Friends at the 50th reunion reinforced studies I have read.  Those who were aging well were not necessarily the most physically fit and healthy.  Instead they were the ones with healthy attitudes.  Cancer, strokes, pain, paralysis and bankruptcy did not hold these healthy attitudes back.  Rather they were the ones we sought out first.  They exuded age esteem.

• We were drawn by their contagious laughter.
• They were genuinely interested in listening to the stories of others.
• They embraced the opportunity to play, to release their inner child.
• Their health was a minor event in their life story which was filled with family, friends,  accomplishments and contributions.
• They dwell on the positives of life.

Bonnie Fatio

Jeannie Slaughter, 57, USA

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear Age Esteem is enthusiasm.  I’m fascinated by the title.  Age Esteem is natural for me.  It  follows in every ladder or level for me.  If you don’t have enthusiasm for whatever you do, then why do it?  As trite as that sounds.  Do what you love.

Jeannie’s tips:  Be introspective.  Think about what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, if you’re doing it well.  Do you look in the mirror and like what you see?  Not just external, but internal.  It’s all part of being alive and being in the world and glad to be there.  Everyone should serve.  It’s not enough to be good, you need to love what you do and have that service aspect.  Yes, it’s important to be in a position to make someone else happy.

Isabel Contreras, 57, Switzerland

What comes to mind when I hear Age Esteem is having self esteem so that when you age you will feel good about yourself.  Age Esteem is about having self esteem while aging.  I suppose that for me aging is once you reach 55 onwards.

Isabel’s Tips: Because I am very active in the work that I do, my own concern with aging is that I want to look relatively fresh.  I feel very young inside so therefore I would like to look very young on the outside – and I know and see that gravity is inevitable in aging.  Sometimes I’m concerned about that.

Positive thinking is key.  I maintain a positive attitude in everything I do.  I keep my dreams high, exercise,  read positive books, and avoid being with negative people.  I think that has been the most important thing.

I would say that to age well you need to enjoy every day of your life, to greet every morning with love in your heart, and to be grateful to be alive and to enjoy every day as a gift from God.

Isabel Contreras is founder of  Life Motivations and an international trainer.

Unfortunately being older does not make us immune to stress.  In fact it may bring even more as we juggle grandchildren and caring for our own parents while trying to carve out time for ourselves.  We are told that there is good stress and bad stress, but it might be better to have no stress at all!

Mother Nature provides us with many effective aids to combat stress.  A lovely walk in the countryside or in the mountains or along a river will lower blood pressure, oxygenate your body and enable you to forget your worries and problems.  Depending upon the season, there is much to see such as trees and flowers in blossom and vegetables bursting forth in all their colorful glory.  How beautiful it is to see a field of sunflowers, bright yellow and tall, all having turned their heads to look at you as you pass by.  They might make you laugh and this is “the best medicine”.  In colder months, we see the beautiful colors of turning leaves, and even in winter we can be refreshed when outside and getting physical exercise. Just looking at nature soothes the soul.

Regardless of the season being in the warm sun for a while can calm you as well.

Also to soak in a warm bubble bath, preferably with relaxing oils such as lavender, chamomile, jasmine, rose or sandalwood will do wonders for your well-being.

A swim in the ocean will increase endorphins which will give you a euphoric feeling.

Studies have shown that sugar and low-fat carbohydrates are very effective in lowering anxiety. This is due to a chemical reaction in the brain.  Sugar works more quickly than carbohydrates but both successfully create a calming effect, and even chewing gum aids in relieving anxiety. When feeling overwrought and overburdened just have some chocolate, other sweets.

Finally to end a stressful day there is nothing more rewarding than a delicious meal and a glass of wine, again bounties coming from the earth.  So, enjoy and no longer feel stressed. – Just take the time!

Grandma Nature

Helen Drew 59, English

When I hear the term Age Esteem I think of the value that older people can bring. – And that would be from the experience that they bring.  If I think personally I think in my life I’ve done many interesting and very different things, and the nice thing to do would be to pass that on to other people.  Of course we do pass them on to our children, which is actually quite difficult.  Often the children don’t appreciate your experience and they don’t really want to listen; but eventually they get to the age when they do.  I have constantly reinvented myself I think. Whatever I started out doing when I left University at 22, I’ve used that experience but I don’t do the same thing now.

