Are you constantly focused on what you have to do, forgetting what you would
like to do?
Harmonize your life. Happy people at all stages of life create a
balance among exercise, healthy food, positive relationships, adequate sleep,
and their main activity (studies, grandparenting, volunteering, travel).
Building this harmony in your own life may be much easier than
you think.
Take a
tough look at your life today. What seems to work well? What do you wish you
had time for but don’t? Prioritize these activities you would like to build
into your schedule.
Choose
one new activity to begin this week.
Decide
how you will include this activity into your life. What will you drop from or
reduce in your schedule? Who might take over a task for you to free up more
time?
Act on
this priority. As soon as it seems to be in harmony with the other activities
in your life, move on to priority two.
Be gentle with yourself. It will not happen overnight. Take it one step at a time. Your age-esteem will benefit as you take control.
Have you passed by the wonders of life? There is a television ad here in Europe for a soft drink which is offered to a man in a retirement home. When he drinks it he says, “I wonder what else I have passed by in life?” He then proceeds to look at his day as an experience to be lived and tests new opportunities.
This scenario reminds me of the film Steel Magnolias by Robert Harling when Julia Roberts says, “I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.”
In both the ad and the movie, what makes the difference between a day waiting for more of the same and minutes of wonderful is the person. How does he or she choose to live the minutes?
Is your day a piece of wonderful, or part of a lifetime of nothing special? Test these simple techniques to enhance your age-esteem.
Tell yourself you will have a day of wonderful.
Ask yourself, “What would make this a day of wonderful? Then incorporate that into your day. Test something new. Visit a new place; experiment with different foods; join a local tour; listen to modern music; invite someone to come for tea.
Keep a Day of Wonderful Journal. At the end of each day record what made the day one of wonderful.
You may be surprised at the effect this has on you, and even those around you.
“I want to tell people approaching and perhaps fearing age that it is a time of discovery. If they say, “Of what?” I can only answer, “We must find out for ourselves, otherwise it won’t be a discovery.” – Florida Scott-Maxwell
“The older woman’s love is not love of herself, nor of herself mirrored in a lover’s eyes, nor is it corrupted by need. It is a feeling of tenderness so still and deep and warm that it gilds every grass blade and blesses every fly. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” – Germaine Greer
“What feeling in all the world is so nice as that of a child’s hand in yours? What tenderness it arouses, what power it conjures. You are instantly the very touchstone of wisdom and strength.” – Marjorie Holmes
This morning I had my visit to my cardiologist for a sonar gram and stress test. I always enjoy visits with him. However, we are on the opposite sides of Lake Geneva during the summer and it is an hour and a half dive through heat and traffic. So I decided to turn my trip into an excursion.
Was it shorter? Not by much. It was, however, fun! My husband dropped me off at the pier where the lake steamers dock. I crossed in the crisp morning air with commuters on their way to work on the opposite shore. Then I hiked up the hill to the train station where the cog rail train would whisk me up the Jura Mountainside to the clinic. I felt wonderfully relaxed and refreshed when I arrived.
After seeing my doctor I made another decision. There is only one train each hour. I could race to catch the one that would pass within the next few minutes or I could wait for the next one. I chose to enjoy the moment and wait for the next train.
I decided to stay in the now and enjoy the moment. So here I am sitting on the terrace of the clinic completely tuned into the world around me. The view peaking out of the warm haze is spectacular. The mountains are barely visible. The world is quiet up here except for the harmonious cowbells ringing on the grazing cows. (Yes, there really are cows in Swiss pastures, and they do wear bells.)
These have been good decisions. Instead of driving home through the heat and traffic I will again board the train and boat and arrive home refreshed.
A key to age esteem is to make decisions, knowing you are in control. Sometimes, as with mine today, these decisions can slow down your day and allow you to be truly present in the joy of the moment.
“Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about 3 o’clock every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap.” – Barbara Jordan
On a recent flight to the U.S. from Switzerland I was seated towards the front of the plane for the 11-hour flight. As is often the case when I fly, I boarded the plane early and stood next to my place and watched passengers as they boarded.
