Successful Women of Today

March 22nd, 2018 Comments off

Success is easy to define, Merriam-Webster describes it as “a favorable or desired outcome” and “the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence,” but is it defined differently for men and women? Perhaps there are the stereotypical gender lines where women focus on the importance of relationships and feeling valued while men focus more on material success.

It turns out that women are broadening the definition of what it means to be successful and what it means to achieve great things in the world. The adaptation of success may also be a reflection of the fact that they still carry the bulk of the household and family responsibilities.

Are you one of those women that does it all and still feel inadequate? Why? Here are some thoughts as you define what success means to you personally:

  • Understand the price you are paying for your definition of success.
  • Have a clear goal and purpose, recognize that you cannot have it all.
  • Decide what is most important, focus on it and get rid of the guilt.
  • Be mindful that after every hill you climb, a new hill emerges.
  • If all else fails, fake it until you make it.

So, what matters to you personally? Where do you want to be in a year? Two years? Five? How will you achieve your own definition of success? Write your thoughts down while having some much-deserved “me time.” What truly matters to you in your life today?

Here are some ways in which AgeEsteemers have defined success in their lives:

  • Be in the moment, instead of constantly going, going, going.
  • Realize that your contribution to the world is valued, if not by others, by you.
  • Find a healthy balance between a loving home and a career you enjoy.
  • Have people in your life who can always make you smile.
  • Find the good in life’s imperfections.
  • Be proud of yourself.

Let determination, vision and purpose be your superpower to success!

We Can Encourage The Younger Generation

March 19th, 2018 Comments off

What can the older generation do in order to support and encourage the younger generation?

Do you have a favorite recipe that you have perfected for many years? Maybe something that can only be taught in the kitchen, or with a pinch of this and a dash of that. This is a great opportunity to develop highly transferable skills, from hands-on math conversions to staying with a project from beginning to end. Remember, those messy young sous chefs will one day cook entire meals for their family and friends.

Do you carry with you a wealth of childhood stories? With your stories you can give the younger generation an insight into the lifestyle of your childhood. You can teach what books cannot! These stories pass on life lessons that allow the younger generation to become a part of something larger than themselves.

Have you encountered difficult people in your life? Think about how many different types of people you have had to interact with. You have a wealth of experience and know a lot about behavior and manners that the younger generation has not yet acquired. Use your experiences and examples to encourage and support the younger generation with problematic relationships. Teach them techniques to respond instead of react when interacting with impossible people.

Are you a great motivator? Can you move the younger generation from the couch and video games to a more active lifestyle? Be creative! Encourage outside activities such as splashing in muddy puddles, tossing a ball, gardening and the good old fashioned games of tag and hide-and-seek. Give the younger generation a better line of sight on how their actions make a measurable difference in their own happiness.

The energy of the younger generation mixed with the experience of the older generation can do wonders in a society!

I challenge you to take an interest in the younger generation by passing on your AgeEsteem and making a positive difference in the youth of today.

Renaissance Girl

March 15th, 2018 Comments off

At last, I have found a new term to describe many of our modern young girls. – Girls who are much more than beautiful or pretty or cute. It is an expression to replace the plastic face and figure of Barbie with the depth and potential within the uniqueness of these girls.

It began when our ten-year-old granddaughter shared with me her history homework about the Middle Ages. It is an interesting historical period to study because there is the romantic concept of knights and royalty.

I made the comment to her that the Renaissance period will be even more interesting since she is a Renaissance Girl. That tickled her interest. “What is a Renaissance Girl?”, she asked. – And I realized that I had found the perfect term to describe her qualities.

She is a normal preteen. She does not excel in everything. However, she is a versatile, well-rounded person who is active in many different areas. She is fascinated by math, science, history, nature, travel to new places, and devours books and masters technology. She is active in sports, can play a tune on the piano, sing and hip-hop. She also has a good sense of humor and says what she thinks.

Yes, she is a Renaissance Girl!

I wish someone had given me that title as a preteen. You see, Age Esteem begins when you are young. How you see yourself and feel about yourself at each age and stage in life influences how you grow old and even your longevity.

Helping young girls recognize themselves as Renaissance Girls is also good for our age-esteem and health today, because intergenerational relationships keep us up-to-date and relevant, and therefore more vital.

Bonnie Fatio

What influence do you have on the younger generation?

March 12th, 2018 Comments off

Have you put much thought into what it means to be part of an older generation?  One of the largest generations in history that has a wealth of skills and experience. The generation that has pushed their rocking chairs aside to go skydiving, rock climbing and dancing.

