It’s a New Year

And a New You,

Let us all cheer

For our New View

Of this Life and its Age Esteem

Fulfilling every newest dream.

Written by Alexandra Taylor for AgeEsteem®

Two Thousand and Twelve,

Imagine!  It’s here!

The start of another

Wonderful year.

Make resolutions and

Make them to last;

Live in the Present,

Inspired by the Past.

Growing old is not as bad as it seems;

Model each day by the book Age Esteem!

Written by Alexandra Taylor for AgeEsteem®

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Today is celebrated as Thanksgiving Day in several countries of the world.  But isn’t every day a day of thanksgiving?  We have so much to be thankful for !  Even on the days that seem to be grey and dismal when we want to complain, we can be thankful that we are capable of complaining.  It means that we realize that life could be better and that we still have higher aspirations than just what today may bring.

Gratitude is an important facet of age esteem.  Gratitude, feeling thankful because we recognize our blessings, is key to feeling good about yourself at the age you are today.   What are you thankful for?

I am thankful to be capable of thinking and learning.

I am thankful for my sight, that makes it possible to bask in the beauty of nature.

I am thankful for my hearing and to enjoy laughter and the rustling of leaves.

I am thankful for my arms that make it possible to hug.

I am thankful for my voice and being able to express my thoughts aloud.

I am thankful to feel emotions, especially love.

I am thankful to smell the freshness of the air after a storm.

I am thankful for Age Esteem.

I am thankful for family and friends.

I am thankful for those without names who have touched my life.

I am thankful for those who share their goodness.

I am thankful for YOU.

Bonnie Fatio

Ann Banner, 62, NC, USA

I think that when I hear AgeEsteem it is how you feel at any point in your life whether you’re considered young, middle aged or older.  Naturally by being over 60 now, it is how I feel about myself and being over 60 years old.

I think more recently I’ve given aging more thought because in my immediate area and among the people I grew up with, I see a lot of people I went to high school with who are dying in their mid- 60’s.   It concerns me not so much because I feel that I’m next, but because I do wonder what is it about our age group that seems to be more prevalent.  Then I fear that since years are going by there are things that I have to consider because I won’t live another 62 years.  I don’t know if it is so much a fear as it is a concern.

Ann’s Tips: I’m probably harder on myself than on other people.  I find myself telling other people things that I really should be speaking to myself about.  But when my younger co-workers say, “Oh is it 5 o’clock yet?”  I’m often heard to say, “Someone wishes they had all day.”  So don’t wish your life away.  I think that because I see time going by so fast, or seemingly so fast, I just think people ought to treasure that voice.  I find myself saying that a lot.  I try to live each day to the fullest.

I think that if people are honest with themselves they’ll realize there are things that they don’t like about themselves, but it’s the only self they’re going to get.  I guess what I would say is what I say to myself.   Emphasize those things that you do well.  We all have some, like a good sense of humor or patience, tolerance, understanding of other people, being less critical of other people.  Those things are all a part of our esteem and I think if we stopped and realized what is good that we can share with other people, we would feel better about ourselves.  That is where it starts.  If we’re not happy within we sure can’t share it.  Misery loves company.  That’s for sure.  I think people often seek out other people who don’t feel good either.  If you go to another person and you feel bad, you’re probably going to go to the person that’s going to agree with you, and that’s not always the best thing to do.

Ann Banner is a public health pediatric nurse working primarily with the pediatric residents from Chapel Hill, NC, USA

Bonnie Fatio

Hendrica Okondo, 55, Kenya

AgeEsteem makes me think of feisty, fantastic wise women.

I think my fear of aging is that people will forget that I’m intelligent and I can still do the things I did when I was younger and that they will do things for me instead of ask me.

Hendrica’s Tips: I think the passion to live and just feeling blessed that I’m alive.  I thought I would die at 50.  And here I am meeting all these lovely young people.  I like women especially because there is always a story and they always want to know more about people.  I want to know what their stories are.  That’s what makes me excited.

