Bonnie Ross-Parker, 67, Atlanta, GA (originally from Hartford, CT)

I love the idea of AgeEsteem. I think of being proud to be where you are whatever your age is and having that kind of self-confidence and that belief in yourself that doesn’t have anything to do with age or with your chronological place in the world.  It’s just how you feel about yourself.

There are concerns about aging.  I guess I would have to say that my greatest concern is that I won’t be able to get everything done that I want to do before I pass.  There is so much more travel and so many more experiences I would like to have.  I’ve been moving into the closing of my 6^th decade, and it makes me realize that time is so short and so valuable and there is so much more to do and so much to experience.  That would be my greatest concern about age.  With my own experience with age I can say that I just love where I am.  I wouldn’t trade youth for experience under any circumstances.

Bonnie’s Tips:  Feeling good about yourself is an inside job.  It has to come from living a fulfilling life, and I am there.  I express gratitude every day.  I feel blessed every day.  I feel fulfilled in the work that I do.  I meditate.  I work out.  I do what I can to feel good about myself.  It has nothing to do with my age.  It has to do with just wanting to have the most energy and the most out of every single moment of every single day.  So for me it’s not at all about age or aging.  It’s more about enriching my life day to day and making it the best it can be at any given time.

As far as advice is concerned, I would just say to live each moment.  I know that sounds trite.  Everybody says live each day as it comes, but it is really getting the most out of the life you have, getting the most out of the experiences, making the most out of relationships, touching people’s lives, making a difference in somebody else’s life.  I think you look within to be fulfilled and not look for happiness from the outside with the new car, the new house, the new whatever.   Instead, just know that you are contributing and making a difference in the world.  If you don’t feel that you are, then find a way to do that through volunteering, through a warm shoulder, through a compassionate ear, whatever you can do.  It is the relationships that are fostered along the way that is most important.

It is interesting that the word journey has the word our in it.  I think the journey is really a collective energy.

Bonnie Ross-Parker is a professional speaker and author and creator if the national organization, The Joy of Connecting.

Bonnie AgeEsteemers, Secrets to AgeEsteem 67, age-esteem, Atlanta Georgia, Bonnie Ross-Parker, collective energy, feeling good about yourself, Hartford Connecticut, secrets of age esteem, self-confience, The Joy of Connecting

Patricia Lake, 65, PA, USA

When I hear the term Age Esteem I think,  ”I just age”.  It is just a word.  I don’t feel myself as old. I may be 65, but a lot of days I feel like I’m 40.   I feel that I have the esteem to go with my age.  Then there are the days that I feel like 90!  It depends how your body feels.  But since I started at exercising at Silver Sneakers I feel a lot better.   I quit smoking, too, so that helps.

Patricia’s Tips:  I just take one day at a time.  I have to for the situation that I live with. I have to take one day at a time because I don’t know what the next day will bring.  I try to live for that day and be happy.   I don’t like to dwell on things that are bad.  I’d rather think of positive things.

Just be happy.  Life’s too short.  I try to practice that.  It doesn’t always work, but I try!

Bonnie AgeEsteemers, Secrets to AgeEsteem 40, 65, 90, age-esteem, esteem, just be happy, one day at a time, Patricia Lake, quit smoking, Silver Sneakers, think positive

Anne-Louise Sterry, 60, Oregon, USA

The first thing that pops into my head when I hear “Age Esteem” is, oh my gosh, instead of thinking that old people are useless we’re going to look at people who are older with a sense of esteem.

What concerns do I have about growing older?  Actually concerns about aging just popped up for me when I turned 60.  One is a sense of anxiety that I don’t really have so much of my life left, and if I haven’t done what I wanted to do when I am I going to do it?  I better get to work!

A second concern is that I’ll never be able to retire.  I ought to be able to, except for the fact that I love what I do so I wouldn’t want to stop.  – But then when is the time that you can relax?  My father used to say, “You can relax when you’re dead.”  So that is a concern.  And of course there is the sagging of the body bits.  I’m not so happy about that.

Anne-Louise’s Tips:  I wake up in the morning and I try, especially if I am at home, to spend some time writing.  One of the things that I write at the top of my page is the type of day I want to create.  I often write that I am creating a day of joy and focus, or I’m creating a day of joy and love, or I’m creating a day of patience.   That actually carries me through my day.

Laughter is a really good thing.  Laughter makes you feel good.