Helen’s Tips: I’m very into what I eat and I eat very carefully.  I’ve trained myself to eat carefully.  I make sure I always do some exercise because you also feel better if you do exercise.  And when I get up in the morning I like to have the lot of my day planned out.  I like to know what I’m going to do.  That for me is my raison d’être, my purpose.

I like to think young but I like to look young as well.  I like to keep abreast of fashions.  When I was growing up in the UK the saying for ladies who dressed slightly younger than their age was “mutton dressed as lamb”.  I love to be a mutton dressed as a lamb and I enjoy people who are dressed a lot younger than they probably should be dressing.  Just because I am my age I will still occasionally wear high heeled shoes or platform shoes if I like it.  I will tailor my look for the fashion of that season and I will always buy new clothes every year.

There is always something new to learn and there is always something new you can be doing.  I’m training my mother who’s 81.  I just persuaded her to buy a laptop and I’m training her on how to use it.  She’s a bit nervous about it but we’ve got the email sussed (figured out) and while I was training her I thought, “Oh, I wonder, when I am 81 what will there be new for me to learn at that age?”  I think I will be up to learning it.

I was trained as a designer but didn’t paint for years.  It was only recently that I thought, “Well I’m not going to go down in history as a graphic designer or a trainer but maybe I can carve myself a small niche as a painter.”  I’ve taken on the new challenge of showing my paintings.  I’ve got three expositions coming up and I’ve just hired myself an agent which I think is a wonderful idea.  I hate selling my own work.  If someone else can do that for me I’ll be quite happy.

Helen Drew is a trainer, graphic designer and watercolorist.  Her exposition at the Gallery Chausse-Coqs in Geneva, Switzerland will take place December 5-23, 2010.

Inez Kirby 74, NY, USA

I think Age Esteem is not letting age become a factor in what you do in life, not giving in just because you’re old.  My mother is 96 and she’s one of the most young at heart people that I’ve met in my life.  I think that that affects all of us, her kids who are all now in their 70’s.  When we look at Mum and very productive older people  I always think it’s really funny when you hear someone of 30 say, “Oh my God.  I’m going to be 30.  I’m going to be so old!”  I’ve never ever felt that way in my life.  I always try to approach the age that I am and enjoy it for what it is because there is nothing much you can do about it.  You might just as well have a good time as best you can.  Obviously it’s not always possible, but just take life and do as much as you can and enjoy it as much as you can.

Inez’s Tips: Not looking in the mirror. (laughter) Because when I look in the mirror I see my father.  I think for me it’s an innate thing.  I’ve always been an optimist in life.  I’ve never really looked back and regretted too many things, and I always try to enjoy what I do.  Obviously my knees are giving out a little bit and I’m having the, you know, sans (without) teeth, sans hair, sans everything.  I enjoy plays, reading, music, friends, and especially family.  I think family is a big part of feeling good about my age.

Teresa Kaufman, 56, France

When I heard the term AgeEsteem the first time I thought it is truly learning or knowing how to get older in life and enjoy it and respect it. – And enjoy yourself as you get older.

It probably brought that to mind more than anything else because I’m here in Chamonix, France at the foot of the Mont Blanc where you have some of the greatest athletes in the world of mountain climbing and trail running, paragliding, delta planning, base jumping and sking.  I’ve seen so many people here afraid to get old and who do everything that they can to hide it.  It’s sad to see because they’re not going to win that game.  All they can do is fool themselves, but they can’t fool their surroundings.  Instead of fooling themselves, they should flaunt it and get older more beautifully in a handsome way.

Teresa’s Tips: The wording of age esteem and self esteem is so appropriate because I think you have to truly love yourself in order to hold your head up high through all different points in your life.  It’s something that I always appreciated seeing.  You can see it in someone walking down the street, just by the way they walk, the way they hold their body, the way they present themselves to other people.  It’s the way they present themselves to themselves in the mirror in the morning.

