L I V E !

Remember to LIVE your age.

It is not enough to be alive.  We need to live!  We need to celebrate life, to show an attitude towards aging that is positive.  An attitude that says, “Wow! Now we are able to come into our true being.  We are able to understand who we are, building on the past in order to contribute more fully to the future.

I believe an important part of our mandate is to become examples of positive aging by genuinely loving who we are today – and tomorrow, and the next days.  The Baby Boomers are the generation which has set the trends as they have aged together.  It is now time to set the trend for us, the seniors +.

What an awe-inspiring opportunity we have!  Let’s show our age-esteem.  We are the role models.

Bonnie Fatio

Leaving

Leaving need NOT be grieving

It could be just farewell!

Believing you’ll be seeing

Family; friends : that’s swell!

One door shuts, another opens –

Ring each and every bell.

First you’re going, then you’re coming

Only Time will tell.

Thinking that the Best is still to come,

Life’s not always what it seems.

It depends on “where you’re coming from”,

And learning how to AgeEsteem.

Written by Alexandra Taylor for AgeEsteem®

With Age Esteem you’re ready for

The Tricks and Treats at your front door;

Take off your mask of dread:  Be Bold!

Say “Boo” to the task of growing old.

Cornucopias and sweet rewards

Find those who are always looking towards,

All the years to come, and in between,

And never back to what might have been.

Written by Alexandra Taylor for AgeEsteem®

Christy Rutherford, 61, Sequim, Washington

I think Age Esteem is feeling good about yourself at any age no matter what age you are.

I’m not really concerned about growing older.  I just want to continue to grow and getting old is just part of the process.  It’s not something that I am concerned about.  I’m loving every part of my life and this is just a new part of my life. – Something to look forward to.

Christy’s Tips:  I do what I love and I love what I do.  It’s really true.  Every day I get up with the idea about asking what would you have me do today and what is it I’m supposed to be doing today?  That would be either to help my family, myself, or someone else.  I just go with my impressions.  Sometimes I don’t, but when I do I feel better about myself.  If I don’t, I give myself good excuses like I deserve to take a break and do just what I feel like today.

Keep a positive attitude.  Don’t worry about how you look and what other people think about what you are or who you are.  Be grateful for every single day and for every person you come into contact with and even for the difficulties you have. Even the difficulties make you a stronger person.

Christy Rutherford teaches youth and children drama skills and theater skills.

Philip Selby, Yorkshire, England and Geneva, Switzerland

I imagine Age Esteem is about trying to help people to accept their age and to accept their values without regarding age as a negative, because many people regard age in a negative light. This is what I call ageism.

One of my personal concerns is to try and keep fit physically and mentally.  I’ve always been interested in physical exercise and sports so I try to continue my physical exercise by running long distances which I enjoy and I try to keep my mind busy mainly through learning new languages.  At the moment I’m learning Chinese.  I’ve been to China a couple of times.  I hope to go back and I’m struggling to learn Mandarin which is a big challenge.  It is far more difficult than other languages I’ve learned, including Russian and Hebrew.

One of my fears is that I will injure myself running and that I will have to curtail my running, so I have to try to adapt my exercise in such a way that I reduce the possibility of damaging my joints.  I think a lot of people who go in for long distance running don’t consider the impact it can have on the back, the hips, the knees.  I try to run within my limits.

Philip’s Tips:  I would say forget about your age, because I believe our chronological age should not affect how we feel about ourselves.  I would say we should do the things we want to do, to do the things that we enjoy and not regard age as a barrier or as an excuse.  I don’t think it’s an excuse to say that I can’t do such and such, I can’t run a half marathon because I’m too old.  If you have a physical disability, if you’re sick, if you have a problem with your knees for example then maybe you can’t run a half marathon but I don’t think age in itself is enough reason not to do what we enjoy doing.

Another piece of advice is to read my book about aging which gives advice on a wide range of topics helping to achieve successful aging.  By that I mean reaching an advanced age and still to be active physically and mentally and to be able to play a part in society and to have good relations with one’s friends and one’s family, to have avoided accidents and to have taken care of one’s finances.  There are many things one can consider from middle age which I would say is about 40ish in order to achieve successful aging.

I don’t really run to compete. I realize that I’m probably too old and not fit enough to do that, but I do enjoy taking part in long-distance runs in particular when there are a lot of runners and a great atmosphere.  Two runs which I enjoy very much are annual runs: The Matterhornlauf which takes place in August running from Zermatt in the Valais in Switzerland with a 1000 meters increase in height to Schwarzsee, and the other is the Great North Run which is a half Marathon in Newcastle in the UK with about 50,000 people taking part.  One of the great things about it is that all the runners are raising money for various charities, and I have had the opportunity not only to enjoy running but to raise money for a worthwhile cause, which presently is Children With Cancer UK.