So, what influence do you have on the younger generations? Specifically, what role does a Grandfather play in the life of a grandson?

As boys age they transform through different stages:

In the early years they are focused on strong love and security. At this stage, they tend to prefer the natural advantages of their mother, however grandparents can provide unconditional love and create those fundamental connections needed for the future.  

After the age of six, a boy will look around to see how to do “maleness.” The male role models in his life become his focus. At this stage boys need to learn the effects of their own strength and how they can control it.

Beginning at the age of 14 boys search out input from male mentors, other than his father. This is where grandfathers wield incredible influence and offer wise advice with a unique perspective on life.

AgeEsteem shines through the older generation creating a foundation for the younger generation.

A Grandparent’s Role With the Grandkids

March 8th, 2018 Comments off

When a grandparent holds their newborn grand-baby for the first time, there’s an emotional high that’s almost beyond description. The wonder and love felt at that time is forever remembered with a smile.

You feel a new and different kind of love towards this sweet, innocent, warm baby…a new level of love. It’s magical and joyful! Why a different kind of love? You suddenly get this feeling of immortality and the comfort that somehow, some way, a part of YOU will live on through this precious little one.

As a modern-day grandparent what role do you play?

Grandparents have always played an important role in family life; the historian, the mentor, a role model, a friend. However, over the last twenty years, grandparents have had increased responsibility for their grandchildren due to changes in society and a larger number of single parent households. These responsibilities might include activities such as getting young children ready for school in the mornings, providing full-time child care for preschoolers, or serving as a custodial parent. As a grandparent, in this modern-day family, your role is unique and important. You are not just “another babysitter,” but have a fundamental connection with your grand-kids. Make the most of those special days!

Grandchildren bring energy, laughter, optimism, love and purpose to the lives of their grandparents. While grandparents act as an authority figure and provide unconditional love, they also wield incredible influence and get to spoil their grand-kids in a way parents simply can’t.

I encourage you to keep the connection active and alive no matter what the current circumstances may be. Let your imagination go wild, make it a point to send colorful cards or magazine gift subscriptions. Utilize technology and keep that link going through Facetime, Skype or old fashion telephone calls. The bottom line is to keep the constant connection with your grandchildren. Everyone is blessed because of it!

Are we the lucky ones?

March 5th, 2018 Comments off

Take a moment to reflect on the world today; advanced technology, material abundance, limitless growth… it seems clear that the world today is amazing! With the help of technology, people can accomplish their tasks more efficiently and effectively. The adolescents of today have an entire world at their fingertips. They are in constant contact with peers through social digital networks and the media.

Are AgeEsteemers the lucky ones?

Can you recall the days when a neighborhood was a safe place to climb trees, ride bikes or simply play? How about when a vacation was a short drive down the road to a camping spot in the woods. Maybe a time when the whole family ate around the dinner table and everyone enjoyed face-to-face conversations where people were more patient with each other and life seemed to move at a slower pace?

Is the throw-away cycle of today failing both people and the planet? One could argue that healthcare, education and opportunities have certainly improved, however studies show that we are no more satisfied than we were 100 years ago.

So, was life better when it moved at a slower pace? Or not?

Abraham Lincoln once said, “Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”

Would the ability to be fully present in whatever you may be doing, and not allowing your mind to wander to the past or future, make you happy? I challenge you to slow your mind and focus on the now, so that you are able to enjoy more of the simple things in life. One could say that health and happiness are key ingredients to your AgeEsteem.

Millennials are not necessarily better, but different!

March 1st, 2018 Comments off

Step back into your childhood. Did you live in a “Cleaver Family” or were you a “latchkey kid”?

The Baby Boomer generation, born between 1946 and 1964, worked long hours, but understood the values they instilled in their children. They fought for equal rights and opportunities and were extremely loyal to family; as shown by the Cleaver Family on the Leave It to Beaver television sitcom.

Children of Generation X, born between 1965 and 1980, faced a time when households had dual incomes, they returned from school to an empty house, and society was less focused on them and more focused on adults.

Have you ever stopped and looked at your children or grandchildren and thought how much easier their lives seem?

At first glance, it seems that Millennials, people born after 1980, have it all figured out. There is a common belief that because of technology, millennials can work flexible hours and should be evaluated on work product – not how, when or where they got it done.

Is this way of working truly a better way, or just a different challenge?

