Do you sometimes look into the mirror and feel unloved?

Try this.  Look through and beyond.

It is very easy for us to forget as we look into the mirror that if the glass we look into had no silver in it, then we would be looking not into a mirror at ourselves but  through a window at others. – And we just might realize how well off we are and how desperately the rest of the world needs our love.

A fear of committing ourselves, of taking a step beyond our own comfort zone, often holds us back from offering to others the kind of uncompromising love exemplified by a newborn.  And it is in offering our love that we receive love.

A happy way to experience age-esteem is to

• look beyond yourself to the needs of others,
• stretch out of your comfort zone and
• find a way to share your talents and love with those less fortunate.

Bonnie Happiness at Every Age age-esteem, every age, happiness, love

One of my favorite card over the holidays is copied below.  – Not the message on the card, but the message of the sender.

Why is it a favorite?  Because the words of June, the friend who wrote it, express how she puts her AgeEsteem to daily use via her

• acceptance of her present health,
• positive attitude,
• gratitude for what she has,
• social contact with others despite not getting out and about,
• interest in the lives of others and what is happening,
• continued purpose and contribution to others.

Precious Ones,

I hope all is well with you and your family and that you will be together for a Happy Festive Christmas…

Things here are ok.  I’m having to use the walker all the time to get around and don’t go out, only to the doctors.  My son and his wife were here the first of Nov. and took me shopping for necessities but that’s it.  I’m just happy I’m here where there are people and I have a nice warm room and plenty to eat, and at 93 that is a lot – Especially when I think of how many older people aren’t warm or have enough to eat.

I finally finished the 60 Hats of Love, (for Cancer patients) and 80 ski caps (for the needy) – my fingers don’t do quite as good as they did – and gave them all away – know they will keep some heads warm even if winter is cold…

June is a wonderful example of AgeEsteem for all ages.

Bonnie AgeEsteemers, Happiness at Every Age AgeEsteem, Christmas, contribution, gratitude, positive attitude

Do you say “Thank you”?  Of course you do.  You say it multiple times a day.  But do you say it mechanically without any real thought or feeling or do you say it with enthusiasm and a special lilt or timbre to your voice?

Thank you isn’t enough.  Part of being thankful – and we AgeEsteemers know it is important to our well-being – is to acknowledge what we are thankful for.    So why not try the following.

• The next time you say “Thank you” add what you are thanking the person for.  It might be “Thank you for making it fun to shop here, for your cheery smile, for letting me know you like my singing, for opening the door…
• When you say “Thank you” make eye contact with the person you are thanking and smile. 
• Put some spice and rythym into your voice.  Sing the words.  Add that spark of pizzazz!

Bonnie Happiness at Every Age AgeEsteemers, pizzazz, thank you, well-being

Recognize your blessings, however small.

Dr. Maya Angelou, who was asked by President Bill Clinton to write and recite an original poem for his Inauguration as President of the United States in 1993, had not always been articulate and confident.  As a young girl she felt she was worthless and was dangerously depressed.  Fortunately a teacher took interest in her and insisted that she make of list of everything she had to be thankful for.  When she could find nothing to write, the teacher said, « Then begin with the fact that you are able to hold a pencil. »  Little by little she began her list which has grown with the years.  Today, Dr. Maya Angelou is herself a blessing in the lives of multitudes through her words, lyrics and legendary wisdom.  At age 80 she continues her attitude of gratitude as she inspires audiences throughout the world.

On a recent trip to South Africa to present AgeEsteem at a global conference of Women’s Rights and Development it was once again reinforced for me just how privileged I am to live where I do.   Learning from such a diverse group of women was enriching.  Learning filters both ways.   Often the people who have suffered the most through war, drought, hunger or standing up for what they believe to be just and right are the ones who show the greatest gratitude.  They have managed to live through these experiences and survive.  -  And an important ingredient to this survival has been to see the little blessings along the way that others would have overlooked.

Recognizing our blessings, both great and small, and being thankful are powerful ingredients to reaching our potential at every age.

• Every night before you fall asleep ask yourself this question.  « What am I most thankful for today? »
• Seek the little blessings that you normally overlook.
• Nourish your gratitude and feel truly thankful.

Bonnie For the Soul, Happiness at Every Age AgeEsteem, Bill Clinton, blessings, Dr. Maya Angelou, gratitude, potential

Do you feel abundance surrounding you?  Do you think that it all belongs to someone else?  Or, are you sometimes overwhelmed with wonder at how fortunate you are?

Abundance is having all that you need and want.  Different people have varying perspectives.  Much depends on how we define what abundance includes.  Do you measure it by the number of things that you have acquired?  Do you feel blessed because you are healthy and have enough to eat?  Do you relish the abundance of beauty that surrounds you?

