USA
Hendrica Okondo, 55, Kenya
AgeEsteem makes me think of feisty, fantastic wise women.
I think my fear of aging is that people will forget that I’m intelligent and I can still do the things I did when I was younger and that they will do things for me instead of ask me.
Hendrica’s Tips: I think the passion to live and just feeling blessed that I’m alive. I thought I would die at 50. And here I am meeting all these lovely young people. I like women especially because there is always a story and they always want to know more about people. I want to know what their stories are. That’s what makes me excited.
I am in a line of work that keeps me in contact with like-minded people. I don’t think it matters where they are. I’ve met highly powerful women like Michelle Bachelet who is very down to earth and very nice, and I’ve met women in the village in Sudan who were fun to be with just sitting under a tree. They can laugh at what they went through during the war and still find time to ask whether I have a husband and where are my children. I think women wherever they are have this personal touch and that is what I love about them.
I think you should affirm yourself and not be concerned with what people think about you. Just be clear that you are beautiful, not according to the model in the magazine, but beautiful with a good heart. If you have a beautiful smile it makes it even better. I think if you pick something you are enthusiastic about, even volunteer, it is good. I was very inspired by two very important women coming in the other day just to help write certificates for speakers at the Women’s Summit. That is very inspiring. It shows just how committed and how engaged they are, which means that they are not sitting at home thinking, I’m lucky I’m bored. No, they are just ready to go out and help. It is the kind of thing I find in my village where you find grandmothers who are ready to come to church at any time and to decorate the church. – They’re ready to do any work that you want them to do. At the end of it you can all sit around and just laugh. (I’m sorry you don’t have Hendrica’s contagious laugh live. She shares it generously.) I think that laughter just makes it easier. I have great admiration for the women at the world office of the YWCA . They work really very hard, and sometimes when things are going terribly wrong they just sit down and laugh. I think it is a strength that keeps you going.
We need to stay current. I love my job. I get to talk about sex to women and they seem very shocked when I do because somehow I don’t think that my face looks like someone talking about sex. I’m a Catholic, and I love to talk to Catholics about sex, because the Pope should have nothing to say about sex since he doesn’t practice it. Especially in the continent I work in where we have 6 million young women that were born positive. They have the virus. So I get very angry when people say we want a virus free world, These kids will never lead a virus free life, but they do want to have sex. They also watch television and they know that relationships are what makes a young person. If we do not tell them how to protect themselves, we will not reach the target of zero transmission. They will do it secretly and they will transmit the virus. This is a reality. You can’t preach abstinence to someone who already has the virus. So it becomes very serious work and I believe that women have a right to make decisions about their own bodies. I definitely think if you want to have an abortion and you have information and you make a conscious decision and you understand the consequences you should have a right to safe and proper services to have the abortion.
Hendrica Okondo is Global manager for reproductive health and rights and HIV, and also the focal point for Africa at the World Office of the YWCA.
Mary E. Kinhardt 73, CA, USA
Age esteem is something I’ve been thinking about a lot. It is to value myself where I am in my life now, and the things I’m able to do. It’s a bit of a challenge to see all the younger people and the things they can do, the places they go, the places they study and what their hopes are for the future. Mine are different now. I recently moved to a retirement community because I wanted, in my mind at least, get to know what it means to be at this stage in life and being 73 in a retirement community. There are a lot of people in their late 70s, 80s, 90s. When I get up each day I am challenged to think this is where I am, what can I do?
Obviously I’m here at the CSW (Commission on the Status of Women) at the United Nations in New York (where I interviewed her) because I think it is important to keep current with what the global women’s movement is doing. I feel valued when I’m here for what I did for women over the years and I really want to give the leadership over to the younger women and follow their guide. This has been a time for me to learn how to live in a retirement community and also how to be a part of CSW at this stage in my life.
Health is a big concern. I see what happens to the health of many people as they get older. I guess I don’t want to go to the doctors that some of them go to or to the hospitals to get the procedures that some of them get. I’m scared about what happens to people health-wise. I’m trying to be optimistic and be thankful for the health I have now which is really pretty good. So I’m just trying to trust God to help me at every stage. He’s gotten me this far! I do have medical insurance and doctors so I’m trying not to worry about that.
