Look out, here I come!  This next weekend my 50th High School Class Reunion will take place in Grove City, PA (population 8027) and I will return to my teenage roots in small town USA.

Have 50 years really passed since we walked down the aisle to receive our diplomas?  So much has happened since then.  Will I recognize ‘old’ classmates?  Will they remember me?  I guess the only way to find out is to attend, so I’m on my way.  Chances are that I will even win the prize for coming the furthest, since most have remained closer to the town where we learned together.  Geneva, Switzerland will seem very far away to most.

I am convinced that it will be a wonderful experience to reconnect with old friends and to renew precious friendships.  And an opportunity to say “Thank you” to those who have left lasting imprints.

Bonnie Fatio

They say it takes more muscles to frown than to smile.  I believe that it also takes more energy to have a negative attitude than to have a positive one.  It’s easier to enjoy the moment than to waste energy worrying about what might happen tomorrow.

If you have trouble finding the positives, try this simple exercise.

Surround yourself with nature.  Take a walk in a park, in the countryside, or even your own back yard.  Sit quietly and discover the life around you.  Watch the leaves swaying in the breeze and the insects in the grass.  Listen to the birds.  Smell the flowers.  Breathe in the fresh air.

When the Creator designed our world, it was with a tremendous imagination and purpose.  Watching an inch worm persistently climb a stalk is a wonderful lesson in positive attitude.  Listening to the happy trill of a singing bird reminds us to sing with our own joy.  Going barefoot in the grass helps us touch down with our inner child and that wonderful time in life when we had no responsibilities, helping us to put life into perspective.

It’s easier to wear a positive attitude when we remember the little miracles of this world: the song of the lark, the journey of the inch worm and the feel of grass between our toes. – And to realize that we too are each one of God’s wonders.

Bonnie Fatio

Do you enjoy exchanging a hello and “How are you today?” with people you meet?

Yesterday when I greeted a sales clerk in that manner, she shot back “It’s the worst day of my life.  Nothing could possibly be worse!”  Her face scowled and became ugly with her disgust.  I felt attacked by her answer.  It was as though the only thing that could make her day better would be to ruin mine.

“Then this is your lucky day.” I responded.  “It can only get better!”  She looked at me as though I had thrown cold water in her face.  It momentarily changed her thought pattern as she tried to decide how to react.

I didn’t mean to be flip, but she was nurturing her sour and negative attitude.  She didn’t need to dwell of her sorrows.  She also had the option to say, “If this is the worst day of my life,  it will soon be in the past. – And my life will improve.

July is a month of independence.  And not just for the United States and France.  It is also the month of the independence of Burundi, Rwanda, Algeria, Cape Verde Islands, Argentina, Solomon Islands…

Independence is a key word when it comes to age esteem.  It is a major concern as we age. – To lose our independence and become dependent on others.  It is a real concern, one that we should take seriously. – Especially since much of our independence is based on our attitude.

You can be visually impaired, deaf, or lacking normal mobility and still be independent.  Yes, you will have to accept care and guidance from others for some of your daily needs, maybe even most of them.  However, you are the one to decide how you will accept this help and what your relationship with the care givers will be.  Will it be one of appreciation and reciprocation?  Will you make it agreeable for others to help you, and maybe even make it a highlight of your care giver’s day?

Independence comes through doing what we can.  That may be listening actively, smiling, sharing, giving your support and encouragement, being grateful…   Independence is manifested through our own positive attitude.

In the middle of all these penguins, there is one who jumps up and sings, “I gotta be me, I just gotta be me”.

It is a humorous image since all penguins seem to look and act alike.  And yet it is also an image that rings a bell in each of us.  We all want to “be me”.  We want to shine in our unique talents and to be recognized for our personal characters.  We want to count for who we are rather than as just another number.  We want to be loved for who we are.

This is true at every age.  It is especially apparent when we are older and feel packaged as part of a group of empty nesters, pre-retirees, retirees, seniors,…  We can easily feel like the penguin who is sick of just being seen as one of  the pack.  We too want to “be me”.

• Take stock of your unique talents, skills and qualities.  What are you good at?
• Define your key values, the values that you live by and are not willing to give up.
• Look at what you love to do, what motivates you.
• Think about the contributions you have made, how you have shared your talents and values.
• Celebrate the person you are!

What a bummer to be settled into your seat for a trans-Atlantic flight only to learn that due to engine trouble you are headed back to the gate. – And you must remain aboard  during  two hours of mechanical repairs!  That’s what just happened to us on our return flight to Europe.

And yet, what ended up as a four hour delay also turned out to be an enlightening experience.

Not being one to sit quietly, I stood in the aisle and began chatting with  people.   I even interviewed several on what the term AgeEsteem meant to them as they heard it for the first time.  It’s a great icebreaker as well as an interesting source of information.

These spontaneous conversations also highlighted  the dedication and concern ordinary people have for others.  So much goodness around us.  Among the people I spoke with were two women on their way to Uganda for two weeks to work in a project with children who are HIV positive.  One was a student in International Studies for whom it would be her first experience in Africa.  It was a second trip to the project for the other woman, a banker using her vacation to work at the project.  Her first trip working with these children had changed her whole outlook, giving her a new perspective.on life.  She was eager to return.

