Today marks the First International Day for the Elimination of Sexual Violence in Conflict, June 19, 2016.
Sexual violence in conflict touches all ages and damages lives for ever. Yet rape and sexual violence have only recently been recognised as a war crime and a crime against humanity. Join me in recognising the importance of this day.
Bonnie Fatio
The Older Woman’s Love
“The older woman’s love is not love of herself, nor of herself mirrored in a lover’s eyes, nor is it corrupted by need. It is a feeling of tenderness so still and deep and warm that it gilds every grass blade and blesses every fly. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” – Germaine Greer
Are You Lonely?
People with age esteem know it is important to have friends from diverse generations. As we get older, friends of our own generation and older may no longer be present to visit and chat. It is important to have younger friends as well.
This was again brought to my attention when a friend sent me the following story from an English newspaper.
“An elderly couple called 999 because they were lonely and officers responded by going round for a cup of tea.
Two police constables from Greater Manchester Police were sent to the home of Fred Thomson and his 95-year-old wife after she called the emergency services suggesting her husband was having difficulties.
The police constable said he and a colleague arrived at the house believing the husband may have had a fall but found “the couple did not need medical attention and in fact the call had been made out of desperation”.
The couple offered the officers a cup of tea. They were desperate for conversation and the presence of others.”
Remain in contact with your friends and call on them when you want company. Invite them over for a cup of coffee or tea. I have several older friends who do this regularly, and I am always delighted when I am able to spend time with them. I also invite friends of multiple generations to my home. I treasure their friendships.
Are you lonely? Then either get out of the house and go where you will see others or phone a friend to come visit. Chances are others are lonely, too. Share your age esteem.
Bonnie Fatio
A Child’s Hand
“What feeling in all the world is so nice as that of a child’s hand in yours? What tenderness it arouses, what power it conjures. You are instantly the very touchstone of wisdom and strength.” – Marjorie Holmes
Positive Decisions
This morning I had my visit to my cardiologist for a sonar gram and stress test. I always enjoy visits with him. However, we are on the opposite sides of Lake Geneva during the summer and it is an hour and a half dive through heat and traffic. So I decided to turn my trip into an excursion.
Was it shorter? Not by much. It was, however, fun! My husband dropped me off at the pier where the lake steamers dock. I crossed in the crisp morning air with commuters on their way to work on the opposite shore. Then I hiked up the hill to the train station where the cog rail train would whisk me up the Jura Mountainside to the clinic. I felt wonderfully relaxed and refreshed when I arrived.
After seeing my doctor I made another decision. There is only one train each hour. I could race to catch the one that would pass within the next few minutes or I could wait for the next one. I chose to enjoy the moment and wait for the next train.
I decided to stay in the now and enjoy the moment. So here I am sitting on the terrace of the clinic completely tuned into the world around me. The view peaking out of the warm haze is spectacular. The mountains are barely visible. The world is quiet up here except for the harmonious cowbells ringing on the grazing cows. (Yes, there really are cows in Swiss pastures, and they do wear bells.)
These have been good decisions. Instead of driving home through the heat and traffic I will again board the train and boat and arrive home refreshed.
A key to age esteem is to make decisions, knowing you are in control. Sometimes, as with mine today, these decisions can slow down your day and allow you to be truly present in the joy of the moment.
Bonnie Fatio
I Am What I Am
“During much of life I was anxious to be what someone else wanted me to be. Now I have given up that struggle. I am what I am.” – Elizabeth Coatsworth
Cookies, Milk And A Nap
“Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about 3 o’clock every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap.” – Barbara Jordan
This Is Your Lucky Day!
On a recent flight to the U.S. from Switzerland I was seated towards the front of the plane for the 11-hour flight. As is often the case when I fly, I boarded the plane early and stood next to my place and watched passengers as they boarded.
More often than not travellers think that I am one of the flight attendants. This is probably because my travelling attire is a navy blue pantsuit. Passengers ask me all kinds of questions that I sometimes answer. I pride myself in knowing that row 46 is most assuredly towards the back of the plane, etc. There are also some destinations that I prefer because of the attitude of the travellers from those areas, especially in Midwestern U.S. People from those regions bring basic values on board with them. They are happy to help others and are exceptionally polite to the flight attendant’s double – me.
As often happens on full flights, families get separated with seats scattered throughout the aircraft. This happened on one of my flights to Minneapolis from Amsterdam. A grandfather was seated alone in the center section where he would definitely need assistance to get out. When one of the daughters started showing stress over the situation, the young woman next to the grandfather smiled and said that it would be no problem. She would take care of him. She and the grandfather, who were just across the isle from me, had such a good time that neither even slept. And, when it was time to disembark, the elderly gentleman would offer his arm only to his young seat mate to help him out.
Let’s now return to the front of the plane on this same flight. Two rows in front of me was a couple sitting together and chatting. Shortly a woman came and announced loudly to the man, “I think you are in my assigned seat!” It was an excellent seat with extra legroom so I anticipated that he might try to keep it. Indeed he did, but not in the way that one would anticipate. He leaned towards the woman and said, “I am, and this is your lucky day! I have just bumped into this old friend of mine and since I would like to sit with her I am offering you my assigned seat – in business class.” She obviously did not argue, but graciously accepted the exchange.
I like his expression. “This is your lucky day”. So often unexpected experiences do transform our day into a “lucky day”.
Bonnie Fatio
Happiest After Sixty
“Given three requisites – means of existence, reasonable health, and an absorbing interest – those years beyond 60 can be the happiest and most satisfying of a lifetime.” – Earnest Elmo Calkins
Keep Moving Towards Your Dream
Does your dream seem too big and too far away? Don’t give up. Keep your dream alive in your thoughts and move towards it one step at a time.
Life moves one step at a time. Something I learned while working with children with very special needs years ago is that you must recognize the little successes that keep us moving in the right direction. Even though we sometimes think we are off course, my experience proves time and again that we never really are. We simply stop along the path to smell the roses or turn over a rock. And from each little detour we learn something precious for the future. You are moving towards what you desire with little steps.
Keep moving towards your dream, one step at a time and enjoy the journey.
Bonnie Fatio
