Patricia Lake, 65, PA, USA

When I hear the term Age Esteem I think,  ”I just age”.  It is just a word.  I don’t feel myself as old. I may be 65, but a lot of days I feel like I’m 40.   I feel that I have the esteem to go with my age.  Then there are the days that I feel like 90!  It depends how your body feels.  But since I started at exercising at Silver Sneakers I feel a lot better.   I quit smoking, too, so that helps.

Patricia’s Tips:  I just take one day at a time.  I have to for the situation that I live with. I have to take one day at a time because I don’t know what the next day will bring.  I try to live for that day and be happy.   I don’t like to dwell on things that are bad.  I’d rather think of positive things.

Just be happy.  Life’s too short.  I try to practice that.  It doesn’t always work, but I try!

Anne-Louise Sterry, 60, Oregon, USA

The first thing that pops into my head when I hear “Age Esteem” is, oh my gosh, instead of thinking that old people are useless we’re going to look at people who are older with a sense of esteem.

What concerns do I have about growing older?  Actually concerns about aging just popped up for me when I turned 60.  One is a sense of anxiety that I don’t really have so much of my life left, and if I haven’t done what I wanted to do when I am I going to do it?  I better get to work!

A second concern is that I’ll never be able to retire.  I ought to be able to, except for the fact that I love what I do so I wouldn’t want to stop.  – But then when is the time that you can relax?  My father used to say, “You can relax when you’re dead.”  So that is a concern.  And of course there is the sagging of the body bits.  I’m not so happy about that.

Anne-Louise’s Tips:  I wake up in the morning and I try, especially if I am at home, to spend some time writing.  One of the things that I write at the top of my page is the type of day I want to create.  I often write that I am creating a day of joy and focus, or I’m creating a day of joy and love, or I’m creating a day of patience.   That actually carries me through my day.

Laughter is a really good thing.  Laughter makes you feel good.

Exercise.  You’ve got to get outside and walk.  You have to do something to get in the fresh air, something to move your body.  My husband and I ride bikes. I try to walk, especially since I turned 60.  I’m a new 60 and I’m struggling with that a bit.  It just seems old though I don’t feel old.  It is just the number.  I would like to change the number to have more years left.  I work on staying present and not future tripping or past tripping.  Both are useless.

When my parents were 60 they were old.  They weren’t out; they weren’t walking; they weren’t running; they weren’t doing things with their bodies.  So I guess I still see that as what 60 is supposed to be like.

When my Grandma was 60, she was a little old lady.  I think it is just an idea; it is just a concept that we need to change.  We need to change the concept of what 60 means.  Then I have a husband who is 65.  How did he ever become 65?

I’m a young old person so I don’t have very many tips yet.

 Anne-Louise Sterry, aka aunt Lena, speaker, author, performing artist www.Anne-Louise.com 

P.S. This interview wouldn’t be complete without a photo of Anne-Louise as aunt Lena, who is full of age esteem!

Mary E.  Kinhardt 73, CA, USA

Age esteem is something I’ve been thinking about a lot.  It is to value myself where I am in my life now, and the things I’m able to do.  It’s a bit of a challenge to see all the younger people and the things they can do, the places they go, the places they study and what their hopes are for the future. Mine are different now.  I recently moved to a retirement community because I wanted, in my mind at least, get to know what it means to be at this stage in life and being 73 in a retirement community. There are a lot of people in their late 70s, 80s, 90s.  When I get up each day I am challenged to think this is where I am, what can I do?

Obviously I’m here at the CSW (Commission on the Status of Women) at the United Nations in New York (where I interviewed her) because I think it is important to keep current with what the global women’s movement is doing.  I feel valued when I’m here for what I did for women over the years  and I really want to give the leadership over to the younger women and follow their guide.  This has been a time for me to learn how to live in a retirement community and also how to be a part of CSW at this stage in my life.

Health is a big concern.  I see what happens to the health of many people as they get older.  I guess I don’t want to go to the doctors that some of them go to or to the hospitals to get the procedures that some of them get.  I’m scared about what happens to people health-wise.  I’m trying to be optimistic and be thankful for the health I have now which is really pretty good.  So I’m just trying to trust God to help me at every stage.  He’s gotten me this far!   I do have medical insurance and doctors so I’m trying not to worry about that.

Mary E.’s Tips: My organization is The Grail.  We’ve had teenagers with us here and just seeing their vitality and imagining what they will get into as they go along makes me think this is really worth-while. This morning the YWCA presented the worship with women from Armenia, Belize and Japan.  It is heartening to see how they are moving forward.   Seeing them here now is thanks to what women (of which she is one) have done in the past.  That gives me energy.

I take care of my health and try to eat properly, get enough sleep and try not to get stressed out.  I try not to take on more things than I can do.  Use the privileges that you get when you are older like riding the NY subways and having people get up to give me their seats.  They don’t want this old lady landing in their laps!  I also avoid certain places that could get me into trouble.  Use practical common sense like trying to be conservative financially.

