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Dear [NAME]
Lessons for Living
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Phumzile Mlambo Ngcuka, Deputy President of South Africa and
Musimbi Kanyoro, General Secretary of the World YWCA
at the International Women's Summit on HIV/Aids
Nairobi, Kenya July 2007 |
When I attended the World Council of the YWCA in Kenya last month, I arrived early to be part of the first International Women’s Summit on HIV/Aids which preceded this council.
More than half of the 3,000 women who attended are HIV positive. This means that they are living with the HIV/Aids virus – and they know it. It is a reality in their lives, and they live with that reality each day.
When we speak of the gift of aging, we actually are referring to the gift of life. To be alive is to experience the process of aging, of growing older. This is a process that you and I sometimes take for granted and sometimes wish to fight.
For these women who are living with the reality of HIV/Aids, growing older is an accomplishment to celebrate. It means they are still alive.
I learned much from these women in our discussion group. As they shared their secrets for overcoming obstacles placed in their path, they offered valuable Lessons for Living. Their lessons reaffirm and confirm what I stress when speaking and writing about AgeEsteem. These HIV positive women give it a new dimension as they truly celebrate growing older.
Let me share stories of two of these women and their Lessons for Living.
First was a young Australian woman in her late teens who was HIV positive at birth. She encounters constant obstacles due to misunderstanding and fear. And there is a lack of role models of others born with HIV. They rarely live as long as she has. Her immediate goal is to finish High School. Then she plans to earn a University degree, becoming the first person she knows, who was born HIV positive, to finish University.
Her Lessons for Living: Remain focused on the future. Have plans and goals that are meaningful to you. Believe in yourself and that you can achieve these goals. Know that having these objectives makes today meaningful while you remain future oriented.
The second example is a woman who lived through the terrible years of genocide in Rwanda. She came out of those years with HIV and two children. She didn’t need to go into detail. We could read the emotions on her face. She survived because she knew she needed to be alive to raise her two babies. Sunshine all but filled the tent when she smiled and told us, “I am so lucky. Neither of my children have the HIV virus.”
Her Lessons for Living: Be thankful for what is good in your life. Focus on the positive. She is still alive and her children are healthy. She also has a purpose in life, a reason to live. She has children to keep healthy.
Both of these women were victims, but neither allowed themselves to think in those terms. They are HIV positive. They accept this condition that they cannot change. They focus on what they can do with their lives in the circumstances they find themselves in. They control their thinking and attitude toward life and keep them as positive as possible.
I am grateful to these women. Their Lessons for Living are also Lessons for Aging.
Happy AgeEsteem,
Bonnie
“ A wonderful lesson for living and aging is simply to ‘live' each day.” Bonnie Fatio
AgeEsteem enriches everyone. If you have a question, would like to share a personal story or tip concerning self esteem and age, or comment on these messages I look forward to hearing from you! bonnie.fatio@AgeEsteem.com
©Bonnie Lou Fatio
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