Two Thousand and Twelve,
Imagine! It’s here!
The start of another
Wonderful year.
Make resolutions and
Make them to last;
Live in the Present,
Inspired by the Past.
Growing old is not as bad as it seems;
Model each day by the book Age Esteem!
Written by Alexandra Taylor for AgeEsteem®
Big Bird
Big Bird is a gift for all ages, and a symbol of age esteem. When our four year old granddaughter and I met him at Busch Gardens, Florida, we were both equally thrilled. - And we both wanted our photo with her!*
When I met her I said, “Oh, Big Bird, you have been my idol forever!”, later to discover that she was created in 1969. She represents the generation between our granddaughter and me. So this is truly an intergenerational photo.
Big Bird is definitely a friend of AgeEsteem® and a gift for all ages.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
Today is celebrated as Thanksgiving Day in several countries of the world. But isn’t every day a day of thanksgiving? We have so much to be thankful for ! Even on the days that seem to be grey and dismal when we want to complain, we can be thankful that we are capable of complaining. It means that we realize that life could be better and that we still have higher aspirations than just what today may bring.
Gratitude is an important facet of age esteem. Gratitude, feeling thankful because we recognize our blessings, is key to feeling good about yourself at the age you are today. What are you thankful for?
I am thankful to be capable of thinking and learning.
I am thankful for my sight, that makes it possible to bask in the beauty of nature.
I am thankful for my hearing and to enjoy laughter and the rustling of leaves.
I am thankful for my arms that make it possible to hug.
I am thankful for my voice and being able to express my thoughts aloud.
I am thankful to feel emotions, especially love.
I am thankful to smell the freshness of the air after a storm.
I am thankful for Age Esteem.
I am thankful for family and friends.
I am thankful for those without names who have touched my life.
I am thankful for those who share their goodness.
I am thankful for YOU.
Bonnie Fatio
Ann Banner, 62, NC, USA
I think that when I hear AgeEsteem it is how you feel at any point in your life whether you’re considered young, middle aged or older. Naturally by being over 60 now, it is how I feel about myself and being over 60 years old.
I think more recently I’ve given aging more thought because in my immediate area and among the people I grew up with, I see a lot of people I went to high school with who are dying in their mid- 60’s. It concerns me not so much because I feel that I’m next, but because I do wonder what is it about our age group that seems to be more prevalent. Then I fear that since years are going by there are things that I have to consider because I won’t live another 62 years. I don’t know if it is so much a fear as it is a concern.
Ann’s Tips: I’m probably harder on myself than on other people. I find myself telling other people things that I really should be speaking to myself about. But when my younger co-workers say, “Oh is it 5 o’clock yet?” I’m often heard to say, “Someone wishes they had all day.” So don’t wish your life away. I think that because I see time going by so fast, or seemingly so fast, I just think people ought to treasure that voice. I find myself saying that a lot. I try to live each day to the fullest.
I think that if people are honest with themselves they’ll realize there are things that they don’t like about themselves, but it’s the only self they’re going to get. I guess what I would say is what I say to myself. Emphasize those things that you do well. We all have some, like a good sense of humor or patience, tolerance, understanding of other people, being less critical of other people. Those things are all a part of our esteem and I think if we stopped and realized what is good that we can share with other people, we would feel better about ourselves. That is where it starts. If we’re not happy within we sure can’t share it. Misery loves company. That’s for sure. I think people often seek out other people who don’t feel good either. If you go to another person and you feel bad, you’re probably going to go to the person that’s going to agree with you, and that’s not always the best thing to do.
Ann Banner is a public health pediatric nurse working primarily with the pediatric residents from Chapel Hill, NC, USA
Hendrica Okondo, 55, Kenya
AgeEsteem makes me think of feisty, fantastic wise women.
I think my fear of aging is that people will forget that I’m intelligent and I can still do the things I did when I was younger and that they will do things for me instead of ask me.
Hendrica’s Tips: I think the passion to live and just feeling blessed that I’m alive. I thought I would die at 50. And here I am meeting all these lovely young people. I like women especially because there is always a story and they always want to know more about people. I want to know what their stories are. That’s what makes me excited.
