I bumped into an old friend this week who I hadn't seen for months.  « How are you? » I asked.  His reply caught my immediate attention.  « My light is flickering », he said.

 Was he announcing a terminal disease or a deteriorating condition?  No, his health was fine.  When questioned further, he explained that he had simply lost his spark.  He was beginning to feel that he was being pushed aside for younger colleagues to step into place and that he was no longer valued or wanted in his professional and volunteer positions. 

 Is your light flickering? 

 It can happen at any age, but tends to happen more often when we near retirement.  It seems as though one day we are shining like the huge spotlight on a sports field and the next we have fallen to the power of the 75 watt bulb.  

 Unlike the light bulbs where someone pushes a button and they instantly shine, we are the generators of our own spark.  It is up to us to glow with our talents, wisdom, understanding, experience and savoir être (know how to be and to act in multiple situations).  No one else can do this for us.  They can encourage us and support us, but no one but you can generate your inner light.

 When our light flickers it is different from being physically tired.  Physical fatique can most often be remedied by a good nap.  We doze off and wake up refreshed.  To keep our inner light bright, though, we need to feel motivated, to have a valued purpose in life. 

 Is this your case, or do you need a reason to want to get out of bed in the morning?

 When you are feeling bored and listless, ask yourself why this is the case.  Are you lacking activities that you enjoy, commitment to a goal, contact with friends, new challenges, opportunities to learn something new...?  Interrogate yourself until you are clear as to why your spark has faded.  Then do something to fill that gap.  Investigate new activities and opportunities to meet friends and new people.  Search courses to learn a new language, about antique furniture or auto mechanics.  Scan the trips offered by Road Scholar (link is http://www.roadscholar.org/) or Elderhostel (http://www.elderhostel.org/)  and commit to discovering a new culture.  Take control of your life by defining your needs and goals.

 AgeEsteem role models have a purpose in life.  Sometimes it has come naturally.  It may be an extention of what they have done professionally. Often, though, they take time to ask themselves questions and reflect on what they would like the rest of their life to look like.  They define their interests and passions and how they can incorporate more of these interests meaningfully into their activities.  They look at ways to reach out to the community and to use their talents.  They recognize the importance of friendships and sharing with others.  They tune into their spirituality.
 If your light is temporarily flickering, take control.  Respark your life.  As Nelson Mandela so beautifully expressed in his inaugural speech of 1994, quoting Marianne Williamson (link for this is www.skdesigns.com/internet/articles/quotes/williamson/our_deepest_fear/ )

“ We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same..”

Exercises:

1. If you feel that your inner light is flickering have a medical check-up to eliminate physical problems.
2. Take an inventory of your life.  How do you use your time?  How many people to you interact with each week?  What activities are you involved in?  What are your commitments, activities where others depend on you in some way? What are the activities that you feel obligated to do even though you may not like them?  Make this inventory as complete as possible.
3. Go back to the above list and rate each use of your time on a scale of 1 – 5, with 1 representing what you love to do and 5 what you detest doing, even though you may do it regularly.
4. Look at the activities that you rated 1 or 2.  How could you build more of these into your week?  Is there some way that you could apply them in some way when you are performing activities that fall into the 4 or 5 categories?
5. Now look at those that fall into the 4 or 5 rating.  Think creatively about how you might eliminate or do less of these.  
Cecile is an interesting example.  A  high 1 for her was to be able to be with  friends and to organize events.  Among her 4s was being tied down by a commitment to take care of her 5 year old grandson several days a week.  Her daughter was a single mom and unable to pay for day care while she was at her part-time job.   Cecile loves her grandson and being with him, but it has limited the time that she has for other activities that she loves.  As a result of taking an inventory of her life and seeking to build more of her 1s into her life, she organized a group of grandparents who also care for their grandchildren. Once every two weeks they organize a special event together with their grandchildren.  It may be a picnic in the park or games in one of their yards.  Then once every two weeks they arrange for two of the adults to watch all of the grandchildren and the other grandparents can have the day off.  All of this has given Cecile more spark again.