Our esteem comes and goes with life and good days and bad days.  Yesterday I said to a friend, “Today I’m in love with life.  I’ve got to take a picture because it won’t be like this tomorrow.  Let me take this picture because this is how I feel today.”  It’s being sensitive to the wonderful things in your life.  That could be a breeze.  It could be the light just before the sun goes down.  It could be birds singing in the morning.  It’s as simple as that.  That will help you enjoy your life.  And you can do that anywhere and under any conditions.  It’s about being sensitive to your environment. It’s my recipie for getting old in life.

Teresa Kaufman is a photographer whose photos capture the essence of life.

Suzanne Hough, 70, Oklahoma, USA

It means that you like the age you are in.  If you’re 40 you like being 40.  If you’re 66, you like being 66.  You don’t go moping around feeling depressed because you’re older than somebody else.

Susanne’s tips: You have to do something that you enjoy.  You have to have an avocation, some hobby that will give you pleasure and maybe eventually be meaningful to someone else.  Stay healthy so you can feel happy.  If you’re healthy you can do just about anything that you want.  And that’s the key.  You have to take care of yourself first before you try to take care of anybody else in the world.

Hardy Korver, 54, Netherlands

When I hear the term Age Esteem I think of you, Bonnie Fatio! (laughter)  What made me think about it even before my wife put your book AgeEsteem in front of me was the economic crisis.  I thought, “We’re throwing away a lot of experienced good people because of age.”  You see that the other generations that are now a bit more elderly didn’t screw up as much as mine.  It’s a good mix.  We should use the mix.  Mix high and low in both ages and experience.  Use them both.  We need both.  We need those people yet we’ve let them go way too soon and we haven’t really given them the respect and responsibility that they should still have.

I’m becoming a dinosaur myself.  In fact Age Esteem is written about me.  It effects my life too.  I am a dinosaur in my firm.  There are only three guys older than I am and I’m only 54, and feel like 45.  As juniors we ran to the older guys, but there aren’t any older guys left. Your wings are clipped when you’re older.  I don’t think I can do as much.  Or I can, but I’m not supposed to.  That is the problem where Age Esteem comes in.  You may live alone, but surely you are surrounded by others saying, “You can’t do that anymore.”

Hardy’s tips: Know the relativity of everything. Don’t dig yourself in too much to what you are doing at present because there is much more around you.

Get balance in your life.  Work is very important.  You get a lot out of it but grave yards are full of those people who couldn’t be missed.  I keep that in mind. Work hard and play hard.  At least if you play hard you enjoy other things.   I still have people around me who take four weeks holiday and the rest of the year they’re 100 km and hour, always.  I can’t believe that that’s good.  No one ever died from working hard.  They die because they don’t take a rest.  Relax some of the time.

It is more than just reloading the battery. I think that’s a poor description of just survival.  It’s getting inspiration, not only charging the battery but getting new ideas.  You don’t have the same energy as when you started out, so you have to grow.  It’s inspiration and that can only happen if you look around you in a different way.   I have gotten the nicest inspirations from very unexpected things that I see.  Like in Africa or my home, too.

Maureen Bell, 53, Canada

When I hear Age Esteem I think of being happy with who you are whatever.  Just being happy with who you are so that when you are 14 you don’t wish you were 21 and when you’re 50 not wishing you were 40. It’s living your life as it is, enjoying what you’re doing and not being conscious of how old you are.

Maureen’s Tips: I can’t say that I’m doing anything to prepare for my own age esteem other than living.  I never think, “Well I’m too old.”  I go and do it.  I ran the 10K because I realized I hadn’t run the 10K for awhile and it would be a fun thing to do.  I enjoyed the race and it got me onto a whole new level so that I started doing other things too.  I don’t really think about how old I am.  When it sort of comes to mind when I have a birthday and I add it up in my head I think, “Oh, gee, I’m older.”  It doesn’t bother me.

Maureen Bell is a financial specialist and treasure of the World YWCA.