My Dad used to say that we were rich because we were healthy and happy.  We kept healthy habits, ate balanced meals and took dental hygiene seriously.  Our extra perks were picnics on the beach to watch a stunning sunset, or on a summer evening catching fire flies and giggling with friends as we pointed our elbow to a star and wished on it out loud.   We were giddy with abundance.  No one needed a second pair of shoes or a designer shirt to feel rich.  The coolest of the cool was to have pop bottle tops stuck onto your shirt, the more the better.

What is your abundance made up of?  Is it money, jewelry and designer clothes?  Do you count it as your friends and family?  Is it waking up in the morning knowing you have the gift of a new day to open and discover?  Do you consider the fragrance of the flowers and sounds of a bird chirping or water running in a stream as part of your treasures?  Is the simple fact that you have a job with a regular income or the skills to find such a job part of your fortune?

Bonnie For the Soul, Happiness at Every Age abundance, beauty, happy, healthy

Giving Thanks For Your Abundance

Do a multitude of blessings come into mind when you see this title or do you have to go on a hunting trip to find the abundance in your life?

An attitude of gratitude is a key to AgeEsteem.  And what better time of year to emphasize this than this month when Thanksgiving is celebrated in several countries?    Why not truly give thanks this year?

When our granddaughter was born,  I spent hours holding her in my arms thinking how fortunate she was to simply be born where she was born and in a family who wanted her, with parents, grandparents and extended family who love her.  She was born into an environment of peace and prosperity where as a young girl she can strive to become anything she desires.  Education is taken for granted.  She has a roof over her head, clothes to wear, her own shoes, and healthy food to eat.  Healthcare is readily available, including vacinations from diseases that continue to kill elsewhere in the world.  She can wish on stars in the clear night and watch in awe as the sun sets or rises with its colorful hues.  Probably her greatest pain will be from scraped knees and minor bruises.  She is free from the threat of land mines and snipers.  She lives where she can make her own choices, aspire to become what she wishes and to dream without fear.  Laughter, learning and freedom of speech are hers to enjoy.  And, I add once again that she is surrounded by family who will protect, support and encourage her.

Those of us who have some or all of these same fortunes truly have reason to give thanks for our abundance.

• Write down 10 reasons you have to be thankful.
• Now write 10 more reasons you have to be thankful.
• Write 10 more reasons.

Bonnie For the Soul, Happiness at Every Age abundance, AgeEsteem, attitude, blessings, gratitude, Thanksgiving

Recent research indicates that AgeEsteem begins when we are children.  The relationships we have with older people, the language we hear adults use to describe older people, and the images that we see illustrating older people begins in childhood.  It impacts our attitude about aging throughout our life – and even contribute to our longevity.

Those who are raised with a positive image of aging and who embrace it with AgeEsteem will live longer, happier lives.

Bonnie Happiness at Every Age, Nourishing Factors AgeEsteem, children, older people, positive image, relationships

Help Others

An important trait of people with high age-esteem is that they are happy and help others.

After an exhaustive study, the prestigious Pew Society in the United States came to the conclusion that the more people give of themselves to others in terms of time, money or other things, the happier they are. Not only that, they feel that in giving, they are the ones who receive more.

You want to be happy?  Find ways to help others!

• Identify people around you who seem truly happy.
• Interview these people about how they are helping others.  Do they build part of their leisure and/or budget with that purpose?   Even though they don’t normally talk about it spontaneously, you’re bound to find that they are regularly contributing to the lives of others in some way.
• Test the concept personally.  Build in an activity that focuses on others rather than on you.

Help others.  Build your age-esteem and find happiness at every age.

Bonnie Happiness at Every Age contributing, happiness, Pew Society, United States

Reach Out: When we reach outwards, thinking of and doing for others, we have less time to dwell on our self. Being involved in a project to help others gives us better perspective and a meaningful purpose. We grow and learn.

• Ask yourself what talents and interests you have that you are not using. How would you like to use these?
• Look for opportunities to contribute at least one hour every two weeks to a school, charity, social service or club. Ask friends, search the Internet, read announcements.
• Make a commitment to contribute your time and talents as the next step to building this dimension of your happiness. It will also enhance your confidence and age-esteem.

If you want to be happy, just be happy!

Bonnie Happiness at Every Age confidence, happiness, help others, perspective, purpose, reach out

Play: Why is it that when we become teenagers we decide that certain activities or games are too childish for us? Being silly and playful is wonderful at any age. Play is energizing and creates laughter. It helps us to bond with others of all generations.

• Choose something silly or outrageous that you’ve wanted to do, and do it! Sing in the rain, skip in the park, fly paper airplanes, wear that silly hat that makes you feel happy. Start with something simple and build from there.
• Invite friends for an evening of play: board games, volley ball, or acting out a play. Even those who drag their heels in the beginning will admit they had a good time.

Bonnie Happiness at Every Age childish, games, happiness, outrageous, play, sing