Mary E.  Kinhardt 73, CA, USA

Age esteem is something I’ve been thinking about a lot.  It is to value myself where I am in my life now, and the things I’m able to do.  It’s a bit of a challenge to see all the younger people and the things they can do, the places they go, the places they study and what their hopes are for the future. Mine are different now.  I recently moved to a retirement community because I wanted, in my mind at least, get to know what it means to be at this stage in life and being 73 in a retirement community. There are a lot of people in their late 70s, 80s, 90s.  When I get up each day I am challenged to think this is where I am, what can I do?

Obviously I’m here at the CSW (Commission on the Status of Women) at the United Nations in New York (where I interviewed her) because I think it is important to keep current with what the global women’s movement is doing.  I feel valued when I’m here for what I did for women over the years  and I really want to give the leadership over to the younger women and follow their guide.  This has been a time for me to learn how to live in a retirement community and also how to be a part of CSW at this stage in my life.

Health is a big concern.  I see what happens to the health of many people as they get older.  I guess I don’t want to go to the doctors that some of them go to or to the hospitals to get the procedures that some of them get.  I’m scared about what happens to people health-wise.  I’m trying to be optimistic and be thankful for the health I have now which is really pretty good.  So I’m just trying to trust God to help me at every stage.  He’s gotten me this far!   I do have medical insurance and doctors so I’m trying not to worry about that.

Mary E.’s Tips: My organization is The Grail.  We’ve had teenagers with us here and just seeing their vitality and imagining what they will get into as they go along makes me think this is really worth-while. This morning the YWCA presented the worship with women from Armenia, Belize and Japan.  It is heartening to see how they are moving forward.   Seeing them here now is thanks to what women (of which she is one) have done in the past.  That gives me energy.

I take care of my health and try to eat properly, get enough sleep and try not to get stressed out.  I try not to take on more things than I can do.  Use the privileges that you get when you are older like riding the NY subways and having people get up to give me their seats.  They don’t want this old lady landing in their laps!  I also avoid certain places that could get me into trouble.  Use practical common sense like trying to be conservative financially.

Life is basically good.  Sometimes you have to wait for the miracle to happen when things get tough, but try to remember that if you feel this way today you probably won’t feel this way tomorrow.  So live one day at a time.  Not to be worried about the future or to be stewing over what happened in the past but try to remember when things get tough, well they’re not going to stay this way.  Just go on.  Spirituality plays a role in my own consciousness.

Mary Kinhardt is an activist around women’s  affairs with a deep concern about the spiritual dimension of life.

Bonnie Fatio

Attending the Commission on the Status of Women with the World YWCA at the United Nations is an intergenerational experience, and an energizing one!

Women of all ages from the entire world share real life experiences in preventing, overcoming, and striving to eliminate violence against women and girls, discrimination, and racial injustice while promoting equal access to education, decent work, finances, health care, safety, political opportunities, decision making and dignity.

The intergenerational commitment to sharing these issues at each age and working together to promote women at every stage of living is essential to making this happen.

Look at your life at your age today in the environment in which you live. Imagine that

• You have no pure water. You walk for hours each day to carry the infected water that you do find.
• You are unable to attend school because your mother is ill and you must replace her to work in the home.
• You denied decent work opportunities or advancement in the workplace.
• You risk violence and rape on the path to school.
• You do not have access to health care. The nearest infirmary is three hours by foot.
• Your parents arrange for you to marry while you are still a child. You have no choice.

This may be difficult for you to imagine or it maybe the way life is where you live.  Either way it is important for discussions and solutions to be intergenerational.

Bonnie Fatio

Bonnie Fatio and Hendrica Okondo, World YWCA

Women’s issues are also the issues facing aging.  As I arrived at the United Nations in New York today to register for the Commission on the Status of Women, I was struck by how strongly these same concerns are pertinent to all of us.

This year the Commission on the Status of Women (22 Feb. – 4 March 2011) is focusing on the issues of access and participation of women and girls to education, training, science and technology, and access to full employment and decent work.  All of these concern older people as well.  People of all ages are touched by these issues.  As we work to enhance the gender equality, we also work to enhance the lives of older people. – All people.

Women’s issues are aging issues.