I am in a line of work that keeps me in contact with like-minded people. I don’t think it matters where they are. I’ve met highly powerful women like Michelle Bachelet who is very down to earth and very nice, and I’ve met women in the village in Sudan who were fun to be with just sitting under a tree. They can laugh at what they went through during the war and still find time to ask whether I have a husband and where are my children. I think women wherever they are have this personal touch and that is what I love about them.
I think you should affirm yourself and not be concerned with what people think about you. Just be clear that you are beautiful, not according to the model in the magazine, but beautiful with a good heart. If you have a beautiful smile it makes it even better. I think if you pick something you are enthusiastic about, even volunteer, it is good. I was very inspired by two very important women coming in the other day just to help write certificates for speakers at the Women’s Summit. That is very inspiring. It shows just how committed and how engaged they are, which means that they are not sitting at home thinking, I’m lucky I’m bored. No, they are just ready to go out and help. It is the kind of thing I find in my village where you find grandmothers who are ready to come to church at any time and to decorate the church. - They’re ready to do any work that you want them to do. At the end of it you can all sit around and just laugh. (I’m sorry you don’t have Hendrica’s contagious laugh live. She shares it generously.) I think that laughter just makes it easier. I have great admiration for the women at the world office of the YWCA . They work really very hard, and sometimes when things are going terribly wrong they just sit down and laugh. I think it is a strength that keeps you going.
We need to stay current. I love my job. I get to talk about sex to women and they seem very shocked when I do because somehow I don’t think that my face looks like someone talking about sex. I’m a Catholic, and I love to talk to Catholics about sex, because the Pope should have nothing to say about sex since he doesn’t practice it. Especially in the continent I work in where we have 6 million young women that were born positive. They have the virus. So I get very angry when people say we want a virus free world, These kids will never lead a virus free life, but they do want to have sex. They also watch television and they know that relationships are what makes a young person. If we do not tell them how to protect themselves, we will not reach the target of zero transmission. They will do it secretly and they will transmit the virus. This is a reality. You can’t preach abstinence to someone who already has the virus. So it becomes very serious work and I believe that women have a right to make decisions about their own bodies. I definitely think if you want to have an abortion and you have information and you make a conscious decision and you understand the consequences you should have a right to safe and proper services to have the abortion.
Hendrica Okondo is Global manager for reproductive health and rights and HIV, and also the focal point for Africa at the World Office of the YWCA.
Mary E. Kinhardt 73, CA, USA
Age esteem is something I’ve been thinking about a lot. It is to value myself where I am in my life now, and the things I’m able to do. It’s a bit of a challenge to see all the younger people and the things they can do, the places they go, the places they study and what their hopes are for the future. Mine are different now. I recently moved to a retirement community because I wanted, in my mind at least, get to know what it means to be at this stage in life and being 73 in a retirement community. There are a lot of people in their late 70s, 80s, 90s. When I get up each day I am challenged to think this is where I am, what can I do?
Obviously I’m here at the CSW (Commission on the Status of Women) at the United Nations in New York (where I interviewed her) because I think it is important to keep current with what the global women’s movement is doing. I feel valued when I’m here for what I did for women over the years and I really want to give the leadership over to the younger women and follow their guide. This has been a time for me to learn how to live in a retirement community and also how to be a part of CSW at this stage in my life.
Health is a big concern. I see what happens to the health of many people as they get older. I guess I don’t want to go to the doctors that some of them go to or to the hospitals to get the procedures that some of them get. I’m scared about what happens to people health-wise. I’m trying to be optimistic and be thankful for the health I have now which is really pretty good. So I’m just trying to trust God to help me at every stage. He’s gotten me this far! I do have medical insurance and doctors so I’m trying not to worry about that.
Mary E.’s Tips: My organization is The Grail. We’ve had teenagers with us here and just seeing their vitality and imagining what they will get into as they go along makes me think this is really worth-while. This morning the YWCA presented the worship with women from Armenia, Belize and Japan. It is heartening to see how they are moving forward. Seeing them here now is thanks to what women (of which she is one) have done in the past. That gives me energy.
I take care of my health and try to eat properly, get enough sleep and try not to get stressed out. I try not to take on more things than I can do. Use the privileges that you get when you are older like riding the NY subways and having people get up to give me their seats. They don’t want this old lady landing in their laps! I also avoid certain places that could get me into trouble. Use practical common sense like trying to be conservative financially.