Life is basically good.  Sometimes you have to wait for the miracle to happen when things get tough, but try to remember that if you feel this way today you probably won’t feel this way tomorrow.  So live one day at a time.  Not to be worried about the future or to be stewing over what happened in the past but try to remember when things get tough, well they’re not going to stay this way.  Just go on.  Spirituality plays a role in my own consciousness.

Mary Kinhardt is an activist around women’s  affairs with a deep concern about the spiritual dimension of life.

Bonnie Fatio

Each day of this new year will bring new opportunities and experiences to be experienced and savored.

Do you look forward to each day?

One of my favorite AgeEsteem mentors and friends was Doris Blunt.  Doris was a woman of amazing inner faith and strength.  She always seemed to be bubbling over with happiness and interest.  Yet she had buried two husbands, both of whom she had accompanied through Alzheimer’s in their last years.

When I asked Doris how she remained so enthusiastic and happy she offered me the following secrets to her happiness.

• When you wake up in the morning you have choices.  You can listen to the birds and give thanks for the day as a new blessing and get up to greet the day or you can lie in bed and feel bitter about your aches and pains.  She chose the first.
• Remind yourself that whether you have a good day or a bad day depends on you and the attitude that you bring to it.  She brought a positive attitude which began when she first awoke.
• Decide what your purpose for the day is.  Doris was the sunshine of the home where she lived, so she always put on her sunniest smile when she left her room.  She said that although her smile was not always genuine when she put it on, it definitely became real by the time she met another person.  In fact her smile became infectious.  Others returned it!

These are simple yet powerful pointers for each of us to enhance our age esteem and positive attitudes to live happier lives.  Let’s look forward to each day!

Bonnie Fatio

Home alone for Christmas?  This blessed Christmas season can be a lonely one for many of us.  This becomes especially true as we mature and our children leave home, marry and have their own families and traditions.  Not everyone can travel long distances to be together.

If you are going to be alone, why not create some new traditions of your own?  Age Esteemers know that when you are reaching out to others, you no longer feel lonely.  Why not plan some activities like these?

• Find out if help is needed at the local soup kitchen for the hungry, reading the Christmas Story to people in the hospital, or distributing gifts to the poor.  Most churches and communities have programs like these.
• Search out others of all ages who might be alone and organize Carol singing on Christmas eve followed by hot chocolate and conversation, a homemade or white elephant gift exchange, or party to play board games.
• Bake cookies or candy or make candles or decorations that you can wrap and deliver to people who you know will not be able to leave their homes.  Your visit when you deliver your gift will be precious.  It may prove to be the greatest gift.
• Plan to phone three people each day to wish them Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas or simply to let them know you are thinking of them.  Include people who will also be alone as well as family and friends.

Share your vitality and joy for living, your age esteem.  Even if you have to pretend to feel happy when you begin to reach out to others, before you know it your happiness will be genuine!

Bonnie Fatio

My heart overflows with love and gratitude.  Life is truly a blessing.  I am ever thankful for the loved ones in my life: a loving husband, daughter, son-in-law, two precious granddaughters, sisters and spouses, cousins, and numerous friends whom I treasure.  There is no time for wallowing in complaints or disappointments.  We are too busy living, loving and learning with a positive attitude.

Oh yes, lesser experiences and relationships are put in our paths, but that is also part of living, loving and learning.  Hurdles are put there to teach us vital lessons and to show us new dimensions of life.  They push us to become a better person.

People with Age Esteem know the value of living, loving and learning with a positive attitude.  Thank you for sharing your Age Esteem in the way you live, love and learn.

Bonnie Fatio

Bonnie Fatio interviewing Silvia Glatthard in Sardinia

What an amazing woman!  It seemed natural to continue this interview with Silvia Glatthard as we sat on the patio of mutual friends in Sardinia.  So we sat in the sunshine as she shared her passion for skiing which is just as strong at 80 as it was at 10.

“I was born in Interlaken, Switzerland.  We lived in the mountains so I began skiing when I was little.  I liked it a lot.  My father was one of the first skiers there.  He would take me to other mountains near by where we would have to walk up maybe two or three hours or more with the skis on the shoulder.  That made me love the nature, the snow and the skiing.  Very different from today, there was no chair lift.  We had to hike up when we wanted to ski down.  Then when I was about 10 my parents went to Murren for vacation in Springtime.  That’s where they had one of the first T-bars in the world.  So we went up and down the whole day.

I started competition when I was 17.  I started on the Swiss Championships in the Junior Class and it just happened that I won the downhill and the slalom.  Then they thought that I may be material for the National Ski Team.   Before I was 18 I participated on the Swiss National Ski Team at the Olympics in St. Moritz.  (The 1st Winter Olympics after the war in 1948)   Since I was the youngest I was a replacement and the forerunner in the Ladies Downhill. – I opened the slope for the race.    In 1950 we went to the World Championships in Aspen where I was in good form until I broke my leg just before the races began.