Bonnie Fatio

The Commission on the Status of Women (CSW), established in 1946, influences the lives of people of all ages, including children and men.  It is a functional commission of the United Nations Economic and Social Council (ECOSOC) dedicated to gender equality and advancement of women. Each year it draws women from around the globe to the United Nations in New York to evaluate progress, identify challenges, set global standards and formulate concrete policies to promote gender equality and advancement of women worldwide.

This is also important for you men!  It has been shown time and again that when women are empowered the family and the whole community also improve.

Age Esteem will present an Intergenerational Dialogue on February 28.

Bonnie Fatio

Feel Good about Yourself – At the Age You Are

• Do you feel people define you by your age rather than who you really are?
• Are you tired of seeing ageing being treated as a disease?
• Do you feel a loss of confidence related to age?
• Do you feel weighed down by regrets?
• Do you fear the future?

If you answered yes to any of the above then this seminar is for you.

Whether you are a healthcare professional, family caregiver, government official, teacher, parent, grandparent or business professional, how you relate to yourself at the age you are today is an essential key to being successful in what you do.

Going beyond exercise and diet, Bonnie take us through a holistic approach to a healthier, happier lifestyle beginning with your basic desire to feel sensuous, successful and significant at every age. And, yes, this is equally applicable to you men!

Bonnie has presented AgeEsteem at the World Health Organisation, Geneva, Switzerland; the World Council of the YWCA in Nairobi, Kenya; Women’s International Networking Global Leadership Forum, Paris; Commission on the Status of Women at the United Nations, New York and more.

Click here for details or to book

Age Esteem is a basic essential for succeeding in social, economic and religious issues.  We must first feel good about ourselves at the age we are today, every day, if we are to be effective in our relationships with other women, girls, men and boys of all ages.  To be able to contribute our best and to nourish others and help them grow, we must first feel confident about ourselves.

This was reconfirmed by multiple speakers during the Commission on the Status of Women which I attended at the United Nations in New York last month.  The Honorable Mary Robinson, former President of Ireland and United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights was one of these speakers.  Mrs Robinson insisted on our right to dignity and equality, sharing the opening sentence of the preamble to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights that states:

« Whereas recognition of the inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world, »

She emphasized that it is important to combine dignity with human rights.

Dignity

• Represents our inner sense of worth.
• Is relative to the cultural, environmental, social and spiritual.
• Depends on relations with others.
• Is holistic, encompassing all other aspects of life.

To have AgeEsteem is to age with dignity.

The Inter-generational Effect with Bonnie Fatio (l) and Arda Aghazarian (r)

CSW 2010: All about the Inter-generational Factor
by World YWCA Communications Intern Anandi Smith

CSW 2010 Age Esteem and World YWCA

Walking into the Global Action on Aging Office on March 2, 2010 I get a warm greeting from the facilitators Bonnie Fatio and Arda Aghazarian. The office space is beautiful with silk hangings on the wall and large windows. From the front you can see a spectacular view of the UN building and the river.

Women of all ages file in and there appears to be a large number of women from World YWCA CSW 2010 delegation wearing the infamous fuchsia pink scarves. Swiss chocolates, which people make, an immediate dive for is passed around as people start to settle in their seats.

Bonnie Fatio, Age Esteem founder and author introduces the meeting. She wants to create an atmosphere where “age and aging are celebrated”. She tells us that ‘age esteem’ is where she wants to make her dream a reality and wants to encourage and portray a positive attitude towards ageing.

Arda Aghazarian,YWCA in Palestine staff and World YWCA Board member, introduces herself and asks us about our thoughts on age esteem. Numerous people respond and there seems to be a mutual agreement that in society today we are not encouraged to celebrate getting older. In the media for example we seem to be constantly bombarded with products and images to keep us young. Sarah Davies comments that there are certain expectations around age and if we do not abide by them people can be quick to judge. Doris Salah says “the word esteem, you don’t loose your esteem when you grow.”

Bonnie Fatio says “ the relationship to age that we carry follows us everywhere”, negative attitudes such as “old is bad and youth is dynamic” are not healthy. The facilitators tell us that they all want us to participate in an exercise, which will be measured in a symbolic way. Bonnie and Arda stand up at the front of the room and tell us to look at them hypothetically. We are told to raise our right or left hands when different words are used to describe woman. We are told to close our eyes, words such as ‘healthy, intelligent, beautiful wise’ come up and people point in different directions. What we find through this exercise is that you really have to be quite judgmental and ageist when deciding who to choose. Most of the words called out suit both women so people find themselves pointing in both directions. Through the exercise we find that there is a hidden ageism bias in all of us.