Exercise.  You’ve got to get outside and walk.  You have to do something to get in the fresh air, something to move your body.  My husband and I ride bikes. I try to walk, especially since I turned 60.  I’m a new 60 and I’m struggling with that a bit.  It just seems old though I don’t feel old.  It is just the number.  I would like to change the number to have more years left.  I work on staying present and not future tripping or past tripping.  Both are useless.

When my parents were 60 they were old.  They weren’t out; they weren’t walking; they weren’t running; they weren’t doing things with their bodies.  So I guess I still see that as what 60 is supposed to be like.

When my Grandma was 60, she was a little old lady.  I think it is just an idea; it is just a concept that we need to change.  We need to change the concept of what 60 means.  Then I have a husband who is 65.  How did he ever become 65?

I’m a young old person so I don’t have very many tips yet.

 Anne-Louise Sterry, aka aunt Lena, speaker, author, performing artist www.Anne-Louise.com 

P.S. This interview wouldn’t be complete without a photo of Anne-Louise as aunt Lena, who is full of age esteem!

Bonnie AgeEsteemers, Secrets to AgeEsteem 60, 65, able to retire, age-esteem, Anne-Louise Sterry, Anne-Louise's tips, aunt Lena, creating a day of joy and love, esteem, growing older, laughter, sagging of body

It’s a New Year

And a New You,

Let us all cheer

For our New View

Of this Life and its Age Esteem

Fulfilling every newest dream.

Written by Alexandra Taylor for AgeEsteem®

Bonnie Secrets to AgeEsteem a new you, age-esteem, AgeEsteem®, Alexandra Taylor

Two Thousand and Twelve,

Imagine!  It’s here!

The start of another

Wonderful year.

Make resolutions and

Make them to last;

Live in the Present,

Inspired by the Past.

Growing old is not as bad as it seems;

Model each day by the book Age Esteem!

Written by Alexandra Taylor for AgeEsteem®

Bonnie Happiness at Every Age, Secrets to AgeEsteem age-esteem, AgeEsteem®, Alexandra Taylor, growing old, inspired by past

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Today is celebrated as Thanksgiving Day in several countries of the world.  But isn’t every day a day of thanksgiving?  We have so much to be thankful for !  Even on the days that seem to be grey and dismal when we want to complain, we can be thankful that we are capable of complaining.  It means that we realize that life could be better and that we still have higher aspirations than just what today may bring.

Gratitude is an important facet of age esteem.  Gratitude, feeling thankful because we recognize our blessings, is key to feeling good about yourself at the age you are today.   What are you thankful for?

I am thankful to be capable of thinking and learning.

I am thankful for my sight, that makes it possible to bask in the beauty of nature.

I am thankful for my hearing and to enjoy laughter and the rustling of leaves.

I am thankful for my arms that make it possible to hug.

I am thankful for my voice and being able to express my thoughts aloud.

I am thankful to feel emotions, especially love.

I am thankful to smell the freshness of the air after a storm.

I am thankful for Age Esteem.

I am thankful for family and friends.

I am thankful for those without names who have touched my life.

I am thankful for those who share their goodness.

I am thankful for YOU.

Bonnie Fatio

Bonnie Holidays, Secrets to AgeEsteem age-esteem, Bonnie Fatio, feeling thankful, gratitude, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Day

Ann Banner, 62, NC, USA

I think that when I hear AgeEsteem it is how you feel at any point in your life whether you’re considered young, middle aged or older.  Naturally by being over 60 now, it is how I feel about myself and being over 60 years old.

I think more recently I’ve given aging more thought because in my immediate area and among the people I grew up with, I see a lot of people I went to high school with who are dying in their mid- 60’s.   It concerns me not so much because I feel that I’m next, but because I do wonder what is it about our age group that seems to be more prevalent.  Then I fear that since years are going by there are things that I have to consider because I won’t live another 62 years.  I don’t know if it is so much a fear as it is a concern.

Ann’s Tips: I’m probably harder on myself than on other people.  I find myself telling other people things that I really should be speaking to myself about.  But when my younger co-workers say, “Oh is it 5 o’clock yet?”  I’m often heard to say, “Someone wishes they had all day.”  So don’t wish your life away.  I think that because I see time going by so fast, or seemingly so fast, I just think people ought to treasure that voice.  I find myself saying that a lot.  I try to live each day to the fullest.