That was also where I danced with Gary Cooper.  Part of the team went to a bar one afternoon and there was Gary Cooper at the bar with a pretty woman.  I was so forward that I thought it would be something to dance with him, and with encouragement from my friends I went and asked him to dance.  So we had a little dance.  Someone took our picture and it was in a Swiss newspaper.  That was in 1950.

Then there were the Winter Olympics in Oslo, Norway.  There was no medal for me.  I am a specialist in the downhill, staight and fast.  There the downhill looked more like a Giant Slalom because it was in the woods and there were too many turns.  I finished 15th.  In international races I finished 4th several times, but that was my best.  I was on the podium several times in Switzerland as 2nd or 3rd, but not in the Olympics.

I still like to ski.  It’s a healthy sport. You’re out in the nature.  I love the snow and that chilly, crispy air, and I like the movement.  As soon as I stand on a pair of skis and they begin to move this is a special feeling for me.  You go; you move; you glide on the snow.  It’s very different from walking.  Today I ski as often as possible, but only when I have a good view, not when it is foggy or snowy.  It’s a bit dangerous for older people.  I go when the sun is out.  I become more prudent as I get older.

My husband was a skier also.  He was a Swiss champion in 35 and later captain of the Swiss Ski Team at the Olympics for all the ski disciplines.  In Aspen in 1950 he was at the Olympics with us as the only official.  He had to do everything.  Train, organize, meetings…  I knew him several years before as the big chief of the sport.  Then in Aspen he took me as his secretary because I was good in office work and we got closer.  We married in 1951.  He was 20 years older than me and I always respected him.  I loved him and I respected him.  We worked together in the business always.  He always took me with him when he visited customers.  We were selling sporting goods wholesale and later we had a little retail sport shop.  We have 3 boys and I am now a proud grandmother of 8 grandchildren, 6 boys and 2 girls.

We represented Kneissl skis from Austria to all customers in Switzerland for 20 years until the owner decided that they should have their own firm in Switzerland.  That changed the system and it was quite hard for us.  We had such great relations with the customers.  It happened when my husband was 70 and he wasn’t ready to retire.  He also started to build a hotel with 50 rooms when he was 65.  Sherpa Tenzing, the first climber on Everest, was a friend, so we named the hotel Sherpa Hotel.  He came to see us often.  Several Sherpa also came and my husband trained them in Alpine mountaineering.

I’ve been a widow for 7 years now.  My husband was nearly 93 when he passed away and I was able to do everything for him when he got ill.  A couple years were not easy, but I managed very well so that helped me a lot to be reasonable and to be thankful for everything we had together when he passed away.  I thought I had to expect this a little bit, but you never know what happens.  But since he was so much older than me this was the way it was, but I miss him very much still.”

Why is it that we focus on our skin spots, scars and beauty marks as flaws?  So often what we see as beauty in others we identify as a blemish on our own body.

I think this photo of a single leaf gives us the answer.  If we examine it carefully looking at each detail, we find brown spots,  tears and scars.  However, when look at the total leaf, these “flaws” make it even more interesting and pretty.  And when we see it on the tree it enhances the overall beauty of the foliage because of it’s particularities.

The leaf offers us an important lesson of  beauty.  When we wash our face, shave or put on makeup we tend to focus on tiny details.  We seek the flaws. – So of course we find them!  But when we look at the total picture of who we are, our beauty is very different.  Our total is more attractive than each little detail.  Our wrinkles, brown spots, scars and blemishes actually enhance our look.  And when we add a smile, in the same way that the leaf shines with its color, we take on our own color.  Our inner beauty flows to the surface.  Oh, yes.  The leaf is a wonderful example of what makes us beautiful!

Age esteemers are beautiful people because they shine from within and wear a smile.

Bonnie Fatio

All Saints Day is a time to remember and honor those who have gone before us.  In some countries it is also celebrated as Halloween.  Whatever we call it, it is a day to celebrate the lives of those relatives, friends, role models and mentors who are no longer with us.  It is a wonderful reminder that we will each live on in multiple ways long after our death.

It also reminds us that how we live our lives and reach out to others is precious. Who are the people you remember and celebrate today?  They are most probably those who touched your life through what they said and did rather than what they had.

Age esteemers greet each day as an opportunity to make a positive difference in the life of others. – A smile, encouragement, listening, reaching out a hand…  It takes very little to positively affect the  life of someone else.

Bonnie Fatio

Age Esteemers speak to themselves and others with words to encourage.  They grow confidence, skills and knowledge in others as part of their legacy.  They recognize their role as mentors and support and encourage others of all ages.  They share their own expertise and experience of living with openness and love.  They are eager to encourage as they help others to develop their qualities.

• Catch someone doing something new, challenging or difficult and support and encourage them.
• Revise and devise your vocabulary to give others a boost in confidence and to help them recognize what they do well.
• Look on encouragement as an opportunity to reach out to others as a mentor and guide.  You, too, will learn in the process.

Bonnie Fatio