Pauline Mawaka in her interview (see March 21, 2010) referred to several secrets to her own AgeEsteem.

• Purpose: When she retired she began the Senior Women Citizens for Change in Kenya to combat the violence against older women.
• Passion:  She lives her passion for helping women.    “Women encourage me, so I keep my energy.”
• Control:  Pauline says, “I control my own life.   I control my thoughts and my body.”
• Sing:  Do something that you love, that lightens your heart.
• Reach out:  Pauline’s purpose is directed towards “shaking the world”, and bettering the lives of Kenyan women.
• Social contact:  She has regular interaction with others through her singing and work.
• Spirituality:  “Knowing that God loves me” makes it possible for her to continue despite difficult situations.

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Pauline Mawaka   Executive Dir. Of Senior Women Citizens for Change

When Pauline Mawaka retired as a school teacher she decided to help change the lives of aging women in Kenya.  I had the privilege to meet Pauline in Nairobi and to learn first hand how she is going about this.  The following words are hers.

“After retirement I began creating awareness of violence against women and in other communities in Kenya.  I have been in most areas of Kenya to say that you must identify yourself as a woman in the community.  Speak out if you are violated.  No one else will speak for you.  Don’t be oppressed.

When women are beaten by their husband they feel that they let him down or failed.  They say they fell down the stairs.  Women are afraid to tell the truth.  We have now started to speak to schools and have women come out and say that they are beaten.  But the problem is that the Police laugh saying the problem is domestic.  This is changing as we get many women to come out.  At the grass roots they are still very oppressed.  I work in the slums of Nairobi.  Women who came from the country did so because their husbands violated them.  Then they come and stay with men in the slums and they are again violated.  They have a red eye or swollen cheek.  With time I think they will understand.  They’ve been oppressed for years.  It takes time.

I got married to a man who believed that a woman is a woman and her place is in the kitchen, but because I was involved in issues of women’s rights I decided I would say no to violence.  He still violates me, but I stand by my rights.  I have declared my rights.  My daughters too.  When a man came to marry my daughter, she said to me, “No, Mommy.  This man is like my dad.  I don’t want to marry him.”  She had seen her father shouting at me and telling me I’m stupid.  And that man is jobless.  I am the one who brings food on the table.  I am the one who has been caring for my children up to now.   He did very little to support.  But regardless of what he did I said that I wanted my children to go to school.  I wanted my children  to be educated.  All my 6 children have finished O levels.  One is working at the UN in NY as an accountant.  So it was like whatever this man was doing to me I didn’t care.  He couldn’t get me down.  I said I would stand firm and be sure that my children would have a good life.  They refuse to be violated.  To be married does not mean that I am a lesser person.

I sing.  When there are meetings like this, (World Council of the YWCA) I come.  Sometimes men don’t let us attend this type of meeting, but I do.  I control my own life.  I speak up.  My husband can call me a mushy brain, say that I am crazy.  Regardless of what I have been told I have walked and gotten on with my life.   Nobody lives my life except myself.  I control my thoughts and my body.  If I didn’t do that, I would not be here.  I would already be dead.  Although my husband never beat me, he abused me with insults.  When he says this I say Thank you.  All you say goes back to you.  I bounce them to you.

I still am here.  At the end of the day he lost his job.  I struggled as a teacher to provide and raise our children.  The man cannot say ‘Mama thank you, you are trying’.  Instead he says I am stupid.  I tell him stupid does not come into my mind but if you call me stupid I bounce it back to you.  One thing he has never done is to touch me.

I know I have a right in my home and in my country and I address it to other women.  I can help other women to say no.

I have a passion for women, and a purpose.  Sometimes when I listen to the women with their issues I just have water running from my eyes, but I know we can work together.  I must shake the world.  I can help women live happily.  It is because of violence that women cannot put food on the table.

When you are told from June to May that you are stupid, you believe you are stupid, you believe you are stupid.  Women encourage me so I keep my energy.  I think, God you love me and I will continue.”

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An AgeEsteem interview* with Pauline Mawaka, 65, Kenyan, Executive Director Of Senior Women Citizens for Change

The following text is in the words of Pauline Mawaka.

“It’s difficult to be 65 in Kenya. If you’ve been working you migh get a small pension.   Because I’m a teacher by profession I get a pension which isn’t enough.  But if an old woman never worked she has nothing.  The older persons in our communities rely on the younger people, but the young people these days are not employed.  Many are without jobs.  When our young people are not employed the elderly people and the entire family suffer.

We believe that when we educate our children they must move on with their life. – And even if our children are working we should not rely on them for support.  Even though you are retired and get a little money which will not cover your usual needs to maintain your life.  Sometimes you must go to the hospital because you are ailing. It is very difficult even for these educated children to support the older people.  What we do is encourage older people to begin income generating activities, but we don’t have funds for that.

By necessity you become independent.

I have lived in the city for a long time and the work I do now with senior women is because I am in the city, but I also do a lot of work in the rural area.  I have gone to the grass roots and met many women who are retired.  Often they are idle; they have no activity because they fear they are lost.  I am a teacher and I try to help these women.

Most of us women are violated in our lives.  It is especially the husband who violates and there are issues of rape and incest.  It effects the older women, some of whom have been raped by their own sons.  Women have been raped while going to the market.  Women my age.  They say nothing.  Most of them who have this violence are afraid to speak.  At their age people think they are mad.  Its important to create awareness and to break the silence, so they are talking.  They are telling somebody.

When we retire we are considered old.   I retired at 55, that is the law of Kenya.

The average person lives to 55.  Few live to 80.  When people retire they become idle and die before their time.  They don’t even have enough money to take care of themselves, but this improves with time.  We encourage them to do something after retirement.  Like me I am 65 and I am thinking of living longer.”

This personal interview took place in Nairobi, Kenya. The interview with Pauline Mawaka continues tomorrow.

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