Another very special conversation was with a Sister en route « home » to Tanzania where she heads an orphanage for children with Leprosy.  Leprosy is still a very real disease in many parts of the world and the work of this Sister with children and parents who live with Leprosy daily is changing lives and giving hope.

When the announcement came to return to our seats for take-off I was actually disappointed.  It was so inspiring to exchange experiences and life philosophies with these people.  Especially knowing within me that whether or not we ever see each other again, we have each received a gift. – The gift of sharing dreams of a better world.

The time between 2009 and 2010 is a split second, yet it announces  an end to a year and the beginning of a new decade.

Everything is possible in this new decade.  It is for us to explore, define and act.    It is interesting to recognize that what we wish for today is very different from what we wished for ten, twenty or more years ago.  As the world evolves, so do we.  As we age and mature, so do our desires and dreams.  But it remains up to us to drive our dreams to fruition.

What better time to reflect on your accomplishments of this past year and to dream of what you wish for during this new year and decade.

Write these desires and dreams down on a sheet of paper today.  Make them as honest as possible, not worrying about “how” they might evolve.  For the moment simply define them and write them down.  Save this paper where you can read it every few months.  The simple act of writing your desires and dreams helps you to make them happen.

Home Alone

Are you alone for the holidays?  It happens more frequently to us as we get older.  Loved ones have died.  Family is far away.

There are two ways to look at being home alone for the holidays.  First is to feel alone and lonely.  If that is your case, then take control.  Tune into your AgeEsteem.  Shake out of your lonliness by inviting others in.

• Attend holiday programs and services.  Many offer a pick-up service.  Or invite a friend who drives to accompany you.
• Invite other singles to your home for some holiday cheer.  Some may feel as lonely as you.
• Organize an event with neighborhood children.  It can be as simple as hot chocolate and a story.  Parents will be pleased to have some free time for their own preparations.
• Volunteer in a soup kitchen or shelter.
• Dress up as Santa Claus or Mrs. Claus and visit neighbors to deliver homemade cookies.

The second way to look at being home alone for the holidays is to see it as being with yourself.  You are in your own company and able to enjoy the time by yourself.  Plan activities that relate to the holidays.

• Watch The Christmas Story.
• Listen to your favorite holiday music.
• Get out your photo albums and renew the joys of past holidays.
• Begin a journal of happy memories of holidays past.
• Make yourself a special meal and savor it.

Being home alone can be peaceful, joyous and loving.   Let your AgeEsteem attitude shine through and enjoy!

Abundance Is An Attitude

Each of us has potential that can be freed by looking at the abundance and goodness around us.  When we lighten our lives by seeing the fortune that we have we are not only happier and more confident, we also become a magnet for others.  There is a goodness in abundance which creates more goodness and more abundance.  Look around you.  The abundance is there.

AgeEsteem is acknowledging our abundance.

1.  Interview people around you who are of different generations.

• What are they most thankful for?
• Do they have a habit of giving thanks daily?  How?
• If so, when did they begin this habit?
• How do they benefit from their daily thanksgiving?

2.  Do you see a difference between the attitude of those who give thanks regularly and those who do not?
3.  Now, interview yourself using the same questions.
4.  Taking all your interviews into consideration, do you see a correlation between people giving thanks, and feeling good about themselves at the age they are today?
5.  Share your experience by leaving a comment or mailing Bonnie.Fatio@AgeEsteem.com.

Recognize your blessings, however small.

Dr. Maya Angelou, who was asked by President Bill Clinton to write and recite an original poem for his Inauguration as President of the United States in 1993, had not always been articulate and confident.  As a young girl she felt she was worthless and was dangerously depressed.  Fortunately a teacher took interest in her and insisted that she make of list of everything she had to be thankful for.  When she could find nothing to write, the teacher said, « Then begin with the fact that you are able to hold a pencil. »  Little by little she began her list which has grown with the years.  Today, Dr. Maya Angelou is herself a blessing in the lives of multitudes through her words, lyrics and legendary wisdom.  At age 80 she continues her attitude of gratitude as she inspires audiences throughout the world.

On a recent trip to South Africa to present AgeEsteem at a global conference of Women’s Rights and Development it was once again reinforced for me just how privileged I am to live where I do.   Learning from such a diverse group of women was enriching.  Learning filters both ways.   Often the people who have suffered the most through war, drought, hunger or standing up for what they believe to be just and right are the ones who show the greatest gratitude.  They have managed to live through these experiences and survive.  –  And an important ingredient to this survival has been to see the little blessings along the way that others would have overlooked.

Recognizing our blessings, both great and small, and being thankful are powerful ingredients to reaching our potential at every age.

• Every night before you fall asleep ask yourself this question.  « What am I most thankful for today? »
• Seek the little blessings that you normally overlook.
• Nourish your gratitude and feel truly thankful.