The conversation goes onto human rights and how dignity is a part of inner worth. Bonnie asks us how we should grow as leaders and that we should include young women. She says that one should not wipe out the other. Almost on cue Mildred Persinger walks in. (Now 92, Mildred has been a leader of women’s rights for several generations.)  Bonnie goes on to say that a sign of leadership is not passing the torch on but starting a flame that the younger generations can carry for themselves and light others. Getting older should be celebrated.

We then move off into pairs for another exercise and discuss what we gain from either older or younger women. My partner is Bonnie, she describes to me that “ young people have a different energy, they go by a different pace, vocabulary and are a constant learning experience. I tell her that I can learn a lot from older women they have been through all the things I am going through now and I can learn from them.

The thoughts that we are left with at the end of the seminar are how we can work with the older generation and as women we are not pushing a transition of new leaders. We are expected to evaluate and judge people ages but we need to look at it positively. Bonnie gives us a weekly challenge, which is to keep a personal talk diary for one week. It is to look at what we are saying through our mouths and thoughts and to turn our negative thoughts into positive ones. At the end of the session there are relaxed and happy faces all around. I think that the group has learned a lot from the exercises and will not be so quick to judge someone based on their age group and celebrate growing old. I know I will.

Happy International Women’s Day,

Bonnie

World YWCA Statement on International Women’s Day
March 8, 2010

Empowering Communities to end poverty and violence against women by 2015

“Some young women understand that violence against women is unacceptable, but many others are financially reliant on the men who abuse them.” This revealing comment was just one of many heard from women and young women participants of the World YWCA Regional Training Institutes held in 2009 on ‘Women Creating a Safe World’.

With women representing 70 percent of the world’s poor (UNIFEM 2008), poverty has a female face and renders them more vulnerable to violence. At least one out of every three women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime (UNIFEM 2008). Violence against women is a global human rights violation and women and girls are susceptible to abuse and violence at every stage of their lives; enhancing their risk of plunging further into poverty.

The impact of violence is devastating for not only women and girls, but also communities in general. It encompasses but is not limited to, physical, sexual and physiological violence, including battering, sexual abuse, dowry-related violence, marital rape, trafficking in women and forced prostitution, labour migration, female genital mutilation and other harmful traditional practises.

Women may bear the brunt of globalisation’s drawbacks and violence; however they are also the world’s greatest untapped resource for turning the tide on economic justice. Research has shown women are more likely to repay loans in full and on time than men. It is established evidence that giving a woman access to primary education will ensure her entire family receives better health care and nutrition. This indicates that providing equal access to education, credit, property and employment for women will ensure economic justice and sustainability for all.

While the World YWCA makes its own contributions through programmes on VAW, SRHR and HIV, development, literacy and gender inequality, the movement continues to call for accountability and commitment towards actions that invest in women and girls.

The Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) cannot be achieved without ensuring commitments contained in the Convention of Elimination of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) and the Beijing Platform for Action (BPFA) are also fulfilled. The BPFA can and should be used as a yardstick for evaluating the MDGs and the attainment of gender equality. Together with CEDAW and other international instruments, the goals represent a wider human rights obligation on which YWCAs can call governments to account.

Empowering communities to end poverty and violence against women by 2015 requires a global mobilisation like no other, and it calls upon all sectors to partner with governments to achieve these targets. Everybody has a duty to promote the economic empowerment of women that remove communities and countries from cycles of poverty and violence.

The World YWCA understands that a genuinely Christian perspective is against all forms of violence against women. We can no longer live in a world where women and girls remain in violent relationships to avoid a life of poverty.

We will continue to empower women and young women to end poverty and violence, thus creating a safe world for all.

The World YWCA is a global network of women and young women leading social and economic change in 125 countries. It advocates for peace, justice, human rights and care of the environment, and has been at the forefront of raising the status of women for over a century. The World YWCA develops women’s leadership to find local solutions to the global inequalities women face. Each year, it reaches more than 25 million women and girls through work in over 22,000 communities.