Millennials might be the brainiest, best-educated generation yet. However, four-in-ten Millennials aged 18 to 29 currently have student loan debt and are getting hit hard by depression. One in five young workers has experienced on-the-job depression, compared to only 16 percent of Generation X’ers and Baby Boomers. They are growing in a world of “information urgency” with little patience, experiencing the “high tech and low touch” phenomenon.

Generations might approach situations differently, however no matter what generation you are from, all people want to be heard, crave feedback and want to make a difference.

Let your AgeEsteem shine and realize that no matter how easy things seem to the next generation, every person is walking around with a sign around their neck saying, “Make me feel important!”

What is Love?

February 26th, 2018 Comments off

If you ask a child, “What is Love?” They might come back to you with a simple definition like:

  • Love is hugging me, even when I did something wrong.
  • Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.
  • Love is spending time reading an extra book to me, even though the chores are piling up.
  • Love is giving daddy the best piece of chicken.

As a teenager, love can be defined as more individualistic and chemical.  You might here definitions such as:

  • Love is a feeling where you feel like nothing can go wrong.
  • Love is when your world is made up of one special person and without that person, you seem empty.
  • Love is being there for someone.

However, when you become a parent you are introduced to the power of unconditional love and the danger of sacrifice as a parent.

Love is the force that gives Age Esteem its pizzazz! It may take on different dimensions as we experience different stages of life, but it remains a constant.

As we close out this month of love, let’s celebrate – Love of self, love of family, love of friends, love of those who we do not yet know and yes, even love for our enemies.

  • Allow your heart to overflow with thoughts of love.
  • Look for indications of love around you.
  • Remember the precious moments in your life when you have had so much love in your heart that it bubbled over.

Celebrate love!


Offer a Gift of Love

February 22nd, 2018 Comments off

Jessica, our five-year-old granddaughter, came skipping towards me cradling something in her hands. “Look Baline! (her special name for me) Look, what I made for you!” Her little face was beaming with joy and anticipation as she gently opened her hands to present me with her gift.

There, carefully cradled in her hands was a leaf sandwich—a dark green leaf stuffed with colorful buds. Its beauty took my breath away. As I hugged Jessica and thanked her for this precious gift, I thought, “What a beautiful expression of love!”

Jessica’s gift carries an important message during this month of St. Valentine’s and romantic love.

We did not need to fly around in a frenzy trying to find just the right card to say, “I love you”. Nor should we concentrate our expressions of love on one day of the year. Instead, let’s do what comes naturally to a child.

Offer a gift of love! Offer an expression of love when the spirit moves you. Express your love in multiple ways throughout the year.
We each need love at every age. It is our sustenance and emotional energizer at every age and stage of life.

There are many ways to express love, including a dark green leaf sandwich stuffed with colorful little flowers. Love is our greatest gift.

Bonnie Fatio

Find Someone To Love

February 19th, 2018 Comments off

When I cheerfully wished a friend Happy Valentine’s Day, her response surprised me. She moaned, “Ha! Maybe it’s a Happy Valentine’s Day for you, but I have no one to love”.

Her response set me thinking. Is it possible to have no one to love? It is true that with aging comes the loss of loved ones, often a change in where we live and our activities. These can bring the feelings of loneliness and even abandonment, leading to depression. It may seem to us that we have no one to love, but is it really possible to have no one to love?

If this is true, then how can we change the situation? How can we find others to care for and love? In my book, AgeEsteem, the chapter on The Power of Purpose opens with this personal quote: “Having a purpose enables us to step outside of our own needs and problems, to focus on new opportunities and to renew our energy as we take action”. Scientific research and my own personal experience shows that to have that sense of belonging, of being loved and loving others, we must have a purpose in our lives, a reason to get up in the morning and to look forward to the day.

The trick is to reach out to others. Find a volunteer activity where you can benefit others with your talents and personality. Do you like children and have energy to care for them? Why not help a neighbor with her little ones once or twice a week? Many children are begging for help with their homework. Youth are in need of older mentors to guide them. Join a team to fold flyers or decorate for a party. Read to the blind. Opportunities are countless once you begin to look into volunteering.

Nothing is more fulfilling than to think that you have benefited the life of another. Seek your immediate purpose. Forget about yourself for a minute and reach out to others. Richard Branson, multi-billionaire, says that what gets him up in the morning is the idea of being able to make a difference. Doris Blunt, a retired school teacher, would get up with a smile each morning because she was the “sunshine” of the home she lived in. We each have a purpose. Find yours, and you will also find someone to love.

Bonnie Fatio