Exercise your mind. Engage in meaningful activities. Volunteer, read books and magazines that spark your curiosity, teach a class or learn a new skill or hobby. These exercises will not only improve your thinking ability and help you feel happier, but will also protect the brain by establishing “cognitive reserve” helping the brain become more adaptable in some mental functions, compensating for age-related brain changes.

Do something to grow your mind each day! It will also grow your age-esteem.

Perhaps the most important realization a person can make is that they have the ability to control their growth. This is true at all ages and stages of life. Some of the ideas listed below are simple while others might take a conscious effort to act on. Each idea helps us care for our body, in much the same way as we do our garden.

Nutrition, what you feed your body, is important. As you age your metabolism slows down. You need fewer calories so it is important to choose foods that give you the best nutritional value. Make it a priority to Include lean protein in your diet. Remember to choose foods that are high in fiber and low in sodium or salt.

Also, look for Vitamin D, an important mineral as we age. Consider taking vitamin supplements targeted at your age group.

Feed your body to encourage healthy growth!

Share the Blossoms

“The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.” – Heda Béjar

One of my early positions was Head of Admissions for the International School of Geneva. I loved the contact with parents, students and staff from around the world, and constant interaction was the basis of my position. I interviewed parents of prospective students in my office daily, and made sure my office was attractive to visitors.

The school gardener caught me smelling his beautiful flowers outside my office one day, and I explained to him how much I appreciated the beauty he gave to the school. Towards the end of our short discussion, he said that he would bring me a few flowers for my office. Imagine my surprise when he showed up at my window with a stunning bouquet while I was interviewing parents.

It became a weekly tradition. He would knock on my window whether I was alone or interviewing, and I would interrupt what I was doing to receive my bouquet. The fragrance certainly remained with the giver of the flowers. The fragrance also increased in multiple ways. Each person felt special when they saw the flowers being delivered through my window, and more often than not would leave with a bloom. And, as I told the gardener, “Your gesture of sharing your blossoms does as much to sell the quality of the school as me sharing the academic qualities. When you bring flowers to brighten my office, you give the message that each of us cares.”

Sharing experiences with others, be it admiring beauty of blooms, watching a movie together, or having a conversation is healthy. Research shows that an experience is richer when it is shared. It also influences longevity. This is emphasized in research focusing on areas of the world such as in the “blue zone” of Sardinia off the coast of Italy where there are six times more centenarians than in Italy. Community is one of the decisive factors. People share experiences, both good and bad, and see each other often. The streets are narrow and living quarters are close to each other. People know each other, have close friends and a network and they share.

Do you want to live a happier longer life? Enhance your age-esteem by sharing with others and, like the giver of the rose, the fragrance will stay with you.

Bonnie Fatio

Bloom Where You Are

During Winter it can be terribly gray where I live. Weeks go by with no sunshine. – Gray clouds, gray fog, gray rain. Gray buildings, gray roads, gray expressions on people’s faces.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anaïs Nin

And then, suddenly Spring arrives, trees bud, flowers bloom, grass becomes luscious green, birds chirp and sing, and the world comes to life! People begin to smile again and even walk with more energy in their steps.

It brings to mind the saying, “Bloom where you are planted”. While the ground lay fallow during the grey winter months, much was happening underground and trees as each little bud began to bloom where it had been planted. It did not decide what bloom it would become or where it would grow. It bloomed where it was planted.

I believe age-esteem is important if you are to bloom where you are planted. You may not have chosen to work in the company that offered you the job, or to live in the house or city that you do, or to admit to be the age that you are. Yet, how much easier is it to decide to love what we do, to make our home into our haven no matter where it is, and to recognize the joys and advantages of being the age that we are? The quote from Anaïs Nin expresses it well. It is more painful to be a victim and detest something than it is to risk making the most of a situation and actually blossoming where you are, doing what you do, and being the age you are.

Are you willing to make the effort to bloom where you are planted? Are you willing to take control of your life and to love yourself at the age you are? If you are, you will also blossom with AgeEsteem.

            Bonnie Fatio

Spring Showers Can Boost Your Age Esteem

It’s raining !

Spring brings rain where I live in Europe. Lots of rain.

Sitting here on the bus I hear others complaining that “enough is enough”. It has rained for five consecutive days.

I love walking in the rain. As a child I used to beg my mother to let me go outside and stomp through the puddles. Sister Susie and I would take a couple pans from the kitchen, so we could concoct a witches’ brew with wet leaves, flower petals and some wiggly worms. We hated it when Mom called us inside.

Even today I love walking in the rain. Stomping in puddles with my grandchildren is still a favorite experience. Rain is refreshing and renewing. It seems to wash away worries, leaving room for new ideas and expression.

These feelings of renewal and playfulness are important to our age-esteem. They help us live the age we are with joy and pizzazz. In AgeEsteem: Growing a Positive Attitude Toward Aging, chapter 2, page 16, tells the story of breaking loose from our programed behavior and to begin Singing in the Rain to free the child within you.

When we let the child within us come out to play, we use all of our senses. It frees us to raise our faces to the sky to feel the raindrops, and even taste them. We smell the newness of nature, listen to the sound of the rain on different surfaces, watch drops seemingly bounce on the sidewalk, and laugh with pure joy as we also renew and revitalize our age-esteem.

Bonnie Fatio

At last, I have found a new term to describe many of our modern young girls. – Girls who are much more than beautiful or pretty or cute. It is an expression to replace the plastic face and figure of Barbie with the depth and potential within the uniqueness of these girls.

It began when our ten-year-old granddaughter shared with me her history homework about the Middle Ages. It is an interesting historical period to study because there is the romantic concept of knights and royalty.