Philip Selby is the author of Live Better, Live Longer: A Practical Guide to Successful Aging available as an ebook on Amazon.com; also published in French (Bien Savoir Vieillir), in Japanesse and in Chinese.

Bonnie Ross-Parker, 67, Atlanta, GA (originally from Hartford, CT)

I love the idea of AgeEsteem. I think of being proud to be where you are whatever your age is and having that kind of self-confidence and that belief in yourself that doesn’t have anything to do with age or with your chronological place in the world.  It’s just how you feel about yourself.

There are concerns about aging.  I guess I would have to say that my greatest concern is that I won’t be able to get everything done that I want to do before I pass.  There is so much more travel and so many more experiences I would like to have.  I’ve been moving into the closing of my 6^th decade, and it makes me realize that time is so short and so valuable and there is so much more to do and so much to experience.  That would be my greatest concern about age.  With my own experience with age I can say that I just love where I am.  I wouldn’t trade youth for experience under any circumstances.

Bonnie’s Tips:  Feeling good about yourself is an inside job.  It has to come from living a fulfilling life, and I am there.  I express gratitude every day.  I feel blessed every day.  I feel fulfilled in the work that I do.  I meditate.  I work out.  I do what I can to feel good about myself.  It has nothing to do with my age.  It has to do with just wanting to have the most energy and the most out of every single moment of every single day.  So for me it’s not at all about age or aging.  It’s more about enriching my life day to day and making it the best it can be at any given time.

As far as advice is concerned, I would just say to live each moment.  I know that sounds trite.  Everybody says live each day as it comes, but it is really getting the most out of the life you have, getting the most out of the experiences, making the most out of relationships, touching people’s lives, making a difference in somebody else’s life.  I think you look within to be fulfilled and not look for happiness from the outside with the new car, the new house, the new whatever.   Instead, just know that you are contributing and making a difference in the world.  If you don’t feel that you are, then find a way to do that through volunteering, through a warm shoulder, through a compassionate ear, whatever you can do.  It is the relationships that are fostered along the way that is most important.

It is interesting that the word journey has the word our in it.  I think the journey is really a collective energy.

Bonnie Ross-Parker is a professional speaker and author and creator if the national organization, The Joy of Connecting.

Patricia Lake, 65, PA, USA

When I hear the term Age Esteem I think,  “I just age”.  It is just a word.  I don’t feel myself as old. I may be 65, but a lot of days I feel like I’m 40.   I feel that I have the esteem to go with my age.  Then there are the days that I feel like 90!  It depends how your body feels.  But since I started at exercising at Silver Sneakers I feel a lot better.   I quit smoking, too, so that helps.

Patricia’s Tips:  I just take one day at a time.  I have to for the situation that I live with. I have to take one day at a time because I don’t know what the next day will bring.  I try to live for that day and be happy.   I don’t like to dwell on things that are bad.  I’d rather think of positive things.

Just be happy.  Life’s too short.  I try to practice that.  It doesn’t always work, but I try!

Anne-Louise Sterry, 60, Oregon, USA

The first thing that pops into my head when I hear “Age Esteem” is, oh my gosh, instead of thinking that old people are useless we’re going to look at people who are older with a sense of esteem.

What concerns do I have about growing older?  Actually concerns about aging just popped up for me when I turned 60.  One is a sense of anxiety that I don’t really have so much of my life left, and if I haven’t done what I wanted to do when I am I going to do it?  I better get to work!

A second concern is that I’ll never be able to retire.  I ought to be able to, except for the fact that I love what I do so I wouldn’t want to stop.  – But then when is the time that you can relax?  My father used to say, “You can relax when you’re dead.”  So that is a concern.  And of course there is the sagging of the body bits.  I’m not so happy about that.

Anne-Louise’s Tips:  I wake up in the morning and I try, especially if I am at home, to spend some time writing.  One of the things that I write at the top of my page is the type of day I want to create.  I often write that I am creating a day of joy and focus, or I’m creating a day of joy and love, or I’m creating a day of patience.   That actually carries me through my day.

Laughter is a really good thing.  Laughter makes you feel good.

Exercise.  You’ve got to get outside and walk.  You have to do something to get in the fresh air, something to move your body.  My husband and I ride bikes. I try to walk, especially since I turned 60.  I’m a new 60 and I’m struggling with that a bit.  It just seems old though I don’t feel old.  It is just the number.  I would like to change the number to have more years left.  I work on staying present and not future tripping or past tripping.  Both are useless.