I think that if people are honest with themselves they’ll realize there are things that they don’t like about themselves, but it’s the only self they’re going to get.  I guess what I would say is what I say to myself.   Emphasize those things that you do well.  We all have some, like a good sense of humor or patience, tolerance, understanding of other people, being less critical of other people.  Those things are all a part of our esteem and I think if we stopped and realized what is good that we can share with other people, we would feel better about ourselves.  That is where it starts.  If we’re not happy within we sure can’t share it.  Misery loves company.  That’s for sure.  I think people often seek out other people who don’t feel good either.  If you go to another person and you feel bad, you’re probably going to go to the person that’s going to agree with you, and that’s not always the best thing to do.

Ann Banner is a public health pediatric nurse working primarily with the pediatric residents from Chapel Hill, NC, USA

Bonnie Fatio

Bonnie Secrets to AgeEsteem age-esteem, AgeEsteem, Ann Banner, secrets of age esteem

Hendrica Okondo, 55, Kenya

AgeEsteem makes me think of feisty, fantastic wise women.

I think my fear of aging is that people will forget that I’m intelligent and I can still do the things I did when I was younger and that they will do things for me instead of ask me.

Hendrica’s Tips: I think the passion to live and just feeling blessed that I’m alive.  I thought I would die at 50.  And here I am meeting all these lovely young people.  I like women especially because there is always a story and they always want to know more about people.  I want to know what their stories are.  That’s what makes me excited.

I am in a line of work that keeps me in contact with like-minded people.  I don’t think it matters where they are.  I’ve met highly powerful women like Michelle Bachelet who is very down to earth and very nice, and I’ve met women in the village in Sudan who were fun to be with just sitting under a tree.  They can laugh at what they went through during the war and still find time to ask whether I have a husband and where are my children.  I think women wherever they are have this personal touch and that is what I love about them.

I think you should affirm yourself and not be concerned with what people think about you.  Just be clear that you are beautiful, not according to the model in the magazine, but beautiful with a good heart.  If you have a beautiful smile it makes it even better.  I think if you pick something you are enthusiastic about, even volunteer, it is good.  I was very inspired by two very important women coming in the other day just to help write certificates for speakers at the Women’s Summit.  That is very inspiring.  It shows just how committed and how engaged they are, which means that they are not sitting at home thinking, I’m lucky I’m bored.  No, they are just ready to go out and help.  It is the kind of thing I find in my village where you find grandmothers who are ready to come to church at any time and to decorate the church. -  They’re ready to do any work that you want them to do.  At the end of it you can all sit around and just laugh.  (I’m sorry you don’t have Hendrica’s contagious laugh live.  She shares it generously.)  I think that laughter just makes it easier.  I have great admiration for the women at the world office of the YWCA .  They work really very hard, and sometimes when things are going terribly wrong they just sit down and laugh.  I think it is a strength that keeps you going.

We need to stay current.  I love my job.  I get to talk about sex to women and they seem very shocked when I do because somehow I don’t think that my face looks like someone talking about sex.  I’m a Catholic, and I love to talk to Catholics about sex, because the Pope should have nothing to say about sex since he doesn’t practice it.  Especially in the continent I work in where we have 6 million young women that were born positive.  They have the virus.  So I get very angry when people say we want a virus free world,   These kids will never lead a virus free life, but they do want to have sex.  They also watch television and they know that relationships are what makes a young person.  If we do not tell them how to protect themselves, we will not reach the target of zero transmission.  They will do it secretly and they will transmit the virus.  This is a reality.  You can’t preach abstinence to someone who already has the virus.  So it becomes very serious work and I believe that women have a right to make decisions about their own bodies.  I definitely think if you want to have an abortion and you have information and you make a conscious decision and you understand the consequences you should have a right to safe and proper services to have the abortion.

Hendrica Okondo is Global manager for reproductive health and rights and HIV, and also the focal point for Africa at the World Office of the YWCA.

Bonnie Fatio

Bonnie Health Factors, Secrets to AgeEsteem age-esteem, AgeEsteem, fear of aging, Hendrica Okondo, HIV, Michelle Bachelet, reproductive health and rights, secrets of age esteem, world office of the YWCA

Mary E.  Kinhardt 73, CA, USA

Age esteem is something I’ve been thinking about a lot.  It is to value myself where I am in my life now, and the things I’m able to do.  It’s a bit of a challenge to see all the younger people and the things they can do, the places they go, the places they study and what their hopes are for the future. Mine are different now.  I recently moved to a retirement community because I wanted, in my mind at least, get to know what it means to be at this stage in life and being 73 in a retirement community. There are a lot of people in their late 70s, 80s, 90s.  When I get up each day I am challenged to think this is where I am, what can I do?