I made the comment to her that the Renaissance period will be even more interesting since she is a Renaissance Girl. That tickled her interest. “What is a Renaissance Girl?”, she asked. – And I realized that I had found the perfect term to describe her qualities.

She is a normal preteen. She does not excel in everything. However, she is a versatile, well-rounded person who is active in many different areas. She is fascinated by math, science, history, nature, travel to new places, and devours books and masters technology. She is active in sports, can play a tune on the piano, sing and hip-hop. She also has a good sense of humor and says what she thinks.

Yes, she is a Renaissance Girl!

I wish someone had given me that title as a preteen. You see, Age Esteem begins when you are young. How you see yourself and feel about yourself at each age and stage in life influences how you grow old and even your longevity.

Helping young girls recognize themselves as Renaissance Girls is also good for our age-esteem and health today, because intergenerational relationships keep us up-to-date and relevant, and therefore more vital.

Bonnie Fatio

“You’re a bunch of old fogies”, my father told the homeowners. He spoke in his deep, commanding voice that made people sit up and listen, whether they wanted to or not.  It was an authoritative tone that often left people speechless.

His less than diplomatic outburst was because in the adult community where he lived people had forgotten how to interact with youth. To live there you must be 12 years old or older, and most residents were at least 65.

Why the excitement? Someone had rented their home to a family with teenagers.  And the teenagers made noise when they went to the pool in the evening. – Not raucous noise, but enough to be heard, just like the adults could be heard at the pool during the daytime.

In the eyes of the majority it was clear that something had to be done. Surely the youth were drinking, and maybe even taking drugs!

My dad was the only person who had taken an interest in the young people sitting around the pool. He had asked them questions and gotten to know them. Dad knew the kids at the pool were from the High School baseball team. Talk was about their latest game. Their drinks, which were sodas, were in plastic glasses to keep with the pool rules.

When Dad took his evening walk he made it a habit to go by the pool and to chat with them. They were “good kids” in his opinion and had the same right to bring friends to the pool as any other member of the community.

Certainly calling people “old fogies” is not recommended if you want people to listen to you. However, the story has a good message. Let’s not judge people of other generations by assumptions and generalities. Let’s chat with each other, work together, and take time to know each other as individuals.

An important key of age-esteem is to remain relevant, and to have active interaction with people of all generations.

Bonnie Fatio

Maya Angelou had a way of expressing profound statements in simple language that we could easily understand. Age was not an issue for her. She liked herself, liked what she did and liked how she did it. She was highly successful in expressing her thoughts.

Maya Angelou was an excellent example and advocate for AgeEsteem. She was and remains a role model of a person aging with confidence, conviction and commitment. Her self-esteem and age-esteem manifested in all that she did and said. It was expressed in her humor, her poetry and her manner of living.

Success at every age is about loving yourself, enjoying what you do, and liking how you do it.

Bonnie Fatio

This poster speaks to me and my age-esteem. – And it speaks even louder as I gather years. It isn’t how many years I have lived or how many more years I may have. It is how much I have lived during my years here on Earth.

None of us knows how long we will live or what may lie ahead on our path. That is not in our control. What we do influences how we live each day.

Are you truly living your life? Ask yourself these five questions to get started.

• Am I fully present for others? When I am with them am I truly ‘with’ them?
• Do I consciously use my senses of sight, sound, smell, feel and taste?
• Am I doing something that will positively influence the lives of others, even though I may never see the results?
• Do I laugh each day and celebrate often?
• Do I live with emotion, passion and joy?

Add to these questions what makes you feel that you are fully “alive” as you live each day. I would love to hear your thoughts.

One of the keys to age-esteem is to live each day. Make the most of now!

Bonnie Fatio

We often have more time to reflect on our lives when we are older. The fact that we are in control of our thoughts and our thoughts influence our happiness becomes even more evident. This is especially obvious when our minds drift back to what has happened in the past, or to what might happen in the future.

Happiness is within us. Each of us can find what makes us happy, if we want to. However, sometimes we get lost wallowing in our misery. It seems easier to be a victim of circumstances and place the blame for our misery on others.

Well get over it! If you want to be happy, just BE happy! It is as simple as that.

Hard to believe? Trust me, it can be done. Here are three simple exercises to help you begin.

1. Read the message on the balloon at the top of this page and ask yourself, “How much energy do I waste either regretting something from the past, or worrying about something that might happen today or tomorrow that I have no control over?”

Each time that you begin to worry, feel sad or unhappy, ask yourself whether you can do something about it. Can you prevent an earthquake? No. Can you bring someone back who has died? No. Can you take back cruel words spoken in anger? No. So don’t harbor them. Move on to new thoughts. – Happy thoughts.

2. Project your thinking towards what makes you feel good. Act on what makes you happy. Go for a walk in nature. Invite friends for a tea party. Phone a grandchild or cousin who makes you smile. Do something that makes you feel good.

Tip: When you speak with friends or family and they ask you how you are, simply say, “Fine, thank you.” Think of something interesting and uplifting you can share with them, like how beautiful the sunset was, a book you are reading, or a funny memory that you share. Others like to hear happiness in your voice.

3. Become allergic to the negative people around you. You know the ones I mean. They are the energy vampires who leave you feeling exhausted and depressed because of their negativity. Remove these people from your life. Replace them with people who give you energy, who are positive, supportive and encouraging to you. They are the ones who are already champions at letting go of what they cannot change. Use them as role models.

As you practice these suggestions, you will find that your happiness will increase, as will your age-esteem. You are in control.

Bonnie Fatio