When my parents were 60 they were old.  They weren’t out; they weren’t walking; they weren’t running; they weren’t doing things with their bodies.  So I guess I still see that as what 60 is supposed to be like.

When my Grandma was 60, she was a little old lady.  I think it is just an idea; it is just a concept that we need to change.  We need to change the concept of what 60 means.  Then I have a husband who is 65.  How did he ever become 65?

I’m a young old person so I don’t have very many tips yet.

 Anne-Louise Sterry, aka aunt Lena, speaker, author, performing artist www.Anne-Louise.com 

P.S. This interview wouldn’t be complete without a photo of Anne-Louise as aunt Lena, who is full of age esteem!

Mary E.  Kinhardt 73, CA, USA

Age esteem is something I’ve been thinking about a lot.  It is to value myself where I am in my life now, and the things I’m able to do.  It’s a bit of a challenge to see all the younger people and the things they can do, the places they go, the places they study and what their hopes are for the future. Mine are different now.  I recently moved to a retirement community because I wanted, in my mind at least, get to know what it means to be at this stage in life and being 73 in a retirement community. There are a lot of people in their late 70s, 80s, 90s.  When I get up each day I am challenged to think this is where I am, what can I do?

Obviously I’m here at the CSW (Commission on the Status of Women) at the United Nations in New York (where I interviewed her) because I think it is important to keep current with what the global women’s movement is doing.  I feel valued when I’m here for what I did for women over the years  and I really want to give the leadership over to the younger women and follow their guide.  This has been a time for me to learn how to live in a retirement community and also how to be a part of CSW at this stage in my life.

Health is a big concern.  I see what happens to the health of many people as they get older.  I guess I don’t want to go to the doctors that some of them go to or to the hospitals to get the procedures that some of them get.  I’m scared about what happens to people health-wise.  I’m trying to be optimistic and be thankful for the health I have now which is really pretty good.  So I’m just trying to trust God to help me at every stage.  He’s gotten me this far!   I do have medical insurance and doctors so I’m trying not to worry about that.

Mary E.’s Tips: My organization is The Grail.  We’ve had teenagers with us here and just seeing their vitality and imagining what they will get into as they go along makes me think this is really worth-while. This morning the YWCA presented the worship with women from Armenia, Belize and Japan.  It is heartening to see how they are moving forward.   Seeing them here now is thanks to what women (of which she is one) have done in the past.  That gives me energy.

I take care of my health and try to eat properly, get enough sleep and try not to get stressed out.  I try not to take on more things than I can do.  Use the privileges that you get when you are older like riding the NY subways and having people get up to give me their seats.  They don’t want this old lady landing in their laps!  I also avoid certain places that could get me into trouble.  Use practical common sense like trying to be conservative financially.

Life is basically good.  Sometimes you have to wait for the miracle to happen when things get tough, but try to remember that if you feel this way today you probably won’t feel this way tomorrow.  So live one day at a time.  Not to be worried about the future or to be stewing over what happened in the past but try to remember when things get tough, well they’re not going to stay this way.  Just go on.  Spirituality plays a role in my own consciousness.

Mary Kinhardt is an activist around women’s  affairs with a deep concern about the spiritual dimension of life.

Bonnie Fatio

Each day of this new year will bring new opportunities and experiences to be experienced and savored.

Do you look forward to each day?

One of my favorite AgeEsteem mentors and friends was Doris Blunt.  Doris was a woman of amazing inner faith and strength.  She always seemed to be bubbling over with happiness and interest.  Yet she had buried two husbands, both of whom she had accompanied through Alzheimer’s in their last years.

When I asked Doris how she remained so enthusiastic and happy she offered me the following secrets to her happiness.

• When you wake up in the morning you have choices.  You can listen to the birds and give thanks for the day as a new blessing and get up to greet the day or you can lie in bed and feel bitter about your aches and pains.  She chose the first.
• Remind yourself that whether you have a good day or a bad day depends on you and the attitude that you bring to it.  She brought a positive attitude which began when she first awoke.
• Decide what your purpose for the day is.  Doris was the sunshine of the home where she lived, so she always put on her sunniest smile when she left her room.  She said that although her smile was not always genuine when she put it on, it definitely became real by the time she met another person.  In fact her smile became infectious.  Others returned it!

These are simple yet powerful pointers for each of us to enhance our age esteem and positive attitudes to live happier lives.  Let’s look forward to each day!

Bonnie Fatio