Mary E.’s Tips: My organization is The Grail. We’ve had teenagers with us here and just seeing their vitality and imagining what they will get into as they go along makes me think this is really worth-while. This morning the YWCA presented the worship with women from Armenia, Belize and Japan. It is heartening to see how they are moving forward. Seeing them here now is thanks to what women (of which she is one) have done in the past. That gives me energy.
I take care of my health and try to eat properly, get enough sleep and try not to get stressed out. I try not to take on more things than I can do. Use the privileges that you get when you are older like riding the NY subways and having people get up to give me their seats. They don’t want this old lady landing in their laps! I also avoid certain places that could get me into trouble. Use practical common sense like trying to be conservative financially.
Life is basically good. Sometimes you have to wait for the miracle to happen when things get tough, but try to remember that if you feel this way today you probably won’t feel this way tomorrow. So live one day at a time. Not to be worried about the future or to be stewing over what happened in the past but try to remember when things get tough, well they’re not going to stay this way. Just go on. Spirituality plays a role in my own consciousness.
Mary Kinhardt is an activist around women’s affairs with a deep concern about the spiritual dimension of life.
May 2011 AU CINEMA
Good **
Winter’s Bone **1/2 In the poverty-stricken Ozarks of Missouri, a young girl sets out to find her outlaw father who has put up their home as bail. This is an unendingly dismal portrait of the miserable reality of their lives. Well acted and true to the region, but did it deserve to be nominated among the best films of 2010?
November **1/2 (vo French) A luminous documentary about an old mother and her eccentric son in their remote ancestral home somewhere near Alsace. It may feel static, but the beauty of the images has a hypnotic effect.
Los Colores de la Montana **1/2 (vo Spanish) A touching and earnest foray into the tragedy of simple, innocent village people terrorized between the rebels and government troops in Columbia.
Unknown (Sans identité) ** With Liam Neeson and Diane Kruger, this is an intriguing tale of mistaken/lost identity and a chase to find the truth in a maze of spies and hit-men in Berlin. This formulaic thriller has too many holes in its script, but an interesting finale. Bruno Ganz is great.
Ma part du gâteau ** (vo French) Cédric Klapisch (L’Auberge espagnol) delves this time into two opposing worlds – that of a factory worker/maid and a rich trader who was instrumental in the downfall of her factory. Karin Viard is charming as the initially-clueless maid, wowed by her new lifestyle.
La Fille du puisatier ** (vo French) Based on a Marcel Pagnol classic and in the genre of Jean de Florette, Daniel Auteuil’s first endeavor at writing and directing is lovely to look at in the lush Provence, but too clichéd, sentimental and with some awkward acting from strong performers such as Darroussin and Azema. He should stick to being one of France’s great actors.
The Hunter ** (vo Farsi) A stark and unrelentingly bitter tale of a man who loses his family in Tehran and tries to hit back at random. As director and actor, Raffi Pitts can’t make up his mind if this is a political statement of despair, a family tragedy or a thriller.
I am Number 4 (Numéro 4) ** Like the vampire Twilight series, this looks like the beginning of a new franchise of good vs evil, aliens this time. The good guy alien is a dish of course, and his counter-part earth girl is sweet and trusting – what else? The evil aliens are really ghoulish….
May 2011 AU CINEMA
Superb ****
In a Better World (Revenge) **** (vo Danish, English) Winner of the Best Foreign Film Oscar, here’s yet another outstanding, universal film from Susanne Bier of Denmark. Covering two families, each with their own losses and sorrows, it follows the evolution of their two troubled sons who become friends in school. There is the father who helps as a doctor in Africa, marital problems and bullies of all sorts. It’s a rich and comprehensive kaleidoscope of today’s world, in all its aspects.
Wasteland (De la poubelle au musée) **** (vo Portuguese and English) If art is transformation, this is the core of its creation – as Brazilian artist Vik Muniz turns garbage into works of art. Or rather, takes amazingly gentle, noble and wise garbage pickers in the biggest landfill in Brazil and transforms them and their lives into something very moving and beautiful. Director Lucy Walker deserves all the awards for her documentary, a true work of art, for it also transforms us.
127 Hours **** PUT ASIDE your disgust at his cutting off his own arm to escape! That is only two minutes of this exhilarating true story. The rest is riveting, innovative drama, brilliantly directed by Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire) and a celebration of life, family and survival. Trust me.