Life is basically good. Sometimes you have to wait for the miracle to happen when things get tough, but try to remember that if you feel this way today you probably won’t feel this way tomorrow. So live one day at a time. Not to be worried about the future or to be stewing over what happened in the past but try to remember when things get tough, well they’re not going to stay this way. Just go on. Spirituality plays a role in my own consciousness.
Mary Kinhardt is an activist around women’s affairs with a deep concern about the spiritual dimension of life.
Daniel Meylan, 76, Paris, France
Age esteem? Esteem is already important alone. With age it is even more important. It is good to put them together. We’re not so old. We must continue to esteem ourselves and to care for ourselves well, not let ourselves go.
Daniel’s Tips: I force myself not to let go of what I have always done. I oblige myself to stay physically fit and to not be a vegetable. I walk a lot. A couple weeks ago I fell because I was racing to catch a bus. It was a lesson. I will not do that again. It has taken me these weeks to recuperate my normal way of walking, which has to do with regaining confidence.
At present I have a problem. If I don’t know people, I have a difficult time to carry on a conversation like I used to. I am destabilized because I don’t find my words like I used to. As a result I panic which makes it worse. To improve this I am going to a coach specialized in helping me find the words that I have lost. It is a long journey. I completely stopped speaking at a certain point and now I am trying to recuperate the vocabulary I’ve lost. I’ve also lost much of my English and my German. Now I force myself to make conversation with others. I actively engage in social occasions.
For the intellectual side I read books on the Middle Ages to learn about that era. It is very difficult for me to concentrate, but I insist on doing it. It is also another way to recuperate some of my words.
It’s also important to be with family, with the grandchildren regularly.
I go to a center for older people several times a week. There is a woman there who is 100. She manages to keep physically and mentally fit and is a strong role model for me. She is well dressed. I am considered someone who is still completely present. I feel comfortable there but sometimes wonder why I go. I am still completely independent which isn’t the case for most. I get there and home by my own means. I want to keep my autonomy. It’s important for me.
We go there to live as well as possible as long as possible. I am in the section that designs and paints in the morning and does gymnastics in the afternoon, though I am in much better physical form than the others.
I am strict with myself for all questions of remaining in shape.
Esther Janine Zehntner, 69, Swiss
Everyone is aging. So am I. Age esteem is to cope with that situation as I had to cope when I was young with my age then.
At the moment I don’t have any problems with getting older. I’m aging and I think it also liberates in one way or another. I do think I would be scared if I had to completely depend on people without being able to communicate with them.
Esther’s Tips: I am living today with my mind within a span of maybe 10 years. Today I am retired. I am used to being retired and I’m planning to go ahead like this. I am of good health. Therefore I take life the way it comes with the opportunities that it has for my particular age group. It would be different if someone was already handicapped or forced into a situation like that.
I think you have to take life the way it comes and to be open to this. I’m not sitting in a chair all day. I am thankful that I have always been healthy. I try to live moderately and not exaggerate what I am doing. I move. I have some sports but I’ve given up dangerous sports. I no longer climb, but I do take advantage of the opportunities that my country Switzerland is offering me. I use a bike. I walk.
Esther Janine Zehntner volunteers at the Swiss YWCA.
Simona Ferrar, 36, Spain
Age Esteem is self esteem related to age. It means feeling good about yourself and feeling good about your age and the stage of life you’re in.
I think one of the main fears in my case is that I am 36 years old and I don’t have children yet, so that is my main worry concerning aging. If one day I don’t have children I won’t be able to have them anymore. So I think that is the most important one. I am at the stage in life where that could or could not happen. That is going to influence my life in a big way. Otherwise I do see and feel my body change. I see wrinkles and grey hair which I didn’t have before. They just keep appearing more and more. I’m kind of trying to figure out how to deal with them. I’d like to say that they don’t bother me, but at the same time I feel they are new and I need to get used to them.
Since I also work in acting, appearance is quite important and is very much taken into consideration when people choose you for a job . For example I did an audition for a role and I sort of suspected that they were looking for someone who was quite a bit younger; it was for television and for television they quite like to have someone with very young looks. They didn’t take me for that role, but then they called me for another role which I did get and am happy to have it, but I also realized it was a role of someone older who had a daughter of 20. So I started calculating and realized I could be a grandmother already at this age.
Yes, I think that I am in a phase of figuring out how I want to deal with these issues. A lot of actors and actresses do face surgery for this reason. It is something I don’t really want to do now, or later, but it is something one thinks of and hears about in these professions.