I am in a line of work that keeps me in contact with like-minded people.  I don’t think it matters where they are.  I’ve met highly powerful women like Michelle Bachelet who is very down to earth and very nice, and I’ve met women in the village in Sudan who were fun to be with just sitting under a tree.  They can laugh at what they went through during the war and still find time to ask whether I have a husband and where are my children.  I think women wherever they are have this personal touch and that is what I love about them.

I think you should affirm yourself and not be concerned with what people think about you.  Just be clear that you are beautiful, not according to the model in the magazine, but beautiful with a good heart.  If you have a beautiful smile it makes it even better.  I think if you pick something you are enthusiastic about, even volunteer, it is good.  I was very inspired by two very important women coming in the other day just to help write certificates for speakers at the Women’s Summit.  That is very inspiring.  It shows just how committed and how engaged they are, which means that they are not sitting at home thinking, I’m lucky I’m bored.  No, they are just ready to go out and help.  It is the kind of thing I find in my village where you find grandmothers who are ready to come to church at any time and to decorate the church. –  They’re ready to do any work that you want them to do.  At the end of it you can all sit around and just laugh.  (I’m sorry you don’t have Hendrica’s contagious laugh live.  She shares it generously.)  I think that laughter just makes it easier.  I have great admiration for the women at the world office of the YWCA .  They work really very hard, and sometimes when things are going terribly wrong they just sit down and laugh.  I think it is a strength that keeps you going.

We need to stay current.  I love my job.  I get to talk about sex to women and they seem very shocked when I do because somehow I don’t think that my face looks like someone talking about sex.  I’m a Catholic, and I love to talk to Catholics about sex, because the Pope should have nothing to say about sex since he doesn’t practice it.  Especially in the continent I work in where we have 6 million young women that were born positive.  They have the virus.  So I get very angry when people say we want a virus free world,   These kids will never lead a virus free life, but they do want to have sex.  They also watch television and they know that relationships are what makes a young person.  If we do not tell them how to protect themselves, we will not reach the target of zero transmission.  They will do it secretly and they will transmit the virus.  This is a reality.  You can’t preach abstinence to someone who already has the virus.  So it becomes very serious work and I believe that women have a right to make decisions about their own bodies.  I definitely think if you want to have an abortion and you have information and you make a conscious decision and you understand the consequences you should have a right to safe and proper services to have the abortion.

Hendrica Okondo is Global manager for reproductive health and rights and HIV, and also the focal point for Africa at the World Office of the YWCA.

Bonnie Fatio

Mary E.  Kinhardt 73, CA, USA

Age esteem is something I’ve been thinking about a lot.  It is to value myself where I am in my life now, and the things I’m able to do.  It’s a bit of a challenge to see all the younger people and the things they can do, the places they go, the places they study and what their hopes are for the future. Mine are different now.  I recently moved to a retirement community because I wanted, in my mind at least, get to know what it means to be at this stage in life and being 73 in a retirement community. There are a lot of people in their late 70s, 80s, 90s.  When I get up each day I am challenged to think this is where I am, what can I do?

Obviously I’m here at the CSW (Commission on the Status of Women) at the United Nations in New York (where I interviewed her) because I think it is important to keep current with what the global women’s movement is doing.  I feel valued when I’m here for what I did for women over the years  and I really want to give the leadership over to the younger women and follow their guide.  This has been a time for me to learn how to live in a retirement community and also how to be a part of CSW at this stage in my life.

Health is a big concern.  I see what happens to the health of many people as they get older.  I guess I don’t want to go to the doctors that some of them go to or to the hospitals to get the procedures that some of them get.  I’m scared about what happens to people health-wise.  I’m trying to be optimistic and be thankful for the health I have now which is really pretty good.  So I’m just trying to trust God to help me at every stage.  He’s gotten me this far!   I do have medical insurance and doctors so I’m trying not to worry about that.