Obviously I’m here at the CSW (Commission on the Status of Women) at the United Nations in New York (where I interviewed her) because I think it is important to keep current with what the global women’s movement is doing.  I feel valued when I’m here for what I did for women over the years  and I really want to give the leadership over to the younger women and follow their guide.  This has been a time for me to learn how to live in a retirement community and also how to be a part of CSW at this stage in my life.

Health is a big concern.  I see what happens to the health of many people as they get older.  I guess I don’t want to go to the doctors that some of them go to or to the hospitals to get the procedures that some of them get.  I’m scared about what happens to people health-wise.  I’m trying to be optimistic and be thankful for the health I have now which is really pretty good.  So I’m just trying to trust God to help me at every stage.  He’s gotten me this far!   I do have medical insurance and doctors so I’m trying not to worry about that.

Mary E.’s Tips: My organization is The Grail.  We’ve had teenagers with us here and just seeing their vitality and imagining what they will get into as they go along makes me think this is really worth-while. This morning the YWCA presented the worship with women from Armenia, Belize and Japan.  It is heartening to see how they are moving forward.   Seeing them here now is thanks to what women (of which she is one) have done in the past.  That gives me energy.

I take care of my health and try to eat properly, get enough sleep and try not to get stressed out.  I try not to take on more things than I can do.  Use the privileges that you get when you are older like riding the NY subways and having people get up to give me their seats.  They don’t want this old lady landing in their laps!  I also avoid certain places that could get me into trouble.  Use practical common sense like trying to be conservative financially.

Life is basically good.  Sometimes you have to wait for the miracle to happen when things get tough, but try to remember that if you feel this way today you probably won’t feel this way tomorrow.  So live one day at a time.  Not to be worried about the future or to be stewing over what happened in the past but try to remember when things get tough, well they’re not going to stay this way.  Just go on.  Spirituality plays a role in my own consciousness.

Mary Kinhardt is an activist around women’s  affairs with a deep concern about the spiritual dimension of life.

Bonnie Fatio

Bonnie AgeEsteemers, Secrets to AgeEsteem age-esteem, AgeEsteem, Commission on the Status of Women, global women's movement, Mary E. Kinhardt, United Nations

Daniel Meylan, 76, Paris, France

Age esteem?  Esteem is already important alone.  With age it is even more important.  It is good to put them together.  We’re not so old.  We must continue to esteem ourselves and to care for ourselves well, not let ourselves go.

Daniel’s Tips:  I force myself not to let go of what I have always done.  I oblige myself to stay physically fit and to not be a vegetable.  I walk a lot.  A couple weeks ago I fell because I was racing to catch a bus.  It was a lesson.  I will not do that again.  It has taken me these weeks to recuperate my normal way of walking, which has to do with regaining confidence.

At present I have a problem.  If I don’t know people, I have a difficult time to carry on a conversation like I used to.  I am destabilized because I don’t find my words like I used to.  As a result I panic which makes it worse.  To improve this I am going to a coach specialized in helping me find the words that I have lost.  It is a long journey.  I completely stopped speaking at a certain point and now I am trying to recuperate the vocabulary I’ve lost.  I’ve also lost much of my English and my German.  Now I force myself to make conversation with others.  I actively engage in social occasions.

For the intellectual side I read books on the Middle Ages to learn about that era.  It is very difficult for me to concentrate, but I insist on doing it.  It is also another way to recuperate some of my words.

It’s also important to be with family, with the grandchildren regularly.

I go to a center for older people several times a week.  There is a woman there who is 100.  She manages to keep physically and mentally fit and is a strong role model for me.  She is well dressed.  I am considered someone who is still completely present.  I feel comfortable there but sometimes wonder why I go.  I am still completely independent which isn’t the case for most.  I get there and home by my own means.  I want to keep my autonomy.  It’s important for me.

We go there to live as well as possible as long as possible.  I am in the section that designs and paints in the morning and does gymnastics in the afternoon, though I am in much better physical form than the others.

I am strict with myself for all questions of remaining in shape.

Bonnie Fatio

Bonnie Health Factors, Secrets to AgeEsteem age-esteem, Bonnie Fatio, center for older people, confidence, Daniel Meylan, France, Paris, secrets of age esteem