In dancing there’s a tendency to say that you can’t dance after a certain age. It is certainly true of ballet where it becomes very difficult to find a job after 35 or 40 years of age. However, I believe that most dancers are able to dance after that age. Someone just decided at some time that that age is no longer good for dancing. Wonderful proof that this is not true is Sylvie Guillem who is still a ballet star at 46. I’m not in ballet right now, and I also started dancing relatively late compared to standards. At the same time I feel that dancing is something that I should be able to do as long as I want. That’s exactly what I’m going to be doing, so I am organizing my life and my way of working in function of that. That is why I am working on creations, because I know people won’t come and say you can’t create any more. If you create your own work, then you get your job easily. I think people are dancing to a later age. One of my favorite choreographers is a person called Pina Bausch who passed away last year. She’s a very well-known dancer in contemporary dance. She’s a director of dance theater. She’s German. She died at the age of 68 and I saw her dance a few months before she died. It was beautiful to see her dance. She has people in her company who are past the age when one says they should start thinking of doing other things. She actually did a big choreography of a 3 hour performance with people over 65 years old. It was beautiful. I loved it. I think these things are happening more and more. By the time I am 65 or 70, I think I will have a lot of co dancers that age.
Simona’s Tips: Aging comes with a lot of good things such as lots of experience, one’s own experience and the experience of others around one. I feel I’ve learned so much. The older I get the more I know and I get to know myself better. I think there are a lot of people older than me around me, people in my family and other people I really look up to as being models for me. I just feel their experience is so valuable, or just their being there for me is something very valuable. I had and have such nice relationships with my grandmother on my mother’s side and with my grandmother and grandfather on my father’s side. For example with my grandfather we had quite a formal relationship up until very recent years when we got really close. For me these are special relationships which involve caring and just being with each other. I really value these people and I think that society should.
Love your body and enjoy it. Don’t let yourself think that you cannot do something because you are too old or too young. If it feels right for you, then it is probably your right time. The body is what one leaves when one dies so I think we have to enjoy it as much as possible. That’s why I enjoy dancing so much. It is a wonderful way of experiencing one’s body and expressing feelings. There is a lot of humor in dance, too. Enjoy your body. What I see in people when someone’s happy is that they are beautiful, whatever the age. I know children are drawn to happy people. – And it doesn’t depend on age. So yes, just enjoy yourself and your body and feelings and soul and the relationship with others through soul and body.
Simona Ferrar is an actress, dancer and choreographer.
Don Adams, 78, USA
Age esteem is both for yourself inwardly and outwardly. It is two different things. One is esteem for yourself and the other is to encourage other senior folks to have high esteem for themselves.
One of my biggest concerns with aging is to not forget things. – To have the capacity to keep all the things going that I have a need to keep going for myself and my family. I have the concern about being able to do that. – All the myriad of things that one does on a day to day basis. If you lose track of some, the impact of not getting those things done, especially if you are the only person aware of the need to do it, may have an impact on family and friends.
One of my big concerns is to try to insure that I do whatever I can do day by day to contribute to the future life for my wife, Lynne, so if something were to happen to me she can have some reasonable life and not have a life of being in poverty.
Don’s Tips: Try to expand your sense of humor, not taking yourself too seriously. Constantly evaluate and reevaluate all the things you have had that were important to you and things that you felt that you had to do and other people had to do to test those against reality. Determine is this really true or do you need to rethink or re-evaluate? Open up your thoughts, which I think is very important. It’s not just thoughts; it’s all aspects of your life – not getting in ruts, not being willing to look outside the things you have been holding dear or sacred.
My advice to myself would have been to not have a double bypass operation. I should have exercised more and watched my habits in eating, etc. I would recommend that to other people. Unfortunately for some like with me this has taken place over my whole life time, so what is in my arteries is in my arteries. Develop the skill and ability to communicate to people. If you find me giving advice understand that if you chose not to take it that it’s ok. You can do something with it or not do something with it.
You have to keep expanding your circle in all areas of your life whether it’s with people, skills, or whatever. Keep trying to expand and not just live within what is familiar and what has been part of your life. Do not say this is wonderful; it cannot be improved upon. Expand in all areas.
Don Adams and his family have lived in Belgium and England as well as the USA.
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