Mary E.’s Tips: My organization is The Grail.  We’ve had teenagers with us here and just seeing their vitality and imagining what they will get into as they go along makes me think this is really worth-while. This morning the YWCA presented the worship with women from Armenia, Belize and Japan.  It is heartening to see how they are moving forward.   Seeing them here now is thanks to what women (of which she is one) have done in the past.  That gives me energy.

I take care of my health and try to eat properly, get enough sleep and try not to get stressed out.  I try not to take on more things than I can do.  Use the privileges that you get when you are older like riding the NY subways and having people get up to give me their seats.  They don’t want this old lady landing in their laps!  I also avoid certain places that could get me into trouble.  Use practical common sense like trying to be conservative financially.

Life is basically good.  Sometimes you have to wait for the miracle to happen when things get tough, but try to remember that if you feel this way today you probably won’t feel this way tomorrow.  So live one day at a time.  Not to be worried about the future or to be stewing over what happened in the past but try to remember when things get tough, well they’re not going to stay this way.  Just go on.  Spirituality plays a role in my own consciousness.

Mary Kinhardt is an activist around women’s  affairs with a deep concern about the spiritual dimension of life.

Bonnie Fatio

Daniel Meylan, 76, Paris, France

Age esteem?  Esteem is already important alone.  With age it is even more important.  It is good to put them together.  We’re not so old.  We must continue to esteem ourselves and to care for ourselves well, not let ourselves go.

Daniel’s Tips:  I force myself not to let go of what I have always done.  I oblige myself to stay physically fit and to not be a vegetable.  I walk a lot.  A couple weeks ago I fell because I was racing to catch a bus.  It was a lesson.  I will not do that again.  It has taken me these weeks to recuperate my normal way of walking, which has to do with regaining confidence.

At present I have a problem.  If I don’t know people, I have a difficult time to carry on a conversation like I used to.  I am destabilized because I don’t find my words like I used to.  As a result I panic which makes it worse.  To improve this I am going to a coach specialized in helping me find the words that I have lost.  It is a long journey.  I completely stopped speaking at a certain point and now I am trying to recuperate the vocabulary I’ve lost.  I’ve also lost much of my English and my German.  Now I force myself to make conversation with others.  I actively engage in social occasions.

For the intellectual side I read books on the Middle Ages to learn about that era.  It is very difficult for me to concentrate, but I insist on doing it.  It is also another way to recuperate some of my words.

It’s also important to be with family, with the grandchildren regularly.

I go to a center for older people several times a week.  There is a woman there who is 100.  She manages to keep physically and mentally fit and is a strong role model for me.  She is well dressed.  I am considered someone who is still completely present.  I feel comfortable there but sometimes wonder why I go.  I am still completely independent which isn’t the case for most.  I get there and home by my own means.  I want to keep my autonomy.  It’s important for me.

We go there to live as well as possible as long as possible.  I am in the section that designs and paints in the morning and does gymnastics in the afternoon, though I am in much better physical form than the others.

I am strict with myself for all questions of remaining in shape.

Bonnie Fatio

Don Adams, 78, USA

Age esteem is both for yourself inwardly and outwardly.  It is two different things.  One is esteem for yourself and the other is to encourage other senior folks to have high esteem for themselves.

One of my biggest concerns with aging is to not forget things. – To have the capacity to keep all the things going that I have a need to keep going for myself and my family.  I have the concern about being able to do that. – All the myriad of things that one does on a day to day basis.  If you lose track of some, the impact of not getting those things done, especially if you are the only person aware of the need to do it, may have an impact on family and friends.

One of my big concerns is to try to insure that I do whatever I can do day by day to contribute to the future life for my wife, Lynne, so if something were to happen to me she can have some reasonable life and not have a life of being in poverty.