More often than not travellers think that I am one of the flight attendants. This is probably because my travelling attire is a navy blue pantsuit. Passengers ask me all kinds of questions that I sometimes answer. I pride myself in knowing that row 46 is most assuredly towards the back of the plane, etc. There are also some destinations that I prefer because of the attitude of the travellers from those areas, especially in Midwestern U.S. People from those regions bring basic values on board with them. They are happy to help others and are exceptionally polite to the flight attendant’s double – me.
As often happens on full flights, families get separated with seats scattered throughout the aircraft. This happened on one of my flights to Minneapolis from Amsterdam. A grandfather was seated alone in the center section where he would definitely need assistance to get out. When one of the daughters started showing stress over the situation, the young woman next to the grandfather smiled and said that it would be no problem. She would take care of him. She and the grandfather, who were just across the isle from me, had such a good time that neither even slept. And, when it was time to disembark, the elderly gentleman would offer his arm only to his young seat mate to help him out.
Let’s now return to the front of the plane on this same flight. Two rows in front of me was a couple sitting together and chatting. Shortly a woman came and announced loudly to the man, “I think you are in my assigned seat!” It was an excellent seat with extra legroom so I anticipated that he might try to keep it. Indeed he did, but not in the way that one would anticipate. He leaned towards the woman and said, “I am, and this is your lucky day! I have just bumped into this old friend of mine and since I would like to sit with her I am offering you my assigned seat – in business class.” She obviously did not argue, but graciously accepted the exchange.
I like his expression. “This is your lucky day”. So often unexpected experiences do transform our day into a “lucky day”.
In the sanctuary of our church, there is a beautiful stained glass window above the alter. Lights shine behind it to illuminate the myriad of rich colors. This window has drawn my attention each Sunday for over 20 years, and I feel that we know each other intimately through prayer and meditation.
Recently the lights went out and the colors all but disappeared. An electrician was hired to thoroughly explore the wiring. Apparently he discovered new possibilities, because the result of his attention was a new splendor. The beauty of this stained glass window became striking. Its new luminosity allowed us to discover exquisite details that had previously remained unnoticed. The lovely window now radiates overwhelming beauty, a beauty that has always been there waiting to shine to its full potential.
Doesn’t this apply to us as people, too? Sometimes it takes very little to help us let our inner beauty shine. The same is true when we help those around us to shine more fully. Offer praise and recognition for what someone does well; help others to develop their qualities and talents and to realize their fuller potential. Seek new light within yourself, share your fuller potential with the world, and ignite the light in others.
How many times have you met someone who was very different from you in culture, religion, race, experiences, etc. yet you felt an almost immediate connection with the person?
Frequently this happens as I meet new people. Sometimes it stimulates me to get to know the person so that I can discover why this is so. At other times I simply accept the fact that they seem to be a soul mate and enjoy the feeling of connection.
One such experience was during the first international conference where I presented AgeEsteem. Among the other keynote speakers was the South African Ambassador to Switzerland. Although she had been raised during Apartheid in a very different culture with a different color to her skin, as she told her story I knew that our souls merged. Despite different geographical and cultural beginnings, our origins were similar. We had been raised with comparable values and many of the same messages of support and encouragement during our formative years. Neither of us was raised in riches of money; both were raised among the riches of love, a zest for life, knowing education was essential if we were to reach our dreams, and with a faith in right overcoming wrong.
Similar experiences have greeted me over the years as I travel the world and connect with people who are doing amazing things in their own homes and communities. Sometimes these people are older; often they are younger; rarely are they the same age as I am. Age makes no difference. What is within us does. We are connected by yes, our experiences and origins in some cases and our visions and goals in others. – And we are always connected by our shared values.
Next time you meet someone, when you stretch out your hand to say hello, stretch out your heart also. You may find a soul mate.
Hi, I am Bonnie Fatio. Join me in spreading the AgeEsteem phenomenon that is making waves across the United States, in Western Europe and in many other areas of the world.
AgeEsteem is energizing, relatively easy and doesn't even need to cost anything. It is an easy process that requires little more than the desire to enjoy your life – at any age.
How can you become AgeEsteem-ed and an AgeEsteemer? Begin with any or all of the following.
· Participate! Visit the site, and blog!
· Read the AgeEsteem book
· Attend an AgeEsteem workshop
· Invite Bonnie to speak to your group
· Listen to the AgeEsteem CD
...and be sure to visit AgeEsteem.com every day.
Together we can modernize society's image of age and aging!