Don’s Tips: Try to expand your sense of humor, not taking yourself too seriously.  Constantly evaluate and reevaluate all the things you have had that were important to you and things that you felt that you had to do and other people had to do to test those against reality.  Determine is this really true or do you need to rethink or re-evaluate?  Open up your thoughts, which I think is very important.  It’s not just thoughts; it’s all aspects of your life – not getting in ruts, not being willing to look outside the things you have been holding dear or sacred.

My advice to myself would have been to not have a double bypass operation.  I should have exercised more and watched my habits in eating, etc.   I would recommend that to other people. Unfortunately for some like with me this has taken place over my whole life time, so what is in my arteries is in my arteries.  Develop the skill and ability to communicate to people.  If you find me giving advice understand that if you chose not to take it that it’s ok.  You can do something with it or not do something with it.

You have to keep expanding your circle in all areas of your life whether it’s with people, skills, or whatever.  Keep trying to expand and not just live within what is familiar and what has been part of your life.  Do not say this is wonderful; it cannot be improved upon.  Expand in all areas.

Don Adams and his family have lived in Belgium and England as well as the USA.

Bonnie Fatio

Beth Linguri, 74, USA

When I hear Age Esteem what comes to mind for me is to really love yourself and esteem yourself.  Give yourself honor for who you are and what you are, whatever wisdom you have gained in your lifetime, whatever age you are.  I have a number of chronological years.  I’m grateful for them.  I’ve had lots of experience, lots of wisdom, lots of things I have gained during that time to honor and to share.

The concern I have is physical aging.  Any physical manifestations that would get my way of doing what I believe and know that I want to do, have to do. – My mission so to speak.  My chosen mission for these next years is important.  I am concerned about any physical ailment that would stand in the way.  For example I did have severe arthritis in my knee joints which prohibited me from walking or standing as long as I wanted to, so I was able to solve that with surgery.  But anything else that might get in the way is a concern of mine.

Beth’s tips: There are two things that I do.  I pay close attention to my nutrition and I don’t take any medication, only food supplements, and I avoid stressful situations because I feel stress is an unnecessary aging factor.  I like to learn to deal with stress in a positive way.  The other thing is that I do a lot of activity.  I do Yoga.  I walk.  I do a lot of physical activity and mental activity to unify my body and soul and spirit and to allow my spirit to really direct my activities.

I would offer the following advice.   The first is to respect and love yourself.  It all begins with that.  Take care of yourself.  Nurture yourself.  Respect your time and your abilities and be true to yourself.   I think that is so important at whatever age you are.  I think the second thing to do is to live a life of service.  I think once you are true to yourself you know that you have much to give and much to offer, so you share and you find your niche in a life of service to others.
Provide a venu for people to meet in a community to share and to grow in their own true selves and their own spiritual nature.

Beth Linguri will be hosting a conference Aug. 19-21st near Geneva, Switzerland to nurture self and spirit.  www.ThePeaceConference.com

Bonnie Fatio

Who are these two people?  What were their life journeys like?  Where did they come from?  How did their lives evolve?

No matter who they were, our lives are somehow interrelated.  Their lives, like ours, represent lessons learned, events experienced, roads traveled and relationships built. – All of this was part of their own age esteem; it is part of the legacy of life’s lessons that they passed on to others.

In AgeEsteem: Growing A Positive Attitude Toward Aging I share a chapter “My Legacy of Wisdom” which suggests how you might leave your own Legacy of Life’s Lessons.  Why not begin doing this now?  Then when future generations look at your picture, they will know the answers to the questions we asked about the couple pictured above.

• What are some of the lessons that you have learned through experience?  For examples see “Put More Energy Into Your Age Esteem“.
• Keep a diary of these lessons as they come to mind.
• Rewrite these lessons to share with others.  You may wish to make a book of these lessons, design them into a collage, or put them into the form of a will.

Being able to use the past with its experience of living is a gift I have to share. –  Bonnie Fatio